When it all Comes Back
by svuxfanfic
Summary: Sealview ruined Olivia's life. And now, on the road to recovery, what happens when it all comes back? Final Chapter up now! Keep an eye out for the sequel.
1. Chapter 1

Olivia Walked into the precinct, returning the smiling faces of her coworkers the best she could. It had been approximately 4 months since her Sealview incident, and every single day was a chore to get through. The constant flashbacks, visions, and flinching at any sudden sound or touch. And her coworkers, and her best friends, were worried. And on top of all of that, Harris is back at work, acting like nothing had happened. Olivia's close friend, Casey Novak may have been taken off the SVU team, but the squad and her would still keep in touch. Everyone had mixed feelings about this new A.D.A, Kim something… And now Fin was requesting transfer. Olivia's life was falling apart and she couldn't do a thing about it…

Elliot walked in the 1-6 about a half an hour early because his electricity had blown and he planned on getting a shower in the locker room. He saw no one there, as expected, so he walked up the stairs and into the large coed locker room. He quickly took his shower and was out and dressed in 15 minutes. He grabbed his gym bag and shoved it in his locker and left. Right as he was about to reach the stairs, he heard a faint whimper coming from the crib. He walked over and quietly opened the door, revealing a depressed Olivia Benson. When she saw he had entered she jumped at the sudden noise then realized it was Elliot and wiped away the single tear that had found its way down her face.

"What are you doing here so early?" said Olivia asked, trying to hide the fear and hurt in her voice.

"Had to get a shower. Powers out. What about you?" he replied walking towards her. He sat on the bed next to her and he put his hand on her back. She flinched and Eliot drew back.

"I-uh-I couldn't sleep at my apartment. Noisy neighbors." she partly lied. Actually, her neighbors were a quiet old couple. But it had been true about sleeping at her apartment. Everywhere she looked, Harris's face was there. She would wake up in tears and sweat and usually screaming her head off.

Elliot looked down at his feet as Olivia looked at hers. Elliot just wished she would talk to him about what happened at Sealview. The only response he had gotten in the whole 4 months is "I'm fine, El."

But everyone knew she wasn't. He decided to try again.

"Liv," he whispered, "What happened in that basement?"

Olivia tensed at the words,

Flashback

"_What do you want?" asked Olivia, beginning to get scared._

"_What every guy wants," he said with a devilish grin, "And your gonna give it to me."_

_End flashback_

"Elliot," she said bringing her eyes to meet his, "We've been through this. I am FINE. Life is fine; everything is just GREAT."

"You know that's not true…" he said, "Just talk to me, Liv."

"There is nothing to talk about." she put on a fake smile, "I'm fine, El"

There was a long pause of awkward silence.

"Look," she said, "Our shift is about to start."

And with that she was out the door. Elliot cradled his head in his hands. Why did this have to happen to Olivia? She was the most wonderful person he had ever known. She really didn't deserve any of this. She has helped so many through this, and now it was happening to her. There was not much he could do, so he got up and walked down to the squad room. By that time, Munch and Fin were sitting at their desks sipping on their coffee. Olivia had that picture out again. Harris. Elliot wanted so much to just rip him limb from limb for hurting his best friend and partner. He took a seat across from her and got out his paperwork. Captain wasn't there yet to give them any new cases. The squad room was silent for about another 20 minutes until captain rushed in.

"Sorry I'm late, guys. Early morning traffic. Blech." His team nodded and went back to paper work. When captain emerged from his office, he was carrying a thick file.

"Looks like we got another case." said captain. Everyone stopped what they were doing and faced him as he read the file out loud.

"35 year old woman, just released from prison for dealing, she was mugged on the streets, dragged into an alley. You know the rest. Her name was Cassandra Lowes. Lives in Manhattan. She was attacked about a block away from her house."

"That folder is pretty thick captain, that's the whole case?" commented Elliot.

"Well," said captain flipping through pages. Then he froze. He looked up and made eye contact with Olivia, "She had another complaint of rape about 6months ago. She was an inmate. At Sealview."

At that moment, Olivia's mouth fell open and her mind raced. Olivia felt everyone's gazes of pity on her. She finally came out of shock and turned to face the expressions of the four men around her. Elliot looked mortified, Munch looked like he had just seen a person be abducted by an alien on the side of the road, and Fin, well he looked like he did when he was helping her up from the floor when he had found her in the basement cuffed to the door.

Olivia hated the awkward pity being thrown at her. So she looked at Cragen with fake calmness.

"So, uh, where did this allegation go?" she said.

"Absolutely nowhere." said captain.

"Figures," mumbled Olivia as she lowered herself into her chair.

"Elliot, they are bringing in the victim in 10 minutes, I would like you to interview her and-"

The captain was cut off by Olivia.

"No, cap," she said, "I want to talk to her."

"Are you sure you can handle that, Liv?" whispered Elliot.

"Of course I can handle it, El. This is my job, remember?"

Elliot just sighed and sat down.

About 15 minutes later, a skinny woman with dark brown hair looking tired and afraid walked into the precinct.

"I'm here to speak with Olivia Benson?" she said shakily. Olivia stood up and slowly made her way to the woman.

"Hi, that's me." she said with a smile, "Your Cassandra?"

The fragile woman nodded.

"Okay," Olivia said, "Lets get you to a room." then they walked off to one of the interrogation rooms. Elliot and Captain followed to stay outside of the window.

Olivia ushered Cassandra to a seat and she got out the familiar black tape recorder. When the light started blinking green, Olivia looked up at her.

"Can you please state your name?"

"Cassandra… Cassandra Lowes."

"Okay Cassandra. Can you tell me what happened last night?"

Cassandra nodded slowly, "I was walking home from a friend's house about 10:30 last night when a man grabbed me, and pulled me into an alley, and…uh.. You know.."

"Yeah, did he say anything?" asked Olivia.

"No," said Cassandra letting a tear fall.

"Did you recognize him?"

"No," said Cassandra, "but I did see that he was white with dark hair-either black or brown- I don't know."

"Okay, Cassandra, is there anything else you would like to share?"

She just shook her head and whispered "no".

So Olivia turned off the tape recorder and stepped outside for a moment.

"Okay Captain, do you want me to confront her with the-uh-Sealview incident?" asked Olivia.

"Are you sure your comfortable with that, Olivia?" Said Elliot, stepping in the conversation.

"Yes." she snapped.

"Go for it." said captain with a concerned face.

Olivia nodded and stepped back in the interrogation room.

"Uh, Cassandra, I have a couple more questions for you…"

"I told you everything I know!!" she said, choking back another sob.

"I know," said Olivia, "and you did great, Cassandra. But this is about another issue.."

Cassandra's eyes looked blankly at Olivia.

"About what happened at Sealview." said Olivia.

Cassandra's eyes went from blank to traumatized. Olivia knew that she was playing the whole thing back in her mind.

"What happened, Cassandra?" she said quietly.

"The.. The C.O… L-Lowel H-Haris."


	2. Chapter 2

"Cap, we have to take Liv out of there. This is going to kill her as much as it does Cassandra." said Elliot, watching from outside the one way window.

"Elliot, It's great that you care, but Olivia is a big girl. She can take care of herself." he lectured.

"DON! You know for a fact that victims don't exactly take care of themselves the way they need to. They aren't thinking straight." Elliot countered.

"Well, according the report, she isn't a victim."

The room was silent.

"That doesn't mean she didn't come close." Elliot whispered on the verge of tears.

"I know, Elliot," said Cragen, "I know.

"What happened Cassandra?" asked Olivia.

"He told me I had to go to the hole. I wasn't sure why, but by then, I had learned not to argue with the C.O.'s.," she said, "So I went. I didn't even notice that we were going the wrong way until.. Until we were going down the steps to the basement. I should have paid better attention to where we were going.. Maybe then.." "Don't go there." said Olivia, "If you would have fought back, he would have won. He had a weapon. And you were probably handcuffed, right?"

"Yea, yea I guess." she said, now sobbing hysterically into her hands.

"I think we're done for today. I promise we will find this guy."

"Thanks." whispered Cassandra and then bolted out and didn't even notice Cragen and Elliot standing by the window.

Olivia was next to come out. Tape recorder in hand, she sighed and also walked right by the two men. She went straight to her desk and fell into her chair. She put her head in her hands and closed her eyes. This was too much on her. As if her life hadn't fallen apart completely, already..

"Guys," said Munch stepping into the room holding a pile of papers, "We got the pictures from the M.E."

He pinned them on the white board to the left of Olivia's desk. She didn't even look up. Munch noticed her being distressed but decided to brush it off.

Once Elliot and Cragen joined them, the squad began discussing the pictures and trying to decide if they had any leads.

Eventually, after seeing the bruises on her waist line, they came to a conclusion on how he grabbed her.

Munch walked over to Olivia who had finally gotten her head out of her hands and was standing, arms folded, and resting her hip on the side of her desk.

"I'm guessing the Perp came up and wrapped his left arm around the Vic's waist like so.." munch said as he slid his arm around Olivia's slender waist. She immediately snapped out of her trance she was in. She grabbed his arm and began yelling "stop".

He backed up and put his hands up, as if surrendering.

"Liv, whoa Olivia, what's the matter with you?" he said.

Olivia was breathing heavy, and looking around with a distressed look and her eyes. She knew she couldn't just say it was nothing now. Its not like she could just say, "you gave me a bit of a fright, and im sorry for acting like a maniac." no, impossible. So she just darted up the stairs, into the crib, and slammed the door.

"What was up with that?" said Munch.

He looked around at the shocked and confused faces of his co-workers.

"I should go talk to her." said elliot marching towards the stairs.

"No," said captain, stopping him in his tracks.

"Cap-what do you mean 'no'?" he said.

"I mean the best thing we can do for Olivia is give her space when needed."

"I want to know so bad what happened in that freaking basement." he said. Fin looked down at his shoes, looking nervous and guilty.

"Fin," said elliot at last, "What did you see?"

"Too much," he said and walked out of the room.

Meanwhile, Olivia sat on the bottom bunk of the far bed in the corner. She still can't believe that she had freaked out in front of her co-workers. She had worked so hard for so long to earn their respect, and she finally had. And now, Harris was ruining that for her. This job is all she had, and if she cant even have that anymore, she had absolutely nothing. She felt like she was dreaming; like this was all just a big dream that she'd hopefully wake up from soon. But she knew it wasn't. She knew she was stuck in this situation. And she felt so.. Dirty. Like it was her fault. She knew it couldn't because of how many times she had told victims that, but how couldn't it be? She didn't even get suspicious when he took her the wrong way. How could she be so stupid? How could she have not noticed!? She is a freaking SVU detective! She knew what went on and that jail.. And yet it almost happened to her.

She went to Sealview to protect people, and looked what happened… This sucks!

_Knock, knock._

Olivia inhaled deeply.

"What?" she said.

"It's me, Fin," he said, "can I- uh-come in?"

"I-I don't want to see anyone," she stuttered.

"Liv, you don't have to be ashamed. Can we please talk."

Olivia wasn't exactly in the mood to talk, but she CERTAINLY wasn't in the mood to argue.

"Okay," she said softly.

He slowly opened the door and walked in. He automatically looked down at his feet when he saw the unfamiliar look of pain in Olivia's eyes. He slowly trudged to where she was sitting.

"Can I sit down?" he said.

She briefly nodded and looked away as Fin sat next to her.

"Liv, baby, talk to me, please?"

"What do you want me to say"

"What happened in the basement?"

Olivia looked at him in the eyes for the first time.

"You saw, didn't you?"

"Yea, and it looked bad. And I cant help you unless I know the whole story, honey."

"Look, I-I just don't want to relive it okay? I'll be fine."

Fin looked at her with pleading eyes.

"That outburst downstairs showed otherwise…"

"Fin, I-"

"Olivia, Fin, we've got something downstairs," Captain said opening the door.


	3. Chapter 3

Olivia and Fin made their way down the steps. Before they reached the bottom, Fin turned around and looked Olivia in the eyes.

"Liv," he said, "if you wanna talk later I-"

"Forget It, Fin," she interrupted. She hated being so rude to her friend, but she couldn't bare talking about that horrible day that everything was stolen from her.

"What've we got, Cap?" asked Olivia, once again tucking away her pain.

Well, we got prints from a nearby dumpster in the ally."

Olivia looked at him like he was insane.

"Uh, Cap, who knows how many prints have been on that thing?"

"Probably a lot," he said, "but how many of those prints would you expect to find blood, not only from a possible perp, but from the victim as well?"

"Oh," said Olivia as she nodded and sat down.

"We sent the prints to the MO and she is going to run them through the system. That's all for now." said captain. "Except you, Olivia, I would like you in my office, please."

Olivia huffed and got up, knowing well enough that this conversation was about her random outburst earlier.

"Look captain, im sorry I freaked out earlier, its just, I-"

"Olivia," Don stopped her, "It's not about that."

"oh" Olivia said, letting out a short sigh, "so whats this about?"

The room was dead in silence for a moment of two.

"We're worried about you, Olivia. All of us." He said at last.

"Don't be, Captain, really, I'm just fine."

He stared down at the ground. He hated pushing Olivia, especially after knowing for a fact that something more than a slight beating happened in the basement of Sealview. But he needed to get it out of her. She was slowly destructing. She needed to talk about it.

"What happened in the basement?" he said slowly and quietly.

Olivia closed her eyes. Unexpectedly, her eyes filled with tears. Out of nowhere, she was back in the basement…

_*flashback*_

_Olivia found herself flying face first into the dirty, old mattress. _

"_HELP ME!!!" she yelled. No use.._

_Harris was on top of her. He took off his belt and his radio. He was laughing the whole time.._

_*end flashback*_

She tilted her head back and let the tears sink back in.

"Please, Don, I can't…"

"Can't what, Olivia?" Said Cragen trying to keep the most professional voice he could maintain.

"I-I can't…" she said, tears threatening to fall once again.

Cragen stared at her hurting face.

"Talk to me, Liv." he said.

"It's.. I cant..I don't want.. To relive..im sorry.." she said wiping her eye to throw away the tear.

"I know it's hard, Olivia, but can you please just talk to me?"

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!!" Olivia shouted, startling both of them.

"What, Olivia, tell me.."

They sat in silence for so long. Olivia thought she was going to bust. Finally, she couldn't stand the silence. She got up and walked out of his office.

Olivia walked down the lonely streets. It was 10:00 pm and really dark outside. It had been a long day. The conversation with Cragen was breaking. She had no desire of talking about it!! Why didn't anyone understand that??? If they were so determined that something happened, why couldn't they just leave it at that. Why did they need to hear It from her?

At last, Olivia reached her apartment and went straight to her room and closed the door and flipped on all the lights. The sight of the blanket and pillow sprawled across her old, worn, couch, made her want to cry. She was weak!! How could she still be afraid of this loser. She is a detective!!! Supposed to put these guys away, not cower in fear of them.

"That's it!" she said out loud, "I'm gonna sleep in my own bed in my own room tonight." She angrily grabbed her pillow and blanket and stormed to her bedroom and threw them on the bed. She turned out the light and burrowed under her covers. About 30 seconds later; Olivia starts seeing things.

_*flashback*_

_Harris had his strong hand around Olivia's neck. His lips coming in on hers. _

"_Please don't, please don't, PLEASE DON'T!" she shouted in between kisses._

_He didn't care. He slammed her against the hard, unforgiving wall. _

"_NO!" she shouted, "please!!!"_

_And again, he laughed in her face._

_*end flashback*_

_She closed her eyes, and saw his evil eyes. Staring her down. _

_The tears were now free flowing as she stood up in defeat and trudged out to her couch where she finally fell into a nightmare filled slumber…_

_The next day at work……._

"_Olivia?" Elliot asked as he walked in and put his coat on his chair before sitting down. "Why are you here so early?"_

"_Ahh-" she said at a loss for words "My alarm clock went off early.."_

"_Oh," said Elliot, the doubt obvious in his eyes. _

_They sat in silence and wrote their early morning paperwork. Fin and Munch walked in about 5 minutes later._

"_Hello, Olivia, Elliot," said John._

_Olivia didn't look up. _

"_Uh, hi John." Said Elliot, looking at Olivia._

_Awkward silence filled the room until Captain Cragen barged from his office._

"_Detectives, the results from the prints just came in." he said._

"_So, who is it?" asked Elliot._

_Captain opened the heavy, beige folder and read._

"_Well, he was in the system.." he turned the page. For the second time in two days, he looked up in shock. _

"_What, captain, who is it?" asked Olivia, eagerly._

_He was speechless. He flipped over the file and showed it around. Olivia was shocked. She looked at him. There he was. The man she had hoped to never again see in her life. Lowell Harris._


	4. Chapter 4

**I don't own them. If I did, why would I be writing fanfictions instead of the actual episodes?**

**Okay, so Its been literally like, over a year or so since I've added to this? Haha don't hate me. But I just remembered this today and thought, what the heck. I'll give my readers something to do :) & I felt bad after I went through and read all of the reviews, saying "Add more!" and "Update!" It made me feel like a bad person for making you wait a year! Haha, so yeah. Hopefully my writing skills have improved after my year of taking a break. Let me know. Reviews are love 3 (:**

**Olivia's POV**

I tried my best to control my shaking. I didn't want Elliot so see my fear. If he knew even a fraction of what I felt right now, he would turn this car around and drive me straight back to the precinct. But I couldn't let him do that. I felt that I had an obligation to solve this case. Right now, we were on our way to Jersey, which is where Harris currently worked in a different prison. To no ones surprise, it was a women's facility. We were going to pick him up for questioning.

"You ready for this, Liv?" Elliot asked.

His voice was wary. I knew he was worried tremendously about me.

"I'm fine, El, please. Don't worry about me." I said, putting on the fakest smile.

Reluctantly, his eyes turned back to the road. We could see the prison now. We were almost there. I clenched my fists and controlled another tremor that threatened to rattle my body. _I could do this. I could do this. I could do this._

I chanted this phrase over and over again in my head until it was just as natural as breathing. I didn't even notice that we were parked in front of the building until Elliot was at my door, opening it for me.

"Thanks," I said, and then joined in step with him up to the prison door.

Just before we entered, Elliot gently grabbed my arm and turned to me.

"Are you-"

"Yes! I am sure Elliot." I said, cutting him off, mid question. I smiled at his concern.

"Okay," he said, "But let me do all the talking."

I nodded, more than willing to agree with that. The fact that I didn't argue with him on this probably surprised him, but he decided to let it go.

Inside the building, we were checked through a metal detector, then led to the warden's office. He greeted us with a smile and a handshake, then offered us each a seat.

"So, you're captain called to brief me on your coming. He said that one of our C.O.s were a suspect in your investigation?" He asked.

"Yes," Elliot spoke up, "We found his blood and prints at the scene of a crime. We'd like to talk to him, if that's okay.

"That's fine," said the warden, "He should be on his way back from lunch break. Let me get him for you."

He pulled out a radio from his belt and spoke into it, calling for Lowell Harris to report to his office.

We waited for bout 5 minutes, answering some questions about our investigation to the warden. Finally, the door cracked open behind me. Everyone turned around, except for me. _I could do this. I could do this. I could do this._

Eventually, he came around to where I could see him. It took all I had not to scream.

He turned towards the two of us, avoiding eye contact with me, with a confused expression on his face.

"May I help you, detectives?" He said.

"Yes," said Elliot, "We'd like to ask you some questions. Is there anywhere we can go with more privacy?"

Lowell turned to his warden, then back at us. He made eye contact with me this time.

"Yes, come with me." He said. And he led us out the door.

**Elliott POV**

As we followed behind Harris , it took everything I had in me not to grab my gun and kill him right where he was. I wasn't sure of what happened at Sealview between him and Olivia, but I know that what ever it was, has ruined her life. I hated this man for what he did to my partner. She was completely undeserving of whatever harmful act was committed.

I could tell that something was off about Liv as we walked to the interrogation room. She didn't seem normal. In fact, if I didn't know any better, I would venture to say that she was scared. She was trying to conceal it, but she was really afraid of this man. And again, I hated him for it.

He led us to a small room with a window, similar to one of our interrogation rooms, that was probably used for visitations of the inmates. He sat in the chair closest to the window. I offered Olivia the other seat, but she declined. Instead, she stood back against the wall behind me.

"So," I Harris said as I sat down across from him, "What is this about?"

I didn't miss the side glance he threw at Olivia.

"We found your prints, and blood, at the scene of one of our investigations," I said smoothly, "Care to tell us anything you know about that?"

His face was blank.

"Well there's got to be a mistake," He said as-a-matter-of-factly.

I could see that he was going to make this difficult, so I leaned across the table, resting my elbows on the table.

"Look, pal," I said, "As you can imagine, the folks back at the precinct aren't exactly your biggest fans right now. We are going to do everything in our power to make sure you get put away for a long, long time for the things you've done. And let me assure you, there is no mistake. So why don't you make this easier on yourself, and stop fooling with us here."

He kept a perfect poker face the entire time I talked to him, making the urge to punch him in the face even stronger.

" I understand your thinking here, Detective Stabler, I really do," he said, "but I honestly don't know what you're talking about."

My anger was at its boiling point. I was about to lash out when Liv spoke up for me, completely ignoring my request to do all the talking.

"Cassandra Lowes," she said boldly, "Remember her?"

Harris narrowed his eyes and looked straight at her.

"No." He said.

"Really?" she inquired, "because she says you've had.. Interactions with her on more than one occasion. "

"She's lying," He said, plainly.

"I don't think so," I interjected, "DNA tests don't lie. I think you are."

"You don't remember?" Olivia said, beginning to shout, "You don't remember her?! You raped her! How do you forget, you-"

"Liv!" I shouted over her, trying to calm her before this got ugly.

She stopped shouting, only to start hyperventilating. She grasped her chest and took a few raspy breaths, then ran out the door.

"Stay here," I told Harris. Then I followed after her.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Alright guys…I know what you're thinking.. "AMANDA, YOU BUM! YOU HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS STORY IN CENTURIES!" **_

_**And guys, I realize this. I'm so incredibly sorry. I feel like such a hypocrite because I always get so mad when people don't update their fics for years, but ha, look at me! Well, anyways, I'm not going to feed you lame excuses, because frankly, I have none. Lol But I hope you enjoy this new chapter, and I hope you haven't completely disowned/forgotten about me. (: Its kind of a short chapter, but it should suffice for now. I just really felt that ending the chapter where I did kept it short a sweet.. Well, kind of. Haha!**_

_**Keep reviewing and keep reminding me to update! Thank you guys for all of the support, and I really will try harder to keep up with this! Ok, moving right along!**_

**Olivia's POV:**

**Air. Air. Fresh air. That's what I needed.**

**I tried to run as far as I could from the room, but I only made it a few feet from the door before I tripped and fell against the wall. I barely even felt the impact of the hard concrete against my back. All I could feel was my repressed fear coming through with ferocity as I pulled my knees into my chest and shook violently. My lungs were screaming at me to take a deep breath but the sobs that were wracking my body made it nearly impossible. Desperate for oxygen, I sucked in a shaky breath. Tears were beginning to fill my eyes but I squeezed them shut and tried to swallow back another sob. No crying. Not here.**

**I nearly jumped out of my skin when a pair of large hands came down gently on my shoulders. Much to my relief - and dismay- it was Elliott. Although I was glad it wasn't you-know-who, I wish that Elliot didn't have to see me like this. Besides for the freak-out with Munch yesterday, this was the first time Elliot had seen me break. He was kneeling down in front of me as if he was confronting a small, scared child. His panicked eyes bore down at me and I knew he was desperate to help. Even so, I couldn't bring myself to meet his gaze. My fingers, which were now digging painfully into my legs, were turning white. I couldn't let go, though. If I let go, I would cry. And crying is weakness.**

**Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that El was hesitant and unsure of what to do next. Finally, after gaining enough of my composure that I wasn't going to cry, I looked up at him. For a while, he just stared back at me with that same worried, helpless face. He opened his mouth as if he were going to say something, but closed it again when someone pointedly cleared their throat from behind him. He whipped his head around and I followed his gaze, looking over his shoulder. It was Harris. I shuddered at the sight of him.**

"**I thought I told you to stay put!" Elliot seethed. **

**Harris smirked.**

"**Technically, Detective, I'm not under arrest. Therefore, I'm free to go anytime," he said arrogantly, "Besides, I have to get back to my work."**

**He added an undertone of something to that last part, looking directly at me when he said it. I wanted to throw up.**

**With that, he walked out of the room. I felt my muscles relax a little after he left, but I was still incredibly tensed up. Elliot stayed turned away from me for a moment, trying to control his anger, I assumed. Once he was composed enough, he stood up and faced me again. Wordlessly, he offered me a hand and I took it gratefully, pulling myself off of the ground. He stared at me once again with the look that he had before. I could tell there was something he wanted to say or ask. Something in my eyes must have stopped him though, because the focused, concerned look on his faced dissolved into defeat as he sighed.**

"**Captain doesn't have to know about this," He said simply. Then he led the way out of the building.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hey, guys! Aren't you glad I'm not waiting years to post this chapter like I have in the past! See, I told you I was going to get better about this whole updating thing. Well, anyways, I'm going to try to make this chapter longer than the last one because you all deserve it (8 Thank you for the wonderful reviews, and they really do encourage me and brighten my day! So without further ado…**

Elliot's POV:

After the rough interrogation with Harris, I took Liv out to lunch to some place in Jersey, not far from where the prison was. Although she barely ate and we were both silent pretty much the whole time, I knew she just needed a little bit more time before we went back to the station.

Olivia was distant the entire way back to the station, too. Although, by now, that wasn't exactly something I was surprised by. She had been like this ever since her undercover assignment, and it killed me. Needless to say, this case wasn't going to help matters much. Unbeknownst to Olivia, Captain and I had a long conversation about this whole issue. He agreed that this case could -and probably would- be hard on Liv. He also, however, believed that this could be the beginning of the healing process that she so desperately needs; getting back her strength, independence and whatever else. I was still worried, but captain was insistent on giving this a shot. So my contentions of assigning someone else to this particular case were over ruled.

Olivia finally looked up at me when we parked the cruiser in the lot of the station. Her big, brown eyes looked weary. The urge to take away her suffering coursed through me, as it did quite often. It took every ounce of my strength not to reach out and pull her to me, relieving all of the stress that today-and _that _day- had caused her. I didn't though. Instead, I looked back at her, waiting for her to say something.

"El," she muttered weakly.

I nodded, encouraging her to go on. Her eyes flashed a couple different emotions at once. Her mouth was slightly open, but no words were coming out. Finally, she sighed.

"Thanks for keeping.. This.. From captain," she finished.

I offered her a small smile and nodded my head.

It was silent once again as we both returned our gazes to our laps.

I was trying to gather enough nerve to ask Olivia about today, to talk about it maybe, when she spoke up.

"I want to stay on this assignment, El," she said nervously, looking down at her hands.

My head snapped up, not expecting her comment. How had she known I was worried about that?

She seemed to be even more nervous as I looked at her, so I looked away.

"You sure?" I asked.

She nodded.

"You want to talk about today?" I whispered.

She looked up at me again but never said a word.

"Liv.." I urged.

"I'm sorry, Elliott. I know I shouldn't have let my anger get the best of me." She said, ashamed.

"Don't apologize," I said, gently, "I understand why you got mad. I was mad, too, Liv."

"Ugh!" she huffed, her features suddenly alive with frustration, "Its just, he- I can't- I don't know, Elliot! I hate him, I really, really hate him!"

She looked like she was going to cry.

_Finally, _I thought, _this could be a breakthrough. She might actually talk to me._

I sat perfectly still and waited for her to catch her breath. When she did, all hopes of a breakthrough today were lost. I saw that familiar shield of composure wash over her. Her eyes, which were illuminated with passion only seconds ago, glazed over with lifelessness. I knew she was done talking about it.

She took one final breath, wordlessly got out of the car, and made her way back to the station.

Once she was out of sight, I let out a breath that I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

_Captain was wrong, _I thought, _This isn't going to help her. _

But I guess he wouldn't find that out today, because I was going to stick to my promise and not tell him about the horrible turn of events that happened today.

**Fin's POV**

Only one word could describe today - miserable.

While Liv and Elliott were out interrogating that Harris guy, I was stuck doing paperwork and listening to the senseless, irrational conspiracy theories of my zany partner, John Munch.

"I'm telling you," John was saying as Olivia walked through the door, "its something that the government is putting in the water system. Like our own form of population control."

"Yeah, yeah," I said, not really listening. I was trying to get a look a Liv's face as she dropped badge and gun at her desk and made her way swiftly to the bathroom.

"What's up with her?" aksed John, finally tuning into reality.

"Who knows.." I said.

Shortly after Olivia made her grand entrance, Elliot walked through the entrance, looking equally as disgruntled as Olivia.

"Hey, man," I said.

"Hey," he said, still looking distracted by something else.

I was really starting to wonder about what had happened today. I knew that they were interrogating that creep C.O. today, which was bound to be disastrous as it is, but it seemed that something else was going on. I'll ask Elliot about it later, I guess.

Cragen walked into the room at the same time that Olivia walked out of the bathroom.

"Guys, we have some news." Said Captain.

"What is it?" Asked Much, turning around in his chair.

"Cassandra Lowes," he started, "the vic we brought in for questioning.. She was found dead in her apartment an hour ago. Strangled, it looks like."

Elliot was seething.

"Harris!" He barked, "I bet he did it!"

"That's who the investigators at the scene said all leads pointed to," said Captain.

"So lets take him in," I said, confused as to why we don't already have that creep in cuffs.

"That's the problem," he said, "They can't find him anywhere. Harris has just disappeared."

Olivia gasped.

Elliott's fist made a loud _thump _as It came in contact with his desk.

And everyone else was frozen.

Oh boy.

**A/N: Ohhh, cliffy, I know! =) But I wont keep you waiting too long, I hope! What do you guys think? I hope this isn't too short of a chapter! Idk if its very good, either.. Lol. THAT'S FOR YOU TO DECIDE! Please review! Let me know what I'm doing right and wrong, and if I should continue. I probably will, anyways.. So yeah. I'm done taking up your time. GO PUSH THAT REVIEW BUTTON NOW (:**


	7. Chapter 7

**Update time, ladies and gentlemen! **

**Thank you guys again for the always-lovely reviews I've been getting. I can't tell you how much each one means to me. You guys are great. Thanks for sticking with me through this. Like I've said before, I was barely 13 years old when I started this story, and here I am approaching my 15th**** birthday(:**

**The reason I say this is because I want to know if I'm getting better with this story as time goes. If so, please encourage me by letting me know. If not, constructively let me know what things I should work on to improve my writing! ALSO! (sorry, I know this authors note is long!) As you can see, I like to switch up POVs quite a bit. I think it helps develop the story from many different angles. So please- tell me whos POVs you like the most! Which would you like to see more of? Less of? Let me know in reviews/ messages!**

**0% Ownnership of these characters goes to me. Well, except for Cassandra Lowes, but as you know,**

**she's dead now, so….yeah. Moving right along!**

**Olivia's POV:**

Gone. Disappeared. Missing.

I'm not sure _why_ this was a bad thing, I just knew that is was.

There were so many questions that I wanted to ask the Captain,. Why, why did he leave? When? Where is he? The most important question: Was he coming back? But I knew these were questions that he couldn't answer; questions that no one could answer.

I jumped when Elliott's fist hit the table but I didn't look at him. I didn't look at anyone. I just stood still in the overwhelming silence of the room trying to sort through my thoughts on this issue. I couldn't figure out why it was a bad thing that he was gone. It almost felt comparable to playing with a jack-in-the-box. It's a pathetic comparison, but it's the most I could think of. When a jack in the box is being wound, you can't see what is hiding on the inside, but you _know _its there. For the moment, what is inside is gone. Missing, just like Harris was. So close to you, right under your nose, but you can't see it-or him in this case-until that one climaxing moment. The one unexpected moment that he pops up, right out of nowhere after all of the built up, nervous anticipation. That's what it was.. It was the dreadful anticipation of Harris's return that had me shaking. I knew he would return, too. I didn't doubt it for a second.

"So he kills the vic, knowing that she ratted him out and then skips town," said John, bringing us all back from our temporary 'moments'.

_Wait.. _I thought.

Munch's words seemed to make me realize something. Something awful.

The captain opened his mouth as if he were going to comment on John's fairly accurate theory but was interrupted by small, choking gasps. Everyone turned to me, the source of the noise.

"Elliot," I whispered, "It's my fault. When I blew up at Harris, I told him what Cassandra accused him of. We gave him the motive to kill her, to keep her quiet, and then we didn't even bring him in. He must have left the prison right after the interrogation and went to kill her! We just let him go and now look at her, she's dead, Elliot! And its all my fault!"

I could hear my voice getting louder and louder as I ranted on, but I couldn't do a thing to stop it.

"Liv.." Elliot said, the concern apparent on his face.

"Olivia?" Captain said questioningly, "What do you mean 'when you blew up at him'? Was there some sort of problem today that I should know about?"

I was silent.

"No, sir," Elliott said looking directly into Capt's eyes.

I looked up at him slightly surprised.

By the look on his aged face, Cragen didn't buy a word of it. He let it drop anyway.

After a few more moments of awkward silence, my mind was made up and the determination could be clearly read in my eyes. I picked up my black leather jacket and motioned for Elliott to follow me out the door.

"Come on," I said, not caring who opposed the idea, "We're going to go find Harris and when we do.. I'll be sure that he never sees the light of day again."

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Elliott look at the others and shrug. He, too, picked up his jacket and followed me out the door.

I couldn't believe what I was doing. I was about to go on a relentless search for the person who I'd been doing nothing but running away from ever since the day he broke me down.

And I had to admit, it felt pretty good.

**Harris's POV**

This rush was familiar.

The rush of knowing you just killed someone.

_Killed. _

_Murdered._

It's quite a thrill.

I had only experienced this feeling once before.

It had been at Sealview, my former place of work. I don't remember her name, but it's insignificant anyway. Once she put on that Orange jumpsuit, she was no longer a human to me. Just property of the state.

I had planned it so ingeniously, staging it as a suicide. It had been brilliant.

This time was different, however. I didn't stage a thing for that Cassandra something or other.

I just killed and ran. And it felt great.

It was such a rush thinking that I could get caught at any minute, but knowing I wouldn't. Here, where I was currently seated on this old gray-hound bus, no one would catch me. They would never suspect a thing. After all, I am a man in uniform, and you better believe that I use that to my full advantage. Not to mention, the story wouldn't be in the paper until tomorrow morning, so I still had about 10 hours of guaranteed safety left.

_Although, _I thought wryly, _It's not like I plan to stay away for long. _

I knew I had some unfinished business back in New York that I needed to take care of. This 'business' however would not be one of my hit and runs. Oh, no, this one was going to take much thought. That is why I m getting away for a while: so I can plan everything out perfectly.

I reached in my pocket and pulled out the picture I'd been carrying around all day. I studied the brown hair, brown eyed woman in the picture for quite a while and eventually my anger was almost off the charts.

_The nerve of that little.._

She thought she could overpower me? Get me arrested? Get me ridiculed by others of my profession. Ha. Well, I suppose we'll see about that, Olivia. We'll see who suffers now.

I shoved the picture forcefully back into my pocket as the bus came to a stop outside of a big city. I yanked up my bag and trudged down the long isle way, ignoring peoples' annoyed looks when I bumped into their seats. I didn't thank the driver, whose looks and B.O. was making me even more grateful to get off that dump of a bus.

The air was crisp and cool when I stepped off and the bus drove away. I took a few minutes just looking around. I'd never been in this part of town before.

It was beginning to get dark out. Suddenly, a young girl across the street caught my eye. She was probably 16. 17, maybe, but it was a stretch. She must have gone to one of those private schools because she had a knee length, plaid skirt on with long socks and a sweater. She'd be pretty cute if she wasn't so covered up. I felt my mouth involuntarily curve up into a grin as I began walking towards her. My plans for Olivia were going to take much organizing, but that doesn't mean I couldn't have a little impulsive fun in the meantime, right?


	8. Chapter 8

**Olivia's POV: **

"Sarah Parkins, age 16," Captain Cragen said standing at the front of the squad room, "A civilian found her in the opening of an alley, crying hysterically with her school uniform was ripped. She's from around here, but was out of town on a school trip. Apparently, she somehow got separated from the rest of her group. That's when the perp must have found her.."

I sighed. This world could be so sick.

Elliott looked over at me with the same worried face he'd been wearing for a long time now.

"You okay?" He mouthed.

I offered him a small smile and a nod. Though he could probably tell I was lying by the bags under my tired eyes.

"She's on her way down for questioning right now," he said, "so she should be here any minute."

We nodded at him.

"Liv, you want to take this one?" Cragen asked me.

"Sure, sure," I said rubbing my eyes and pushing myself up from my desk.

Just then, a uniformed officer walked through the doorway, her arm around a frail, scared looking teenage girl. She had a black eye and was walking with a limp.

I take it that is Sarah Parkins.

I put on the best smile I could manage and walked up to her.

"Hi, sweetie," I said, not getting too close to her, "You wanna come with me?"

She shakily nodded and began to follow me when something over my shoulder caught her eye. As she stared past me, her eyes began to grow huge and her mouth hung open. I frowned and turned around to see what she was staring at. Then I knew.

Her eyes were glued to a picture of Harris that we had pinned up to the board for the Cassandra Lowes case.

"Sarah?" I asked, turning back to her, "Are you okay?"

"H-him," she whispered, "It was him."

My mouth was hanging slightly open as I tried to process this. Once I gained my composure, I put my hand on the small of Sarah's back and led her to one of the closest interview rooms.

"Here, sweetie, lets talk about it in here."

Before I walked out of the room, I stole a glance back at the rest of the squad. They all had identical, open-mouthed expressions. I knew we were all thinking the same thing.

This was getting out of hand.

**Elliott's POV: **

We were all dumbfounded by what Sarah Parkins had said.

Harris had attacked her. And something tells me if we don't find that creep soon , she wouldn't be the only victim.

Cragen, who had left the room just before Sarah had arrived, suddenly walked back in, urgently waving a manila folder in his hand.

"Guys, check this out," he said laying the folder down on Olivia's desk and opening it, "Pictures of Sarah Parkins from the M.E. What you're going to see might surprise you."

He let the pictures spill out onto the desk and stood silently over us, waiting for our reaction.

I slid one of them closer to me for a better look. The picture was a close up of Sarah's wrist. I could see the finger shaped bruises and patches of dry blood on her pale skin, but what stood out was the name that was clearly carved out, cut into her skin. It was Olivia's name.

"He's after her," I said, looking up into the shocked faces of my co-workers that probably mirrored my own.

"This is like his warning," said Fin said, disgusted.

"And God knows how many 'warnings' he's going to send along," Added Cragen.

We knew he was right. He would keep hurting innocent girls until he got to Olivia.

We passed around the pictures until we'd seen all of them. A few minutes later, Olivia emerged from the interview room looking distressed as ever. She joined us with a confused expression, probably wondering why it was deathly silent in the squad room. Wordlessly, I handed her the picture and watched as a horrified gasp escaped her lips.

**Harris's POV:**

I smirked as I thought of how Olivia Benson and her co-workers would react to my little gift. She was probably freaking out by now, sick with paranoia. My smirk widened. She_ should _be paranoid. Because I was going to really make her pay for trying to get me thrown in jail. She would beg me for death when I was done with her. Stupid broad, thinks she is so powerful. We'll see who has the power here soon. And, oh, it _will _be soon. I don't know how much longer I can take the anticipation.

I looked down at the unconscious girl on the floor beside me. It's a shame she had to fight so hard.

I took out the sharp blade from my back pocket and neatly began to scrawl out a bloody note on her leg.

_See you soon. _


	9. Chapter 9

**Olivia's POV:**

It was absolutely freezing up here on the roof of the precinct, but I had to get away. I couldn't take one more second of staring at _his_ picture, plastered on every screen in the squad room. I couldn't handle the fact that we had no leads on Harris, whatsoever. More than that, I couldn't stand knowing that every second Harris was out there, an innocent girl could be hurt because of _me._ That's what this was about after all. He was after me, to finish the job he wasn't able to complete at Sealview, and that thought made me sick. I gripped the metal bar that ran along the edge of the rooftop, trying to steady myself just incase I really did get sick. Once the nausea passed, I relaxed my rigid posture and looked up into the breeze, trying to catch a deep breath. However, my breath caught when I heard the door open from behind me. I jumped and spun around, pressing my back to the wall.

Elliott stepped out from behind the old, wooden door and I relaxed immediately.

"Hey," I said, regrouping myself, "What are you doing up here?"

A half smile crept its way onto his face.

"I could ask you the same thing," he said walking towards me until we were side by side, looking over the railing.

I smiled a weak smile and shook my head, looking down at the busy ground below. I watched as a man helped a woman-probably his girlfriend- into the backseat of a taxi and stared after it as it disappeared around the corner of another tall building. Elliott was staring at me; I could feel it.

"Olivia," He said cautiously, "If this case is too much…"

"No," I said, forcing myself to look him in the eye, "It's not, I promise."

He was not convinced, that much was obvious. He was not going to let it drop this time.

"Liv, seriously," He said, leaning in towards me. I looked away immediately, back at the street, and felt the tears gather in my eyes. I tired to choke them back, definitely not wanting to cry in front of Elliott, proving him right.

"Do we have any leads?" I choked out, desperately trying to change the subject.

He wasn't having any of that, though.

"What happened in the basement?" He asked.

I froze and looked up at him, annoyance and disbelief written clearly in my expression.

"Oh my- wow. We are not doing this again, Elliott. No."

"Olivia," he barked firmly, stepping in front of me, trapping me between the brick wall and himself. I flinched and tried -as it became increasingly more difficult- to hold the tears back. The close proximity was about to send me into a panic attack.

"El…" I whispered shakily, pushing lightly on his chest. He didn't seem to notice , though, as rage welled up inside of him. I needed him to back up.

"No, Olivia!" He said stepping closer, "I'm tired of hearing you're okay when I know your not. I'm sick of hearing nothing happened when we both know it did! Something happened in that basement that you won't tell any of us. Why?"

The first tear escaped, trailing down my cheek, and I knew it was useless to try and old it in at this point.

"Elliott, please," I begged, pushing again on his chest.

This time he took notice of the look on my face and stepped back. He gave me a slightly shocked and apologetic look, but he still obviously wanted me to answer him.

I drew in a quivering breath, thankful for the space he had given me.

"I don't want any of you to know," I said, looking down.

"Why?" He repeated. This time, he reached for my hand. I flinched slightly, but allowed him to hold it gently in his.

"Tell me why you won't tell me. I'm your partner," He practically begged.

I could hear the hurt in his voice and it only added to my guilt.

I just shook my head, unable to find my voice at the moment ,but wanting him to know it wasn't anything personal.

"It's because I wasn't there, isn't it?" he said ashamedly, looking down at his shoes.

My head snapped up in shock, disbelief and.. Rage?

"What?" I said.

"It's because I wasn't there to save you. I'm your partner, and I didn't save you." He said quietly with a look of horror on his face.

For the first time in our partnership, I saw Elliott Stabler truly ashamed of himself. It made me even sicker.

"Elliott," I said. It was my turn to be stern, "What happened- it was not your fault. I don't blame you. Not even a little."

It was the truth. I didn't blame anyone for what happened to me. Except for me. And Harris, of course, but I blamed myself for being so stupid, for letting him take me down there in the first place.

"Olivia, I wasn't there. I wasn't-"

"No," I snapped, yanking my hand from his. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before continuing, "You can't keep looking over your shoulder to make sure I'm okay. I have to learn how to do my job and not wait for you to come to the rescue."

I reluctantly opened my eyes in time to see the recognition hit Elliott harder than a ton of bricks.

"No…" He whispered, almost to himself, "No, Olivia, please, don't think that."

"You said it your self, El," I whispered, "And its true."

"No, Olivia," he said, "It's definitely not true. Okay, first of all, when I said that, I was mad. At myself! You know how I get when I'm angry - that was my anger talking! And it was wrong to ever say that. You are an amazing partner. I couldn't wish for anyone more independent and strong. Okay?"

I didn't respond, so he continued talking.

"Secondly, even if that was true, how would it apply to you at Sealview? You were unarmed. You were _practically a _civilian. No, worse, you were a prisoner. You literally had almost no power."

I shook my head and kept my gaze far off.

"I tell myself that all the time.," I said quietly, feeling my resolve beginning to cave as another small tear fell.

"It's true," He assured me slowly taking my hand again. I didn't flinch this time.

"What happened at Sealview, Liv? What did Harris do? You have to know that not knowing is killing me."

I closed my eyes. I needed to tell him. I_ had _to tell him. Even if it didn't help me at all, my partner needed to know.

My legs instantly began to shake - either from my nerves or from the cold. Elliott must have picked up on that. He gently took my arm and led us both down to the ground where we both leaned against the wall. Once we were seated, he pulled off his jacked and covered it over the both of us. It mostly covered me, but a small fraction of it was still left over for Elliott's shoulder. Although this position was a bit more.. Crowding than standing , I was too relieved by the warmth of his jacket to object.

"You can tell me anything," He said, urging me to begin. I could tell that he didn't really _want_ to hear what happened to me. It was more like he _needed_ to hear it. Just like I _needed_ to tell him.

So with one final, shaky breath, I began.

**Elliott's POV:**

"As you guys knew, there was a TB outbreak in the prison," Olivia started. I could hear the fear in her voice so I held her hand ever-so-softly under my jacket. I was relieved when she didn't flinch again. "They weren't telling us much though. They never told us much about anything. Everyone was getting scared and wanted answers. So when Parker, who I had originally singled out as our perp, told me to come with him, I started an uproar about the outbreak, and soon everyone was joined in. They called in all the officers to restrain everyone, and that's when Harris came over, asking who started the riot. Parker handed me over and Harris said he was taking me to the hole…"

I could tell the story way about to get to the 'bad part' by the way she took her hand gently out of mine and wrapped her arms around herself, trying to block out the world.

"Instead, he took me to the basement… I should have known! I knew my way around the prison, and we were going the wrong way! I didn't even say anything about it!"

She was blaming herself. I wanted to object and tell her there was nothing she could do, but she gave me a look that told me I needed to let her finish. So I did.

"I had no idea what he was..doing.. Until I saw.. The mattress." Her sentence came out in quiet, teary, double-edged words that cut straight through my chest.

"I asked what he wanted and he said, and I quote, 'What every guy wants.. And you're going to give it to me.'"

I shut my eyes, trying to calm my anger at Harris. I could kill him. I _would _kill him for even thinking of touching Olivia. He deserved a slow, painful death. But right now, Olivia needed my attention.

"He threw me down onto the mattress and climbed on top of me. I screamed for help. When I managed to get up, he grabbed me by the throat and kissed me. He wouldn't stop kissing me, Elliott. I begged him to stop. He threw me against the wall and crushed me there. It was awful. I couldn't breathe, but somehow managed another scream. Even though I knew it was useless. Everything I did was useless against him…"

"You did everything you could," I quietly objected, not being able to hear her blame herself anymore.

She silently nodded.

"He undid my handcuffs, which finally gave me a chance to hit him. Which I did. I took off running, but really, there wasn't a lot of places to run to. So I hid. But.. He found me. And I fought again, but he managed to overpower me and get me to the door. And he cuffed me to it.."

I could tell she was skipping over things, leaving things out. I didn't say anything though. I didn't want to hear the details anyway. I couldn't handle it as it was.

"He pulled down his pants.. And he grabbed my face.. But that's all the farther he got. Fin came in and saved me. He didn't rape me, El. He just.."

"Came too close," I finished her sentence.

She looked up at me with red, tear filled eyes and nodded.

"He came to close," she said, her voice finally faltering into sobs.

I let the jacket fall to our laps and pulled her into my chest, rocking her body back and forth as she cried. I never thought I'd see her this upset, and I never wanted to see it again. She looked so vulnerable, like she had finally just given up. I knew, though, that her telling me this means she was ready to begin healing.

However, that would be hard to do with Harris on the loose.. Coming after her again. But this time, he wouldn't hurt her. He wouldn't touch a single hair on her head. I would make sure of it.

I would protect my partner this time.

**Fin's POV:**

John Munch: Good guy. _Great_ cop. And when it came to the real stuff, the best partner a guy could ask for. But when it comes to choosing the person you want to spend your entire day at work with? Yeah, he's definitely not making my top 10 list. At this point, with this stressful case going on, I don't think I can handle one more of his insane tirades.

"Munch, man!" I finally busted out, interrupting him mid sentence, "You gotta give it a rest, dude. Chill out."

He grimaced at me as I pushed away from my desk and stood up.

"I'm going to the roof to get some fresh air. Feel free to not join me," I said, already on my way out the door.

"Fine!" He shouted, "But when the government finally strips away your final shreds of freedom, don't come crying to me!"

"Believe me, I won't," I muttered.

I had to take the steps because the elevator was broken. Stupid, cheap building. So I hurriedly made my way up the 3 flights of stairs until I finally came to the dark, wooden door at the end of the stairway. Just as I went to push it open, though, I heard something. Crying? No, sobbing. Sobbing and gasping. And what struck me right through the heart is the fact that I know that sob. It's the same sobbing I heard when I busted open the door at Sealview. It was Liv.

I slowly and silently opened the door, but only a crack, because what I saw stopped me. Liv _was_ the one crying, but she wasn't in trouble. She was practically lying in Elliott's lap, crying into his shoulder. At a time like this, I could only infer that it meant one thing: she told him.

Smiling, I shut the door and headed back down the stairs. Good for her. This was a big step; telling someone. I only hoped now we could catch Harris and put him away for life before anyone else -including Olivia- gets hurt again.

**(: So, I decided to give you guys a little more of a not-so-problematic, not-so-angst-ish chapter this time. Don't you think the characters deserve it? And yay, Liv finally told Elliot about Sealview. If only we could get the writers to actually make that happen on the show… Anyway, I personally like this chapter. But my vote doesn't count, so let me know what you guys think. Reviews, as always, make me happy and get me in the mood to update! Thanks for reading.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Elliott's POV:**

It was midnight, pitch black, and deathly silent in my house, but sleep was not an option for me. Today had been a big day; Olivia had finally told me what I had needed to know for the past few months. That was reason number one that was keeping me awake. Everytime I closed my eyes, I pictured everything that she had told me. My mind was running wild with visions that probably didn't even to justice to what really happened.

Reason number two for my being awake was this case in general. I always put my entire heart and sould into the cases I get. I always did everything I could to get these creeps off the street. This one, though, was personal. Beyond personal. Lowell Harris tried to hurt my partner, my Olivia, and there was not way he was going to walk.

The third and final reason for my temporary insomnia was the one specific sentence that Olivia had brought up today. She reminded me of what I had said a few years back during the Gitano case. Tempers had flared. I was angry at myself for saving Olivia. No, I wasn't angry for that; I could never regret keeping her alive. It was more that I was mad that my discision caused a young boy to die. I was angry and I unfairly and unjustifiably took it out on my partner. Little did I know it had affected her so much...

Today when she brought it up, quoting me perfectly, the pain in her voice made me feel more shame than I ever had in my life. Knowing that I had caused that pain made me want to eat my gun. I knew that she had forgiven me for saying it, but she had not forgotten. And I would certainly never forgive _myself. _

I jumped slightly when I felt a small hand touch my chest. I calmed down, though, when I realized it was just Kathy. Her arm had reached out in her sleep and landed on me. I smiled slightly and reached down the put her hand in mine, gently running my fingers over it. She groaned slightly and began to wake up.

"No, no, no, go back to bed, Kath, sorry I woke you," I whispered quickly, touching her face lightly.

"Elliott?" She said groggily, reaching up to touch my face, "What are you still doing up?"

I sighed and looked away.

"Thinking," I said.

She yawned and pulled herself into a sitting position, turning on the lamp.

"Tough case?" She asked.

I nodded. I never liked bringing my work into my home. I knew Kathy wanted me to open up about it, but I couldn't expose her and the kids to that kind of evil.

"Want to talk about it?" She asked quietly. She looked away when she said it, knowing full well what the answer would be.

"No thanks," I said softly.

Slowly, Kathy leaned over and kissed me softly on the lips. I wrapped my arms around her back, grateful for the much needed comfort. She crawled over closer to me, climbing onto my lap. Our kiss depened as I laid back onto the bed, bringing her with me.

We were interupted however when my phone rang. Kathy's posture dropped, but she didn't move for a few seconds, simply leaving her lips slightly on mine.

"I have to get this," I whispered against her lips.

She closed her eyes and pulled away.

"Of course," she said.

She didn't say it with additude or with a sharp tone, she just said it in a very small, defeated voice. I felt bad.

"Stabler," I groaned, answering the phone.

"El, it's Cragen. We've got another victim. From Harris."

"You want me to come down to the pricinct to interview her?" I said with a sigh.

"No, Elliott," he said ,"She's dead."

I closed my eyes in frustration as he continued. He told me to meet him and the team at the scene of the crime: and alley that was less than two blocks from the pricinct. That only meant one thing, Harris was getting closer.

I sat back down on the bed and crawled over to Kathy, hating the pain filled expression on her face.

"Kathy.." I said quietly. She knew what was coming.

"I have to go," I whispered.

"I know," she said.

I leaned forward to plant a kiss on her, but she turned her head, allowing my lips to touch her cheek.

"I'm sorry," I whispered before slipping on some clothes and walking out the door.

**Olivia's POV:**

Elliott and I arrived at the scene at about the same time. It was the usual: cold wind, flashing police lights, ambulances, and CSU guys everwhere. Same old song and dance everytime, but this time it was different. This one meant that there was one more girl who was dead in my place. It also meant that Harris was closer, and that scared me more than I let on.

"What have we got?" Elliott said as we both approached the Captain.

"Time of death is about 2 hours ago. She was raped and beaten pretty badly."

I sighed and closed my eyes.

"Okay," Elliott said.

He looked over at me as we began walking closer to the actual alley.

"You okay?" He asked.

I didn't respond, only gave him a small, sad smile, because as we both knew I wasn't. He nodded.

He held the yellow crime scene tape up for me to walk under and then followed behind me. I took a deep breath as we approached the body. As anticipated, she was bruised. And young. Probably about Ashley Tyler's age, maybe even younger. It tore at my heart.

Also, there was blood pooled around her, coming from what seemed ot be a major cut on her upper leg.

"Any I.D.?" Elliott asked one of the CSU guys, as I tried desperately to find my voice.

"No," He answered, "But we know she can't be any older than 14. "

I shook my head silently, willing my tears to stay back.

As we stood in the silence for a few more moments, my eyes began to look over the half-covered body. That's when I noticed something off about the cut on the leg. Oh, no.

"Warning.." I choked out, "It's.. It's another one of his warnings!"

My voice escalated.

"What?" Elliott

"The cut, El!" I said, pointing to it, "It says something."

Elliott blinked as my words registered.

"Hurry," he ordered, "I need a wipe!"

One of the CSU guys reached in his kit and grabbed out a steril wipe and a latex glove.

Elliot snapped on the glove and took the wipe to the girl's leg. He gently and quickly wiped away the huge pile of blood that had gathered, needing to scrub a little harder at the dried blood. Eventually, we had it wiped up enough to read it somewhat clearly.

"Look up," we both read aloud. Then we froze.

Our eyes met ever so briefly before our heads snapped upward, looking around quickly before we both spotted him, standing out on top of the 5 story building beside the ally. Harris.

Before we had a chance to react, he pulled a gun and shot downward at us before running off back onto the roof. I shrieked as the bullet hit nothing but the brick wall behind us.

"Get him!" Yelled a voice that might have even been my own. And we took off.

**Haha yes! I totally just left you hanging there! Don't hate me though, because I have big plans for the chapters ahead! Dundundunnn. :) Pleasepleaseplease reviewwww! & Check back for a (hopefully quick) update!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Olivia's POV:**

There were no words to describe the feeling I had at that moment; running side-by-side with Elliott, guns out, sprinting up the flights of stairs and dashing through the dimly lit hallways of the building. Part of me felt nothing except the familiar waves of adrenaline coursing through my bloodstream. That was the feeling I got every time we were chasing down a perp. This time, though, I felt another emotion: fear. Simply because seeing Harris's face was enough to get me shaken. I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing his face again and been alright with it, but now I was rushing to _find _him.

_Think of the victims, _I told myself, trying my hardest to swallow my fear, _Think about all of the girls he killed.. To get to you. You have to catch him._

Picturing the traumatized face of Sarah Parkins and the photographs we had received of the other dead girls, I forced my legs to propel myself forward. Faster. Harder. I was going to catch Harris- for what he did to Ashley and Risa Tyler, to Sarah Parkins, to what he did to countless other inmates at Sealview. I was going to catch him for what he did to _me. _Suddenly, the feeling of fear that helped fuel my adrenaline was replaced by a new motive: anger.

We stepped off of the fourth flight of stairs, which led us into a large, darkened storage room.

"The staircase to the rooftop has to be somewhere in this room!" Elliott said looking around, "Do you think he's still up there?"

I spun around quickly, surveying the entire room, before my eyes finally found an old, wooden staircase leading up to an metal door.

"Only one way to find out," I said taking off towards the set of stairs.

I was almost there when the remaining three light bulbs shut off, leaving the room in complete and utter darkness.

"Elliot!" I yelled, making sure he was okay.

"Liv!" He called back.

I strained my eyes, but I literally couldn't see a thing. I huffed out a breath in frustration.

"You okay, El?" I shouted.

"Yeah," He called from what sounded to be across the room, "If Harris is still on the roof, he would have had access to the building's power supply."

My jaw dropped slightly before I answered back.

"He shut off the power. He knows we're in here." I said, "I'm going up!"

"No, Liv, wait!" Elliot yelled after me, obviously trying to protect me, but I ignored him.

My hand gripped around the rusty, metal railing of the stairs and I guided my way up. When I got to the door I took in one final deep breath and busted it open, gun out in front of me. It didn't shed much light into the room considering it was the middle of the night, but I didn't look back anyway. Not until I heard the clang of the door slamming behind me.

My eyes widened and I froze in my running stance. And then I heard it. The deep, gruff, humorless laugh that I would never forget if I lived to be a million years old.

"Harris," I whispered.

"That's right," he replied, "Did you miss me?"

I heard his footsteps approaching and spun on my heel, the barrel of my gun ending up only inches away from his face.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," he said, smirking and putting his hands up, "Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

I narrowed my eyes at him, confused as to why he was so calm. It's not like we were evenly matched, he didn't have his gun on him. He must have something up his sleeve, and honestly, I wasn't looking forward to seeing what it was.

I struggled to find my voice, praying that I could come off sounding at least somewhat intimidating.

"Lowell Harris," I choked, "You're under arrest for the rape of Sarah Parkins, the murder of Cassandra Low-"

"Oh, am I?" He said, chuckling and stepping toward me.

I gripped my gun tighter and clenched my jaw to hide my trembling.

I looked into his eyes, holding back a tremor of fear as I saw the familiar, animalistic hate.

"For the m-murder of Cassandra Lowes…"

Another step closer to me.

"You have the right to - remain silent," my voice broke.

Yet another step closer.

Finally, I stepped back.

"I'll shoot," I said, tears threatening to spill.

"No you won't," He taunted in a sing-song voice.

My eyebrows furrowed and I was once again puzzled.

That is, until I felt the cold, hard touch of a gun barrel on the back of my head and heard another all-too familiar voice.

"Hey, fishy, you miss me?"

**Elliot's POV:**

A flashlight, a candle, a match. Anything would do. Anything to help me find Liv. I still can't believe she just took off by herself up there. Although I shouldn't be surprised. Since when does she ever listen to me? It's not like she listened to me when I advised her not to go on her undercover mission in the first place.

_No, Elliot, focus. Find a light._

I had already tried finding my way to the staircase blindly, but it hadn't resulted very well considering how crowded, dark, and large this room was. And from what I saw when the lights were still on, the stairs had been quite a bit away from here.

I dropped to my knees and began searching for anything that might help. I stopped when I found a round, cold, metal object. A flashlight?

My suspicions were confirmed when I found a switch and hit it. I had never been so relieved to see light again. It was dim, but it would do for now. Without waiting another moment, I flashed it in front of me and made my way toward the steps.

**Olivia's POV: **

My stomach dropped about ten stories at the sound of Matthew Parker's voice. Panic began to creep into my veins like a cold wave washing over every one of my nerves. A choked gasp tore through my lips. They seemed to find this amusing.

"Surprise," Harris whispered as he made a move to step around my line of fire. I reflexively went to follow him with my aim, but stopped when the barrel at the back of my head was shoved even harder against my skull. He chuckled when I cringed against the pain.

"Okay," Harris said, now standing at my side. I was absolutely frozen, my gun still straight out in front of me.

"I think it's time we get rid of the gun, Detective Benson," He said seductively, leaning into me. He ran his hands down my arms - earning a shiver of disgust and fear from me- until he had a grip on my gun. With little fight from me, do to the gun at my head, he took the gun, laid it on the ground, and kicked it at least a few yards away from us.

"Good girl," Parker purred in my ear. I flinched, feeling my lip tremble as the first tear ran down my cheek. I knew it was over. It was going to happen again.

Parker's free arm wound itself around my waist and violently jerked my body against his. I closed my eyes and a let out a single, quiet whimper.

"Please," I whispered, feeling another tear fall.

"Oh, so we're going to play _that _game again, huh? '_Oh, no, please don't.'_" Harris stepped directly in front of me, mocking me.

I closed my eyes and turned my head away from him, only to find Parker's face right on the other side, only inches away from mine.

"So here's what's going to happen," he started, "See that latter over there? Well, we're going to take that down to the ally-the one where your little CSU friends _aren't_- and you're going to get in the car with us."

"No," I whispered, "Please."

"Oh, yes," Harris taunted, leaning forward to grab my face in his hand. I only fought him for a second before I remembered - more like I was _reminded_- about the gun to my head.

"And you aren't going to say a word," Parker continued, "But just in case.."

I could feel him getting something out of his pocket and I heard something rip, but I didn't realize what was happening until the duct tape was placed firmly over my mouth.

"Mmmmmmm," I protested against it.

That's when I heard pounding on the metal door. Elliot.

"Mmmmmm!" I shouted against the duct tape again.

"Liv!" He shouted .

"That's our cue," Said Parker.

He roughly dragged me behind the two of them as they made their way towards the latter on the side of the building. I could still hear Elliot's furious pounding.

"I'll go first. Then you send her after me ," Harris said to Parker, then he shot an evil look at me, shooting chills up my spine. "She's not going to escape this time."

**Guys, I'm going to be honest with you, this was probably one of the most difficult chapters I've written. I worked so so so hard, and I don't even know if its good.. Lol so hopefully YOU like it! Please review, tell me what you think. I could really use the encouragement.**

**Btw, I have really really really enjoyed all of the feed back I've been receiving for this story ****J you have no idea how much each review means to me. Thank you soooooooo much for reading! Love, Amanda.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Elliot's POV:**

"Gone!" Captain practically screamed in my face, "What do you mean she's gone, Elliot? You weren't supposed to let her out of your sight!"

"I know, Captain, I know," I said, tears of shame and of fear for Olivia were welling up in my eyes, "She ran off without…"

"Are you saying it's _her_ fault that freak took her?" I heard Fin's voice as he and Munch pulled up to the crime scene approached us. Apparently someone had contacted them about Olivia.

"No! That's not it! I- Oh gosh.. Oh gosh, guys, Not _freak,"_ I whispered, feeling even more shame fill my body, "_Freaks."_

Everyone stopped short, looking up at me questioningly.

"Freaks?" John said, "You mean.. more than one guy took Olivia?"

I nodded.

"I heard _two_ voices.. And then I heard Liv trying to yell and - Oh g- Liv I'm so sorry."

At that last part, my insides fell apart and my voice faltered into a sob.

"I shouldn't have let her go! I should have stopped her! I should have made her stay!" I shouted at myself, bringing my hands to the sides of my head.

Captain sighed and turned slightly away from me, refusing to make eye contact.

"It's not your fault, Elliot," he said at last.

"Yes it is," I said, finally meeting his eyes, along with Munch's and Fin's.

I dropped my shoulders in defeat.

"She told me about Sealview," I said, "About.. What happened in the basement. With Harris."

Everyone, except Fin, looked up at me surprised, but I kept talking.

"You know what she said?" I asked, not really expecting an answer, "She quoted me. She-she remembered what I said years ago, on the Gitano case. When I told her I couldn't constantly be saving her. She believed me."

Captain squinted in focus, trying to remember and finally, it hit him. His eyes widened and then closed in pity.

"She's going to use that to blame herself, Cap," I whispered, "And it's my fault."

Captain stood in quiet thought for a few moments, keeping me and the guys waiting for whatever it was he had to say. Eventually, he opened his eyes and looked up at us, putting on his professional, all-business, "let's get it done" face.

"I'll have CSU dust for prints. Elliot, try and see if you can remember and recognize the second voice you heard. Munch and Fin, try Olivia's cell; it's doubtful that she can answer, but maybe we can still track it. I'll go talk to the people at the front desk, see if they saw anything that might help. Let's move!" He ordered sternly, "We're going to find our girl."

**Olivia's POV:**

They rented a van. Could they have been any more cliché? Two large creeps out on the street with a big, rusty, carpeted van to hold their prey, handcuffed and helpless, in the back of. Which happened to be my current position.

They had managed to get me in without much resistance because of the gun to my head. They sure seem to know how to make a fight unfair. If they had been unarmed, I would have fought back, screamed, shot, done whatever I could have to get free. I would have gladly and cheerfully slapped the cuffs on them and sent them straight to central booking. Or maybe I would have just thrown them straight off the building.

In any case, those were all just "what if's" because the fact of the matter was, they had a gun, and they got me. And truth be told, I was terrified.

They didn't say a whole lot to me after we got in the car, but I could hear their low voices coming from the front of the van. We had probably been on the road for about an hour, maybe even more. I had no idea where we were or where we were going because, staying true to the cliché, the windows in the back had been painted over with thick, black paint.

All I knew was that my gun was gone, my hands were chained above my head, and they only men who had ever truly scared me to the core were only a few feet away from me.

I was still in cop mode, trying my best to find anything: a loose bolt on my cuffs, a gun, an opening in the painted windows. But I found nothing. After all, it was pitch black in here. I began quietly moving my feet around, trying to find anything on the floor that could be useful to me, but stopped when my body was forcefully jerked to the side as the car came to a stop. I froze and strained to try hear what they might be doing.

"I need to take a leak," I heard Parker's voice through the thick, black curtain separating the front of the van from the back.

"Go in those trees over there or something. Take your time," Harris replied. Somehow I didn't like that answer.

There was the sound of the door opening and shutting. Parker had gotten out. Then it was silent for a few moments. I almost thought that they had both gotten out until the black curtain was roughly shoved aside, revealing Harris kneeling there with a smirk.

"You getting lonely back here?" He said, "Because I could always give you some company…"

Panic dropped in my stomach like a bomb as he began to make his way toward me on his knees.

"No," I said, jerking against the unforgiving, metal cuffs, "No, stay away. Help!" I began to scream.

He laughed at me and grabbed my face between his hands, forcing me to look into his eyes.

"Sorry, detective, but we are about 40 minutes away from the nearest civilization, so you can scream all you want. But I don't think the woodland animals are coming to your rescue."

I tried, unsuccessfully, to wrench my face out of his grip. He smiled at me again, and then began to lean in toward me.

"No, no please!" I begged just before his lips crushed mine.

"Stop!" I tried to yell around his mouth, but he had me completely against the inside wall of the van. I couldn't move my head at all.

"No!" I tried screaming against him again, only to regret it when he used this as an opportunity to shove his tongue down my throat.

I frantically pulled against the chains again, but it was no use. I couldn't help myself from gagging. He already had his knees on either side of my outstretched legs, both straddling me and pinning me against the ground at the same time.

One of his large, calloused hands made it's way down my body, grabbing at my hip, while his other continued to hold my head in place.

When his mouth pulled back from mine, I tried again to scream.

"Stop!" I yelled. He ignored me of course, sitting up (but staying on top of me), and began to move both of his hands towards my mid section.

"Please!" I screamed, yanking against the cuffs and feeling the skin break.

He was just about slide his hand under the hem of my shirt when we heard the sound of the car opening again. I never thought I'd be so relieved to hear the sound of Parker's return.

Harris smiled deviously at me before caressing my face and getting off of me.

"We'll finish this party later," he said, winking.

When Matthew Parker got into the car, he looked behind his seat at us and smiled at the sight of Harris climbing off of my terrified, shaking form.

"Getting an early start there, Lowy?" He chuckled.

"Nah," Harris said, his eyes never leaving mine, " Just giving our little fishy here a preview."

Harris climbed back into his seat, the curtain was closed, and not long after I had heard the van's engine start up again, I had already cried myself into a fearful, exhausted sleep.

**Dear readers, your reviews make my life.. Like, no lie. (:**

**Thanks so much, and sorry for the delayed update. School just started, so I have homework and sports and blah blah blah, excuses. I'll try not to keep you waiting so long, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter… Livvy's in trouble! Keep checking back to see where I go with this (:**


	13. Chapter 13

Wow. So this is my quickest update ever! I deserve some kind of world record or a monumental reward or something. Or.. I would just settle for some reviews (: Lol, but on a serious note, the reason I updated so quickly was because 1) With school started up, I didn't know how much more free time I would have after today and 2) The reviews I got for this last chapter melted my heart (: I seriously love your guys' feedback with a passion! Please, keep it coming and I will do the same. You make me so happy that I continued with this story. Enjoy! J

Elliot's POV:

**Olivia's gone.**

_Bang._

My fist made hard contact with the hard, metal locker.

_Crash._

I hit it again.

I was angry, fuming. Furious. Irate with myself, with Harris, with the second captor, whoever that may be. Terrified for Olivia.

_Bam. _Another blow.

It's my fault.

_Smash._

It's all my fault. I let her go. I let my partner down.

_Slam._

My partner!

_Clang._

_Bash._

It's my job to look out for her! To make sure she's okay!

_Slam. Bang._

Make sure she's okay…

_Bam. _Blood was beginning to trickle down my hand.

Looking over my shoulder.. To make sure she's okay…..

_*I saw his face. In the midst of the rushing crowd was the innocent, terrified face of the boy who we'd been searching for. Gitano was nowhere in sight. _

"_Ryan!" I yelled, "Come here buddy!"_

_He was frozen._

_Then everything began to rush by. _

_Ryan's scared expression, needing my help. Gitano with a knife out. Blood, lots of blood on Olivia's neck. Running. Shoving my way through people. Olivia. She's whispering something. She's trying to talk. She's okay. Alive. Olivia's alive. _

"_Go, Elliot!" She urged, "Go, I'm fine, go!"_

_RYAN!_

_I ran._

_Fin was talking now._

_He's dead. Ryan's dead. My fault. More blood.*_

I threw another round of punches at the unforgiving metal, feeling the blood begin to run down my hands, and off the tips of my fingers. My fault.. Everything's my fault.

*_Olivia was practically running to keep up with me in the hall outside the squad room. She's yelling, I'm yelling. Anger is making words fly. I know she's right, she's trying to reason, but my stubbornness and guilt fuel my words._

_I finally burst._

"_I can't do this anymore!" I shouted, turning to leave, "I can't keep looking over my shoulder to make sure you're okay. I need to know you can do your job and not wait for me to come to the rescue!"_

_The pain flashed over Olivia's face. I caused that pain._*

My fault. MY fault. My _fault. _

Olivia's gone.

She could be hurt.

God only knows what Harris and that other creep could be doing to my partner right now.

And I know she would be blaming herself for it.

And it's all my _fault._

**Fin's POV:**

We got nothing on Livy's cell. Straight to voicemail. Her captors must have taken it when the got her. It was off, so there was no way of her answering or for us to track it. It didn't exactly come as a surprise to any of us, but that didn't take away from the frustration.

The whole squad room was as tense and silent as a cemetery at midnight.

Munch was sitting at his desk with his head in his hands after he had gone through the reports of the 12 witnesses from the building. You could hardly call them witnesses, though. All we got from them was 12 different stories on seeing 12 different looking pairs of men walking into a building at 12 different times. Helpful, right? No.

Elliot had taken off to the locker room about 20 minutes ago and hadn't returned. I figured he was just blowing off some steam. That guy was a total head case, but I had to give him props. Olivia, his partner and his best friend, was taken and he was convinced that it's his fault. He was probably coping as well as anyone could in this situation.

I sighed.

"I'm going to go check on El," I said quietly before pushing away from my desk. Munch nodded without looking up.

I made my way up the stairs, through the crib, and to the entrance of the men's locker room.

I knocked lightly, getting no response, as expected, so I pushed through.

Elliot was sitting on the floor, his knees against his chest, and his head cradled between his bleeding hands.

"Stabler," I said, "You okay, man?"

He looked up at me with a defeated look in his eye.

He didn't have to say anything, the look in his eyes told me that he was far from okay.

I looked down at my shoes and shoved my hands in my pockets.

"You remember anything about the second perp's voice?" I asked.

"No," he said, "I already told the captain that. I don't remember anything about his voice! Even if we had suspects, I doubt I could even identify him!"

His voice was raising slightly. I was getting frustrated, too.

"Come on, man!" I said, gripping the doorknob even tighter, "Give me something. Anything. Maybe you can't remember the voice, but was there anything he said? Anything at all!"

Tempers were flaring now.

He pushed him self hurriedly off of the ground, fists clenched at his sides and his eyes closed. He opened his mouth like he was about to argue or yell back, but then his expression changed. The wrinkle in his forehead disappeared and his eyes opened.

"Fish," He whispered, almost inaudibly.

"What?" I asked him. Has he lost his mind? Fish?

"Fish," he said stronger, more confidently. He nodded, "Fishy. He called her Fishy!"

It took a second, but once the realization hit me, it hit me hard.

"Fish," I whispered back, "Matthew Parker."

**Cragen's POV:**

Even from behind the closed door of my office, I could feel the intensity radiating from the other room. The tension was justified, though. One of our own was missing. _Olivia_ was missing.

Although I had never revealed it to anyone else, I had read Olivia's report when she had gotten back from Sealview. It didn't tell me everything, no, but it told me enough. I _Knew _what Harris was capable of. I couldn't bare the thought of what had happened to Olivia at Sealview happening again at this moment. It made me sick to think of the woman who I think of as a daughter to me going through this. I couldn't handle it. _She_ couldn't handle it if-

_Knock, Knock, Knock._

I coughed once, clearing the rising lump in my throat.

"Come in," I said.

The door opened and Fin poked his head in.

"Captain," he said, "I've got something."

**Olivia's POV:**

I woke up from my numb, dreamless, fear-induced sleep when the van jerked to a rough stop. My head slammed painfully into the hard van wall, instantly reminding me of my current situation. I reflexively tried to bring my hands to my now throbbing head, but was stopped when the metal cuffs cut even deeper into my wrists. Before I even got the chance to fight my restraints anymore, I heard the sound of the back van doors open and light poured in the previously pitch black area. I closed my eyes against the harsh, sudden brightness - It looked like we were inside of some sort of storage garage. Again with the clichés.

"Rise and shine!" Parker said cheerfully, climbing up into the van and coming near me.

I quickly pulled myself up out of my slouch and began pulling profusely on the restraints.

"Don't touch me," I begged, looking up at my cuffs, trying to find a weak link, "Don't touch me, please."

I could hear the panic in my voice. I hated it, but I couldn't help it.

He chuckled and Harris smirked from behind him.

"Relax," Parker said with a smile, "That's for later.."

I closed my eyes and cringed away when he leaned across me. Instead of assaulting me, though, he unlocked the cuffs on my wrists. Automatically, I brought my injured hands to my chest, inspecting the damage.

"Ready to go?" Parker said, pulling my attention away from my wounded skin.

Suddenly, it hit me that I was no longer restrained. Ignoring the pain from the multiple injuries on my body, I used my hands to push myself off of the van floor and dove quickly past Parker. Much to my dismay, that's when I ran head on, literally, into the barrel of Harris's gun.

I froze and closed my eyes before letting out a sigh of disparity, hopelessness, and terror. It was at that moment when I realized escape was completely and utterly hopeless.


	14. Chapter 14

_**So, it's finally the weekend! Woo! Time for an update! All of the reviews I've gotten (especially for the last two chapters) have been absolutely.. Just.. Fantastic. Each one takes my breath away, so thank you very much! Also, I want to continue to make you all happy with my story, so I wanted to know if there are any character POVs that I haven't used yet in this fic that you may be interested in reading. Just curious. So, please give me some feedback, and enjoy this chapter! **_

_**Love, Amanda.**_

**Olivia's POV**

I_ froze and closed my eyes before letting out a sigh of disparity, hopelessness, and terror. It was at that moment when I realized escape was completely and utterly hopeless. _

"You probably don't want to try that little stunt again, Olivia." Harris said, tauntingly.

Hearing my name in his voice made me want to puke.

"Okay, okay," I whispered shakily, raising my hands in surrender - one of them still had the silver cuffs hanging from it. It brought me back to the time in the basement when Harris had found me behind that stack of boxes. I knew that the inevitable was there, and I had just wanted it to be as painless as possible. Not that he had went along with that…

He and Parker both smirked at me.

"Come with us," Parker said as each of them grabbed one of my arms and pulled me from the car. Harris used his free hand to slam the van door behind us. I flinched.

"As if she has a choice," He sneered with a sick smile. They began walking, pulling me with them, and that's when I saw it. Two dirty, stingy mattresses stacked on top of each other.

"No," I whispered, rapidly trying to get out of their grips.

I tried to pull my arms away from them, but the two of them were too strong. I planted my feet firmly against the concrete floor, attempting to use my legs as leverage, hoping that the rubber soles of my shoes would provide enough traction to slow them down. But it was no match. They drug me effortlessly, as if I wasn't even putting up a fight.

"Please," I begged, no longer able to stop the absolute panic from seeping into my voice, "Please. Don't do this."

They ignored me.

Tears began to streak down my face and sobs started wracking my body as I continued to try and jerk free.

When we were only a few feet away from the dingy "bed", I used all the energy I could muster up in my body to fight them back, but it was to no avail. I was going to be raped.

**Elliot's POV:**

My stomach lurched at the conclusion Fin had come to. Matthew Parker was Olivia's other captor. Harris's partner in crime.

Parker, as I remembered, had been the guy that Olivia had originally singled out as our perp in her undercover mission. She said he had made quite a few advances at her, and she wouldn't have been surprised if he was also raping inmates.

With that being said, it was obvious that Liv was in some real danger here. Danger that none of us knew how to get her out of.

"What have you got?" Captain said, pulling me from my thoughts. There was a spark of hope in his eye.

"We know who Olivia's other captor is," Fin said.

"Well who is it?" Cragen nearly shouted.

"Matthew Parker," I answered for him, absolute rage and hatred was apparent in my voice.

Cap narrowed his eyes.

"Matthew Parker?" He said, trying to remember, "The other corrupt prison guard from Sealview?"

"Yeah, him," Fin answered hurriedly, "Guy totally had a hard-on for Liv at the prison."

"Well how do you know it's him?" Cragen asked incredulously.

"Elliot said he heard the other guy call Olivia 'fishy'," He explained, "That was a nickname that some of the guards had for the inmates- more specifically, the ones that they _went_ after."

"Does that give us any leads?" Captain said, a little more hope seeping into his voice.

However, Fin put his head down.

"No, sir," He said, avoiding eye contact.

I watched Captain's face as he processed our information. It looked like he was trying to keep his emotions and check, but he couldn't hide the look of absolute fret in his tired, bloodshot eyes.

Finally, he composed his face and blinked away some barely-visible tears.

"Then keep searching," he said before turning away to walk into his office.

**Olivia's POV:**

I was thrown backwards onto the hard mattress, followed immediately Parker crashing onto me. I struggled to catch a breath under his devastating, crushing body weight, throwing my fists wildly as I did so, hoping I would hit him hard enough to slow him down.

"Get her arms!" Parker shouted, and I suddenly felt my weakened limbs being pulled over my head and pinned to the bed.

"NOO!" I shouted, "Stop! Please!"

I tried jerking my sore hands from Harris's death grip, but he only tightened his hold.

I looked straight up into Matthew Parker's eyes, willing him to stop.

"Please," I whispered to him, "I'm begging you. Leave me alone."

"Aww," he said, looking at Harris as the two shared a laugh, "You hear that, Lowy? She's _begging_ us."

I closed my eyes tightly as Harris leaned in, his face only centimeters away from mine.

"Didn't you learn last time?" His hot breath assaulted my neck, "Begging isn't going to get you anywhere. You're _mine._"

I whimpered and tried to shrink away from him.

A sob escaped in the form of a gasp when I felt my buttoned shirt ripped open.

"No!" I shouted, fighting feebly against the seemingly unstoppable powers on top of me.

I began screaming hysterically when Parker's hand made it's way to the top of my jeans, but both of us stopped when Harris suddenly burst out.

"Wait!" He said.

Parker stared -almost glared- at him in confusion.

"Wait," Harris repeated, more calmly now, "I've waited for this moment for too long."

He paused for a moment, looking down into my eyes with the most evil, sadistic look on his face

"I want her first."

**A/N: Gasp! This chapter even terrified **_**me **_**to write! Geez. **

**Please review, more to come soon!**


	15. Chapter 15

**No ownership goes to me, as usual. This is the longest time its taken me to update in a while , and I am soooooo sorry. I haven't had a lick of time (Yeah I know, "excuses, excuses") but to make up for it, I tried to make this chapter a little bit longer . Hopefully you'll like it and forgive me for the like, 3 week update gap! Got a lot of good reviews this last time, and wanted to say thank you for all of them**, **as always! Please continue with your support!**

**Love, Amanda.**

**Olivia's POV:**

The amount of fear that set in my body at Harris's words was almost painful. I knew it really didn't make a difference which one of these two animals "had" me first, but something about Harris going first made me impossibly sicker.

Everything from that moment on happened so overwhelmingly fast that I had a hard time grasping what all happened. One minute I have a very heavy Matthew Parker straddling my torso while Harris maintained his death grip on my wrists, and the next thing I know, I feel my body being smashed, jabbed, and kicked as they struggle to switch places. The crushing weight on my chest was no longer caused by Parker. Instead, I was looking straight into the lacerating eyes of Lowell Harris; the man who had painfully taught me the true meaning of fear.

"What's wrong, Detective?" He said as I jerked away from his on-coming lips, "You don't like our current arrangements?"

I bit back a scream and tried to hold back my tears to no avail.

"I don't think she likes being overpowered, Lowy," Parker said, giving an extra hard squeeze to my already swollen wrists.

This time I couldn't help but let out a cry of pain. They laughed in response.

"Let go of me!" I screamed, trying to find any energy that may be left in me to fight them back. I came up with nothing.

"Shut up!" Harris screamed at me, following up with a hard, disorienting slap to the face. Suddenly, everything was blurry, and going too fast again. I could feel the darkness threatening to overtake me. I struggled to remain conscious.. Although it was futile, I had to keep fighting.

My already ripped shirt was completely torn from my body.

Hands were assaulting every part of me.

I didn't feel my jeans come off until they were already to my ankles.

"No.."

Laughing.

Kissing.

` The sound of a zipper.

"Don't.."

Hands on my legs.

Pulling.

"Please, no.."

Pain. Darkness.

**Elliot's POV:**

Six hours. Six long, agonizing hours Olivia has been missing, and we had nothing.

To someone outside of the case, six hours may not seem like much, but when you're in the position I'm in right now, six hours is eternity. Those creeps took my partner. They took _my Olivia._ We all know what Parker and Harris are capable of. We know what they can do, and _will_ do, if we don't get to them in time. All of which could be done in well under six hours…

No. Stop. I can't go there. I can't let myself think about what could be happening right now. To Olivia.. _My _Olivia.

They better not touch her. They better not lay one hand on her or they are dead. Screw the law, screw the consequences, I'd kill them. Period.

All at once, the raging mixture of emotions inside spilled over. I wound my fist back to hit the locker, but before I could even finish the motion, a voice startled me from behind.

"Elliot," Captain said firmly.

I turned around to face him, clenching my jaw and trying to control my heavy breathing.

"Elliot," He repeated once he had gotten my attention, "My office. Now."

My breathing was getting better, but I noticed my fist was still raised, ready to strike.

"_Before_ you damage any more of the state's property," Captain added as he turned and walked out.

I gave myself a moment to compose the rage that was still continuing to bubble inside of me, and then finally made my way out the door of the locker room and down the of the crib.

I walked passed Munch and Fin who were looking at the computer screens and files with more determination than I'd ever seen on either of their faces.

"Got anything?" I asked, as I walked by.

"No."

"Figures," I muttered and kept walking. I saw them both snap their heads up in annoyance at me, but I ignored them and kept walking.

When I walked into Cragen's office, he was standing, resting against his desk with his arms folded. A deep line of stress marked his forehead.

"I'll pay for the damages to the lockers," I said quietly, not making eye contact with him.

He waited a few seconds, and then walked around his desk to sit in his chair.

"This isn't about the lockers, Elliot," he said, "Why don't you have a seat."

I looked up, taken by surprise.

"What's it about, then?" I asked, ignoring his offer to sit.

The deep worry line on his head got even deeper. As he folded his hands on his desk and sighed.

"Elliot," he began, "I don't think I should keep you on this case."

I froze in absolute shock and rage.

"What?" I snapped sharply.

"Elliot.." He began, but I interrupted him.

"No, Captain! No. You're not taking me off of this case," I sounded very much like a child arguing with their parent, but I was far too angry to care.

"You're too emotionally involved," Captain said firmly. I could tell he didn't plan on budging on this one.

"Too emotionally involved? _Too emotionally involved?_," I practically yelled, "Cap, she's my partner, has been for over 10 years! You can't honestly expect me to be indifferent about her kidnapping! Of course I am getting emotional about this, but if anything, my _emotional involvement_ will help us get this find her faster!"

"Well that's not what you've been showing me so far," He said.

I paused, trying to tame my anger once again.

"What are you saying?" I inquired, narrowing my eyes.

He sighed and closed his eyes.

"Look, Elliot, your little pitty parties in the locker room aren't helping us find her any faster. I need you down here working to find her. But I'm afraid that you've shown me you're incapable of that. So unless you have a major change, I'm throwing you off of this case, is that understood?"

My posture dropped. I knew he was right. Blaming myself wouldn't help Olivia now. I could save that for later. Right now, my partner needed me. Just how she's _been _needing me.

Finally, I raised my eyes to his.

"I'll change," I said, "I promise."

As I turned to walk away, his voice, more sympathetic and soft this time, stopped me.

"Elliot," he said, "we all miss her. We're all scared. But in order for us to find her, she needs us to be on top of our game right?"

"Right," I said and solemnly walked to the office door.

As soon as my hand touched the knob, however, the door was yanked open by Fin waving a file printed off sheet of paper in his hand.

"Cap, we got something," He said.

Cragen's face immediately came to life as he pushed himself up from his chair.

"What is it?" He asked urgently.

"A list of family members here in the city of both Parker and Harris. I'm gonna go talk to some of them, see what they know."

Captain was about to send him on his way when I interrupted.

"I'm going, too," I said. It wasn't a question or a suggestion. It was a demand.

The Captain gave me a weary, are-you-sure face and I responded with a look of determination.

"Okay, go," he said dismissing us, "and put the pressure on these families. We need a lead."

"Yes sir," We said as we headed out of his office.

**Olivia's POV:**

I had slipped in and out of consciousness while Harris and Parker raped me. I don't remember all of it, but believe me, I remembered more than I wanted to. Now, I sat alone in the cold, dark corner of the bed in the parking garage, one of my ankles cuffed to a pipe going along the bottom of the wall. They had gone out in the van a couple of hours ago.

So here I sit, half naked- I had managed to get my bra and panties back on- and wrapped my arms around my shaking body.

I didn't even realize I was crying until I saw and felt the small puddles of moisture gathering on my arms from my falling tears. The silent tears slowly evolved into quiet, pain-filled cries, and eventually into choked sobbing.

I looked down at my bruised and broken body. I was so ashamed.

I had let them take over my body, I hadn't been strong enough to fight them off.

My head hung in shame, fear, and whatever other emotions I was feeling.

Violated was a good word to describe it.

For the next few minutes- or maybe it was hours, who knows, who cares- I could do nothing but sit huddled into a pathetic ball, trying to compact myself into a small enough being that maybe I would just disappear. The tears refused to stop coming, and each sob hurt more and more… both physically and emotionally.

In the dark silence of this stupid storage garage, I was left alone to my thoughts, which were not good ones.

These included things like _What are those monsters going to do with me when they got back? Did they bring 'friends'? How long have I been gone? Were they going to kill me? Are the guys searching for me? Do they have any leads?_

I stopped at that thought, and let out another agonized sob. What were they guys going to think?

When-or if- they show up here, I'll be sitting in this pathetic hunch of nothing, exposed and sobbing. I've spent my entire career trying to earn respect from the rest of my colleagues, not only as a woman, but as an individual; to show them that I can be equal to them, that I can hold my own on the streets, in a fight, or in self defense.

When Elliot said those hurtful words to me during the Gitano case, I don't think he had a clue how much they had crushed me. I don't blame him, though, for wanting a partner he could depend on. He needed someone strong and able. Not someone who lets herself be taken away, raped, and broken down by two lowlife scumbags.

A part of me knows that Elliot will understand that I fought, that I fought my absolute hardest, but still couldn't do it. That same part of me wants to tell myself that Elliot would never blame me for this, that he would understand that I didn't want it, that I would have never asked for any of this.

But another hateful part of me tells me that Elliot, along with everyone else, will be repulsed at me. They will know I'm weak and they wont ever trust me. Any and all respect I have earned over the past ten years will be down the drain in an instant.

My head snapped up and a gasp escaped my swollen lips as I heard the sound of tires crunching on gravel. The knot in my stomach got tighter and I pulled myself into an impossibly smaller ball. I couldn't help how my shaking increased and how my lips automatically began to chant out begging sounds.

"No, no, no, no, no, no," I repeated in a quiet whisper.

At this point, I don't think I could have taken it if they violated me again. Not now, not ever. Right now, I was too afraid to feel any anger or sadness, just fear, plain and simple.

The garage door squealed open slowly, revealing the light into the room. It looked like we were out in the middle of nowhere. There was nothing but a field of grass behind the building. That, and a narrow, stone driveway.

I shrunk against the wall as their van pulled in and parked about 20 feet away from me. I flinched at every noise: the engine cutting, the doors opening, the flick of a light switch that was turned on from above, slam of the garage door as they pulled it down.

Finally, they turned their attention to me for the first time since their entrance.

"Hey, fishy," Parker said, almost casually.

I closed my eyes at the sound of his voice.

"How you feeling?" He continued.

I cursed myself as I let them see the tears streaming down my face.

"Sore?" Harris said with a huge smirk on his face, "I guess I was kind of rough. Don't worry, though, you liked it."

I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to glare at him, but I couldn't even bring myself to look into his eyes.. Pathetic.

"It's a shame," Parker said with false sadness, "that we couldn't keep her awake for the whole thing."

"I understand," Harris said, "I am pretty tiring in bed."

He winked.

He had the nerve to _wink_ at me.

All of a sudden, I couldn't help myself.

"You raped me, you creep! You forced yourself on me, I didn't like it! I would never like being in bed with_ you._ You couldn't even handle me yourself, you had to make your _friend_ help hold me down because you aren't strong enough. You're weak! You are a weak little man, and that's why you beat up on women! You're sick!"

All of that came out in one long, loud, continuous rant that I regretted the second it left my mouth. Harris's smile disappeared momentarily, a flicker of emotion that I couldn't identify flashing in his eyes. I can honestly say I'd never been so scared in my life.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, please," I began, "No, please, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. Please, please don't hurt me.."

The hateful glare remained in his eyes, but his lips curled up into a sadistic smirk.

"You think I'm weak, huh?" His voice was deeper and gruffer than usual, "You think I'm WEAK?"

I flinched at his suddenly raised voice. Parker stood by watching with amused anticipation as Harris stormed over to the back doors of the car and pulled something out.

I was horrified when I saw that the object he had was a baseball bat.

"Please, please, please," I chanted. Once again, absolute fear took over.

"I'll show you who's weak." He said evilly as he began walking towards me.

**Again guys, sorry for the long wait, but I hope this made up for it! Next chapter, we'll see if the team can get any leads from the pshycos' families. ****J**

**Don't forget, reviews make my life! (cough cough, and make me want to quickly update! Cough cough.) **

**J**


	16. Chapter 16

This is a pretty quick update (yay), but I figured you guys deserve it! After all… I did finally reach 100 reviews! :D Ahh! That is so exciting, I never expected my story to go this far. It's exciting for me, because I am caught up in this story right along with the rest of you! Sometimes my own story suprises ME. So I want to thank you all as always for reviewing. Each one makes me so happy; you have no idea. (:

Elliot's POV:

**Fin and I hurried downstairs into the parking lot and got in the car.**

"**I'm driving," Fin said.**

**I didn't argue. Arguing would only waste time, and wasting time was not something I was willing to do with Olivia missing. **

**We were silent as we drove through the busy, afternoon streets, silently cursing every red stoplight we came to. Tensions had been pretty thick between Fin and I for a while. We had never really been friends from the moment he came to our squad, but things had gotten even worse lately; ever since he and Liv got back from Sealview. **

**After they had returned, neither one of them had been the same. They were both quieter, more alert. They always had a look of disturbance in their eyes. What really bothered me were the looks of **_**knowing**_** that they shared with each other from time to time. That's what it was. Fin **_**knew.**_** He had seen her down there, he had saved her, he understood. Which is all I had wanted to do for her. All that I couldn't do.**

**I always wondered what **_**I**_** would have done if I had been there and found them in the basement. It was hard to think about. Even the mental image of Liv chained up and crying at the mercy of some disgusting, power-obsessed pervert made me want to puke. I highly doubt that any amount of self control would have stopped me from ripping his head off. I don't know how Fin controlled himself.**

"**I would have killed him," I blurted out.**

**Fin jumped a little bit at the sudden sound of my voice, then looked over at me briefly with his eyebrows drawn in.**

"**What are you talking about?" He asked.**

"**Harris," I said, my fists clenching at his name, "I would have killed him if I were the one who had found them.. In the basement…"**

**Fin rolled his eyes and sighed. I knew that he didn't like to talk about this particular subject. I almost expected him to just ignore me, but then he spoke up.**

"**No you wouldn't have," he said quietly, looking straight ahead.**

**I blinked a couple times and looked at him in complete astonishment. **

"**Yes, I would have," I insisted.**

"**No," He countered firmly. He let out another deep sigh before continuing, "El, you didn't see her. Her eyes were so… wild. Lost. Terrified. I'd never seen anyone so traumatized before. How was I supposed to stand there and make her watch a brutal, cold blooded murder? That would have only made it worse for her. So unless you are an even bigger selfish jerk than I thought, you would have done the exact same thing as me."**

**I was quiet. I had never thought of it that way. Fin had a great point.**

**I had always seen Olivia as a strong, tough, hard cop. I never saw her as Fin was describing her; I'd never seen the broken, battered, scared version of Liv… So maybe -no, definitely- if I had seen her in that state, I wouldn't have been able to do anything that might make it worse for her, no matter how much I wanted Harris to suffer.**

**It was only a few minutes later when we pulled up to a small, low class house in a poor neighbor hood on the west side of Manhattan. The computer says that this was the home of Matthew Parker's 65 year old mother, but from the looks of the outside, the house was abandoned and should be condemned. The weeds in the yard were well over a foot or two, the siding and shutters on the house were practically falling off.**

"**I bet **_**this**_** lady's going to be a ray of sunshine," Fin said sarcastically.**

**We stepped out of the car and headed up to the front door, trying not to trip on the cracked, uneven sidewalk. When we got to the door, I knocked carefully, afraid that if pounded too hard, the entire house would fall apart. **

"**She ain't answering," Fin said after a few moments. I , too, was getting impatient.**

**I knocked again, a little harsher, but was interrupted by a rough, high pitched, screeching voice. **

"**Hold on a minute, would ya?" She yelled. She opened the door a few seconds later and Fin and I both cringed at her appearance. **

**She was short, sickly thin, and wrinkled. There were dark bags under her bloodshot eyes and her graying hair was an absolute mess. **

"**Mrs. Parker?" Fin asked incredulously.**

"**Who wants to know?" She barked.**

"**Detectives Stabler and Tutuola," I said, flashing my badge, "We're here to talk to you about your son, Matthew Parker."**

"**What about him?" she asked, putting her hand on her hip.**

"**Well, we were hoping we could talk to you about that inside-" **

"**No," she interrupted me, "I ain't letting no dirty cops in my house. Tell me what you want out here."**

"**Okay," I said, "Do you know your son's whereabouts?" **

"**No," she snapped, "I ain't seen that piece of trash in days."**

"**Piece of trash?" Fin asked.**

"**You heard me," she said with an attitude, "he ain't done nothing good for me."**

"**So you have no idea where your 'piece of trash' might be right now?" I asked her, putting a little more pressure in my words.**

"**Didn't I just tell you that ?" she said, "You gonna tell me what he did?"**

**I looked at Fin and then back at her.**

"**Matthew Parker kidnapped my partner," I finally said, "That's a serious offence. Now if you know where he is and you don't tell us, you'll be in just as much trouble as he is when we find him."**

**She smirked.**

"**Like I said, I don't know. But when you find him, tell him he better get me the money he owes me."**

**With that she slammed the door in our faces. **

"**Well, that was a waste of time," I said as we turned around and stepped off of the ratty, old front porch. We were halfway to our cruiser when an old, beat up car pulled up and parked behind ours. A young, thin, tired looking woman stepped out of the drivers side holding a pharmacy bag in her hand. **

"**Excuse me," She shouted to us, "Can I help you?"**

**We both pulled out our badges on cue as she approached us in the yard.**

"**Detective Stabler, this is my colleague, Fin Tutuola, we were just speaking with the woman who lives here concerning an ongoing investigation," I said, "May I ask your relationship to the owner of this house?"**

"**This is my mom's house," she said.**

**Both Fin and I were taken aback. **

"**Your mom?" I asked, looking from Fin and back to her, "You're the sister of Matthew Parker?"**

**Her eyes closed and she let out an annoyed sigh.**

"**What did he do now?" She asked.**

"**We didn't have any hits on Matthew's siblings in the system?" Fin asked, ignoring her question. **

"**That's because I'm the only one in this dead-beat family who hasn't done something to be put **_**into**_** the system," she said simply, "What did he do, and what are you doing talking to my mom about him?"**

"**Would you mind coming down to the station with us for a few moments?" Fin asked.**

**She looked slightly hesitant, glancing down the bag in her hand, but eventually nodded.**

"**Yeah," rubbing her tired eye, "I'll go, just let me give my mom her medicine. I'll meet you in the car."**

**Olivia's POV:**

"Please don't!" I screamed as he came toward me, holding the bat over his shoulder.

I tried pulling as hard as I could against the cuff on my ankle, but it wouldn't budge.

Harris was now standing right over me.

_Smack._

I'd never felt any greater pain than when the heavy, aluminum bat made contact with my leg.

"Who's the weak one now?" Harris screamed, "Huh?"

_Slam._

I screamed out and grabbed my leg.

"Ow! Stop, please!" I begged. My leg was throbbing. I was pretty sure it was broken. Tears were rolling endlessly down my face.

"Please, I'm sorry!" I yelled, looking into Harris's eyes, hoping to see an ounce of mercy. I saw none.

"Don't you EVER talk to me that way again!" He screamed, swinging the bat again, only this time he hit my other leg.

I was now gasping in pain, screaming in agony. I couldn't handle the blinding pain that was echoing through my body.

"Please," I choked out.

He didn't listen. He kept hitting me, mostly in my legs.

After what seemed like forever, he stopped. The pain.. It was unbearable.

"Hope you learned your lesson," Harris spit at me.

My stomach began to tighten. Nausea was rising in my throat from the intense pain. Rising, and rising and rising, and ..

I threw up the contents of my stomach over the edge of the mattress, wishing that the pain would leave my body with the vomit.

"Disgusting," Harris scoffed at me, standing over me with labored breathing.

He threw the bat down onto the concrete. It would have made me jump if it weren't for the searing, intense pain that was taking all of my focus.

"You can do what you want with her," Harris said, still looking at me with disgusted rage, "I'm going out for a while."

Parker chuckled a cold, merciless laugh.

"Yes sir," He mock saluted.

With that, Harris walked out the back door of the garage, slamming the metal door behind him.

I ignored Parker's presence as tried to tend to my severely injured leg - one of which was still painfully chained to a pole.

I could already see the bruises beginning to form right below my knees and on my upper thighs. After a few minutes of silence, Parker walked over to where I was sitting and crouched down next to me.

When I looked up from my leg and saw him, I flinched at the sudden closeness.

"Please," I whimpered as an automatic reflex.

He smirked and extended his hand out to my body.

"No worries, sweet thing," he said as he ran the back of his hand over my jaw. His sweaty palm continued it's path downward, over my bare skin and all the way to my leg. I cringed in pain as his hands ran themselves over my delicate bruises. Finally, when he reached my ankle, he pulled a set of keys from his back pocket and undid the lock.

I looked up at him momentarily with a look of confusion.

"I don't think we have to worry about you trying to escape anytime soon," he responded, pointing at my injured legs. I grimaced in pain and frustration. He was right.

"But, while you're here, I might has well make your stay as .. Pleasurable as possible."

The sadistic, hungry look in his eyes told me exactly what he meant.

"No, please," I begged, "Not right now, not now. It hurts so bad."

He laughed at me as he began undoing the buttons on his uniform shirt.

I backed myself against the wall, feeling as pathetic and exposed as ever.

The smile never left his face as he pulled his shirt from his body and then undid his jeans.

I was sobbing again, wanting to run, but knowing I couldn't because of my injuries. So as he climbed onto the bed, lightly shoving me down onto my back, I did the only thing I could do. I shut my mind down and completely detached.

I knew this was it. They had officially broken me.

**Elliot's POV: **

Mellissa Parker, the sister of Matthew Parker, sat across from Fin and I in the interrogation room, wrapping her arms around herself nervously.

"Where's your brother?" I started right in, unwilling to waste an ounce of time.

"That, I couldn't tell you," she said weakly, "I haven't seen him in months. Fortunately."

I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Is there some sort of bad blood between you two?" I inquired.

Suddenly, she looked up at me through her heavy, tired eyelids with an unreadable expression.

"You have no idea," she whispered hoarsely.

"What do you mean by that?" Fin asked, jotting down some of what she was saying on his notepad.

Mellissa wrapped her arms even more around herself and looked down at her lap. A strand of her messy hair fell out from behind her ear and covered her face from our view. Suddenly, she looked a whole lot like.. A victim.

"Mellissa," I said quietly, leaning forward, "What happened between you and Matthew."

She shook her head slightly, tears beginning to form in her eyes.

"Mellissa," I said again, "It's okay, you can tell me."

Again, no response. I was trying to keep calm and be patient, like we were trained to do in this unit, but it was nearly impossible to do with Olivia missing..

"Was he… inappropriate with you?" I asked.

"No," she snapped, quickly facing up to meet my eyes. "No," she repeated.

"Mellissa, if he did something to-"

"No," she said again, cutting me off, "It wasn't.. he didn't.."

She was struggling to get the right words out. After taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, she tried again.

"Matthew didn't.. rape me.. It was his friend," she whispered shakily.

"His friend?" Fin asked, "How long ago was this?"

"Ah, it was years ago… we were in high school. I was a freshman," she whispered, "Matthew and Lowell were Juniors.."

Suddenly, Fin and I looked up at her wearing identical, baffled faces.

"Wait.." I said, "Lowell? Lowell _Harris."_

Her eyes closed and she shook slightly at the mention of his name.

"Yeah," she said, letting anger slip into her voice, "He raped me. Multiple times. Matt knew about it.. And he did nothing to stop it."

"Did you report it?" I asked, still shocked at her confession.

She shook her head.

"No," she said, "No, I couldn't take one more person not believing me. My own brother defended him.. I could only imagine what the police would have said."

I nodded. That was one of the more common reasons that victims don't report their rape.

It was quiet while Fin and I both took down some quick notes.

"I wasn't the only one.." She whispered shakily, "I wasn't the only… victim."

I raised my eyebrows.

"Who else?" Fin prodded gently.

She shrugged.

"Girls from my high school," she said simply, "Girls from the neighborhood. Take your pick."

"How do you know?" I asked.

"I'd heard the stories of some of the girls at my school," she said, "There were multiple reports of rape during Matt and Lowell's Junior and Senior years. Those two used to stay out all hours of the night. Sometimes they'd go away on weekend trips and no one would know where they were. All I knew is that they came home completely wasted. The day after, another girl would be absent from school. Sometimes for weeks, sometimes for good. It didn't take long for me to catch on.."

"You knew that your brother and his friend were a rapist tag team in high school and you never reported it?" Fin asked, accusingly.

"I was afraid!" Mellissa countered loudly, "You don't understand! You have no idea what he did to me! What he would have done to me if I told anyone…"

She broke into sobs.

I looked over at Fin, who looked quite regretful for blaming her.

I sighed.

"Mellissa," I said, bringing her out of her hysteria, "I need to know the names of some of his high school victims. Can you give us something? Please?"

I waited as patiently as I could while she blinked away the tears and put on a thoughtful face. My hand was gripping the side of the table so hard I thought it might break off.

Finally, Mellissa looked up at us.

"Karen Brady," She said through her tears, "My age. She was an ex girlfriend of Matthew's. She dropped out of school our sophomore year, a couple of days after my brother and Lowell got back from one of their weekend trips. She cut off all ties with anyone at our school, but I heard she stayed in the city. Maybe you can still find her here."

"Thank you," I said, scribbling the last of the notes down, "You did great."

And I dashed out of the room.

_One step closer to my partner._

_I'm coming, Liv. Just hold on…_


	17. Chapter 17

**Elliott's POV**

Karen Brady lived in a town right outside of Manhattan, so it didn't take very long for us to get to her house. We had been able to get a hit on her address because she was in the system from when she reported her rape in high school.

"You think we'll get something from this one?" Fin asked as we pulled onto her street.

I nodded sharply.

"Mellissa Parker said that Karen dropped out of school right after Harris and her brother had gotten back from a weekend trip, right?" I asked, looking straight ahead at the road. I was driving this time.

"Yeah," Fin said, "but what's that mean to us?"

"It means," I said, "That they probably had Karen with them the whole weekend. They had to have taken her somewhere to keep and hide her…"

"..and that's where they could be hiding Liv," Fin completed my thought. I nodded.

"Exactly."

We were now pulling up to the house that matched Karen Brady's address.

"Let's pray this gets us somewhere," Fin said as he got out of the car.

"Amen," I mumbled as I joined him.

We walked up the neatly paved pathway and up to the dark, wooden door. I knocked twice.

After a few moment's hesitation, we heard the sound of multiple dead bolts being unlocked and the door swung open. When it did, both of our mouths dropped open in shock.

The young man who stood in front of us looked to be about 18 or 19 years old, over six foot tall, and was a spitting image of Lowell Harris.

"Can I help you?" He asked politely.

"Uhm, yes," I said, gathering my composure, "I am Detective Stabler and this is Detective Tutuola, with the NYPD. We're looking for a Karen Brady? Does she live here?"

The boy nodded.

"Sure," he said, "That's my mom. Why? What happened? Did she do something wrong?"

"No," I said, "But if she's home, we really need to talk to her. It's important."

The young man hesitated in the doorway for a few seconds.

"Yeah," He said at last, "she works from home. Come inside, I'll go get her."

Fin and I stepped through the door and closed it behind us. As the boy walked away, we exchanged a glance.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Fin asked in a quiet whisper.

"I'm thinking that we just looked at Harris's mirror image," I replied.

The floor creaked as I heard someone coming down the stairs. We looked up to see a thin woman in her mid thirties coming down the stairs wearing jeans and a tee shirt.

"Detectives?" she asked, "My son said you needed to talk with me?"

She had made her way down the stairs and was standing right in front of us.

"Yes," I replied, "Do you mind if we sit down for this?"

Her face dropped a little. I could tell she was anxious.

"Uhm.. Okay," she said quietly. She then led us down a long hallway and into a living area. We took our seats on the two chairs across from the couch she sat on.

As much as I wanted to take this conversation slowly, the constant idea of my partner and best friend being hurt- or worse - right now hurried me along. So I with a deep breath, I started right in.

"Do you know anyone by the name of Lowell Harris or Matthew Parker?" I asked.

Fin turned to me quickly. He was surprised at how quickly I was rushing the victim into the conversation, but at the same time, I know he knew where I was coming from.

Karen noticeably stiffened when I said the names.

"I-I.." She struggled.

I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees.

"Mrs. Brady," I said gently, "This is so important. Now, we know that something happened with those two men when you were in high school."

I watched with sympathy as the tears that had been pooling in her eyes finally spilled over.

"Yeah," She choked out through her tears.

"They raped you." I said. It was more of a statement than a question.

She nodded.

"Okay," I said, "And when you reported it years ago, you told the police that it happened at a party?"

Karen automatically turned her gaze toward her lap.

"That wasn't true.. Was it?" I asked.

She sniffled and wiped a tear, but didn't answer me.

"Karen, you're not in any trouble," Fin assured her in the most gentle voice he had, "We just need to know what really happened."

Slowly, Karen looked up from her lap, her gaze still not quite meeting our eyes.

"They took me somewhere," she whispered Shakily, "Somewhere far away.."

"How far away?" Fin asked as I jotted down her answers.

She sniffled again.

"Uhm, about three hours maybe?" She said.

My stomach dropped and tightened. _Liv was way too far away…_

I tried not to make my stress evident as I continued with the questioning.

"Can you give us any clues that might help us find where this place is?" I asked.

Her answer surprised me.

"I know where it's at," she said almost sharply, "It- it was an old storage barn. I-I recognize it because my dad used to drive me past it on the way to the family farm. I used to pass it everyday."

Bingo.

"Mrs. Brady," I said, scooting to the edge of my seat, "Where? Where is this place at?"

She didn't even have to think about it.

"It's in upstate New York. Right outside of a small town." She gave me the address of the family farm and told me the storage barn is only two or three miles back from there.

"Thank you," I said, rushing to get out the door and to Olivia as soon as possible.

"Your welcome," she said quietly, wiping the last of her tears away, "I hope you find him."

_Me too, _I thought.

I was already out the door.

**Olivia's POV:**

I didn't even bother wiping away the silent tears as Matthew Parker crawled off of me. He leaned against the wall, struggling to catch his breath. He looked over at me and winked.

"That was amazing, baby," he said as he rubbed his hand against my leg. I flinched and cried some more.

Lying here, flat on my back and sobbing, made me realize that this was a whole new level of pathetic, but I couldn't do anything about it. I had to admit it: I was terrified. For so many reasons.

At the top of my list was the fact that they could kill me. I knew they could; it was undeniable. If they wanted me dead, they had plenty of ways to accomplish it. I hated this feeling of weakness and vulnerability more than anything, but as I said, there was nothing I could do. I was weak from fighting, from deprivation of food and water, and from fear. I was dizzy from pain and my vision blurred as darkness constantly threatened to take over. Right now, the offer didn't sound too bad…

I remained still as Parker stood up and began to put his clothes back on, the stream of silent tears from my eyes never ceasing.

That's when I heard a noise outside of the garage door.

_Oh no, he's back. _I thought.

I began shaking furiously and my tears turned into sobs. I rolled over on my side, trying to cover as much of my exposed body as possible. Harris was coming, he was still probably angry, and he might even kill me this time.

I watched in fear as the heavy garage door was pushed open, slowly filling the dark room with a bright light. When my eyes adjusted, however, I couldn't believe what I saw.

**Elliot's POV**

The speed gauge on the cruiser was pushing 120 miles per hour, but it wasn't going nearly as fast as my mind was. Fin sat in the passenger seat, tightly gripping the sides of the car, but didn't object once. I knew he wanted to get to Olivia just as fast as I did.

We could hear the our backup's sirens blaring behind us, struggling to keep up with our pace. We had been driving for over two hours now. We hadn't been going this fast the whole time, but once we hit the back roads, I floored it, unwilling to waste another second. Images of Olivia flooded my mind, forcing my foot down even harder on the gas. Olivia bruised. Olivia beaten. Olivia…

Honestly, I was terrified of what I would see when I got to her. Still, I continued to push the car to the max.

I was already imagining the things I would do to Harris and Parker when I found them… they would beg for mercy. They would pay for even thinking of touching _my_ Olivia. I remembered what Fin had said about being unable to kill Harris after seeing Olivia's traumatized face, but at this point, I don't know if even that could stop me. My anger was boiling higher than ever before.

I felt my stomach tighten as I spotted a huge, gray barn in the distance.

"There," I growled.

Fin followed my gaze and spotted it too.

I jerked the car forward, making it go impossibly faster. I didn't even wait until we hit the stone driveway, I just turned the steering wheel and cut right through the tall grass.

We jerked forward as I slammed on the brakes dangerously close to the wall and wasted no time ripping our seatbelts off and jumping out of the car.

Fin tossed me my a bullet proof vest and we strapped up as our back up began to file in quickly behind us.

"What's the plan, Detective?" One of the younger uniformed officers asked as he jumped out of the car.

I pulled out my gun, loaded it, and looked him straight in the eye.

"Get my partner," I said before turning and running to the barn.

I felt Fin's presence beside me as we made our way around the back. That's when we saw the only apparent entrance to the barn; a huge garage door.

"Help," I said, running to the door. Fin was beside me again in an instant.

I reached over to unlatch a rusty, metal latch on the bottom and it turned easily with a satisfying clang.

"Push," I ordered. And we did. We pushed upwards until the garage door slid all the way up, and I saw her: naked, crying, bleeding. Everything stopped. _Time_ stopped.

Our eyes met instantly, as if she had expected me to be standing right there. The look on her face pierced my heart from all the way across the room.

"Liv!" I yelled as I ran to my broken, scared partner.

I knelt beside the dirty, thin mattress and her eyes squinted as she struggled to see past the bright light.

"El?" I could barely hear her voice croak.

Suddenly, I knew what Fin had meant about when he found her in that basement. My heart shattered with one look at her. It was obvious that the trauma had put her into shock.

I barely noticed Fin while he ran past me to handcuff a half-dressed Matthew Parker.

"Liv," I said again, hearing an unfamiliar thickness and caution in my voice, "It's me."

I pulled off my jacket in one swift motion and covered her still body.

"Oh, Liv," I said, brushing her hair back from her face, "I'm so sorry."

She looked back at me with her beautiful, brown eyes that showed nothing but fear and pain. There were makeup-smearing tears rolling down her cheeks and purple bruises covering every inch of exposed skin.

All of a sudden, I couldn't help it, I just scooped her up into my arms and held her to my chest.

"I need a medic over here!" I shouted over my shoulder. Instantaneously, a group of paramedics who had followed us here were at our side, helping Olivia.

As they began to lift her away from my arms, she tightened her tiny, fragile fists around the fabric of my shirt. The already broken shards of my heart shattered all over again. It took every ounce of power in me to keep myself from just lifting her up and running away with her so no one could take her away. But I knew that would not help her.

"Livia," I whispered, looking down into her panic stricken eyes, "You have to let go so the doctors can help you. I'll go in the ambulance with you, okay? I won't leave you."

She gripped me tighter for a few seconds before finally submitting to the pulling hands of the paramedics. They lifted her broken body onto the prepared gurney and rolled her to the ambulance. I automatically jumped up and headed after them, but Fin's voice stopped me.

"Elliot!" he shouted. I spun around.

The look in his eyes told me that it was not good news.

"We've swept the whole place," he said, "There's no sign of Harris."

My stomach dropped.

I looked over briefly at a pair of uniformed officers taking a handcuffed Parker to their cruiser and then back at Fin. I didn't know what to say. This was obviously not a good thing, but right now the only thing that deserved my undivided attention was my sobbing, terrified best friend.. I shot Fin one final look before turning to jump in the back of the ambulance.

**Harris's POV:**

I wiped a thick layer of sweat away from my forehead as I approached the barn. I had taken a walk to cool my anger down. That little whore sure did have a way of firing me up.. In more than one way.

I looked around at my surroundings; a place I had become very familiar with, ever since I was a teenager. My mind flashed back to countless victims that I had brought here, bringing a sly smile to my face. I was so proud of the work I had done. I must have been truly good at this considering I had never been caught. I had been a perfect planner; choosing an isolated area such as this one to take my women - no one would ever come looking here in this abandoned place. I chuckled as I continued to walk toward the barn, toward my victim.

Suddenly, the deathly silence of the back country was interrupted by the distant sounds of sirens.

Police sirens. Oh crap.

I made a quick dash into a thick wall of trees and hid so that I could see out. I watched in absolute anger as about 3 cop cars came rushing through the grass and to the building where Parker and the Olivia were.

"No!" I whispered in frustration. I kicked the tree beside me with as much force as I could manage without making a noise. Then I ducked down in a ditch so I would remain unseen, beginning to plan my escape.

Looks like Parker is on his own, because as soon as these cops leave, I am out of here.

**A/N: *Cue the angelic choir* Hallelujah! Olivia has been rescued! **

**I really tried to work hard on this chapter because I know it's the moment you've all been waiting for, and I severely, severely hope I didn't let you down :/ I'm actually quite nervous about your feedback, but I DO want to hear it! Please please please check back for updates!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Bit of a short chapter this time, my apologies. It is just something to hold you all over until the next chapter. Kind of like a transition chapter. As you can figure, the tone of the story is going to be a little different now that Olivia has been found. Now, the story is going to focus more on the aftermath and healing process. Along with the searching for Harris, of course… So sit back and enjoy this chapter, I hope you like it. Thanks for reviewing (: Ps, I wrote some of this in the middle of the night when I was super tired, so I hope it doesn't seem awful! :/**

**Elliot's POV:**

On the ride to the hospital, Olivia was quiet. Silent, actually.

She hadn't said a word to me, or even looked at me, since I had gotten in the ambulance with her. Her eyes were open, leaking an occasional stream of tears, but they were downcast and never made contact with mine. I hated seeing her crying, strapped to a gurney and looking so vulnerable. I hated Harris and Parker, and myself, and the situation in general. As I sat here, staring down at the broken body of Olivia Benson, I realized how much I had truly failed her. The guilt that rose up in me was immense.

Without my permission, my hand reached out to touch hers.. She jumped, making the guilt worse, and violently jerked her hand away from me.

I looked to her eyes for an explanation or an apology - not that I deserved or wanted one, but because that's typical Olivia behavior- but she kept her face angled away from me, closing her eyes as a fresh batch of tears rolled down her face.

I slowly withdrew my hand, trying to compose the shock and hurt in my expression. Did she just pull away from me?

_Relax_, I told myself_, You know this is typical victim behavior._

But I couldn't keep the other possibilities out of my head.

Was she mad at me? She had every right to be. I had let her down and broken my promise to protect her.. Multiple times. I'd let _this_ happen to her. How could she ever forgive me of that?

Was she afraid of me? It was possible. If that were the case, however, it would build monuments to my current state of self loathing. The very thought of Olivia being actually afraid of me made me feel sick to my stomach.

I wanted to reach out to her again, hoping that it was only her automatic reflex that had made her pull away the first time, but I was terrified that she might shrink away again. I don't think I could have taken that.

So for the remainder of the ride, I watched over my battered partner, feeling my heart break with every second that passed.

**Olivia's POV:**

Upon Elliot and Fin's arrival, I had been so overtaken with their presence that I had barely had time to register that I was being rescued. I was safe. Initially, I had thought I was imagining it, dreaming it. But once I was over the relative shock of their arrival, the relief washed over me in waves, as Elliot held me to his chest. I was so happy to see him, feel him, have him there.

Now, lying flat on the hard gurney in the back of the ambulance, with Elliot staring pitifully down at me, the shame was enough to make me want to curl up in a ball and die. I could barely move against the thick, heavy gurney straps and there was nothing covering me except for a thin hospital sheet. And of course Elliot's jacket, which had been placed over top of the sheet and did not cover very much of me.

All I could do was lie there helplessly, sob, and avoid Elliot's pitying eyes. I bobbed my head the to the side, letting my temple fall against the barely-there padding that the gurney provided. The never ending stream of tears that came relentlessly from my eyes only made matters worse.

A part of me just wished that the ambulance would take a wrong turn off the side of a bridge or something. It would save me from facing the humiliation of this whole situation. Not only the humiliation, but all of the other awful, life altering emotions that go along with the aftermath.

When I felt a hand touch mine, I jerked it back violently and barely suppressed a scream. I snapped my head up and saw a look of regretful shock on the face of Elliot Stabler. My quickened heart pace slowed a little when I saw it was only him, but somehow it didn't make it much better.

It's not that I was scared of him. I wasn't. I don't think.. (I wasn't for sure because right now, my mind was all screwed up.)

It's not even that he did something wrong.

The issue here, the reason I couldn't bear to have Elliot touch-or even look at-me, was the dirtiness that I felt.

If Elliot had known half of the evil, repulsive things that had been done to me, to my body, within the past however many hours, he wouldn't even want to touch me. I'm sure, considering they knew who my captors had been, the guys had already inferred the scenarios that would have - and did- happen, but they didn't know the specifics. And I'm so glad for that.

Feeling another wave of emotion crash over me, I choked back a sob and turned my head away from Elliot again, letting myself silently cry the rest of the way to the hospital, wondering how I was ever going to live through and beyond this.

**Cragen's POV:**

It had now been 18 hours since Olivia's kidnapping, and I was struggling.

With keeping my emotions in tact, with keeping my professionalism up, and namely, with my alcoholism.

Since the moment I had known Olivia was missing, my body had been begging for a drink, just a drop. Or two. Just a way to escape the pain, worry, and fear for the missing woman whom I thought of as a daughter. For the past _twenty four hours_ I was a walking shell. Every moment, my need, my want for a drink grew more and more, until it was second only to wanting to find Olivia. And for her to be safe. The raging desire was consuming me from the inside. It always got like this when I was worried about something. And this, well, I had never been more worried in my life.

And although I hadn't slipped up yet, I knew I couldn't be too far from doing so.

In fact, I had been sitting in my locked office, staring down an unopened bottle of vodka, when I had gotten the call. Fin's voice was urgent and relieved at the same time as he explained the situation. They had found Liv. She was alive. Also, something about Harris being gone, but my mind couldn't get that far. All I was stuck on was:

_They had found Liv. She was alive._

She was alive. They had found her.

I released a breath of air I didn't know I had been holding.

After Fin got off the phone with me, I had taken one last stare at the bottle, shoved it in the drawer, and locked it away.

_I didn't need that, _I thought.

I wasn't going to give in. I wasn't going to use alcohol as a crutch. And why would I ?

After all, my girl was safe. She was alive. They had found her.

_She was alive. _

**Munch's POV:**

My eyes were closed, my body was relaxed, and my back was flat against one of the familiar mattresses in the crib-all the basic essentials for sleeping-but my mind was alive and alert with stress. Therefore, getting some shuteye was definitely not a possibility. Every second that I was up here, I felt more and more guilty. I felt like I should be down there working to find Olivia and rescue her from those creeps, even though the more logical part of myself was reminding me that I was no use to anyone in the tired state that I was in.

I wasn't one to show my emotions very often, but right now, I was struggling. I couldn't get the images out of my head . Images of things that could be happening to Liv every second that I was lying here on my back. Olivia had always been close with all of us here at the 1-6. She had different relationships with all of us. With Fin, it was like a brother/sister thing. With Cragen, a father/daughter. And with Elliot, well, I won't get into that right now…

But for me, she's been like.. The niece I never had. I am protective of her, proud of her, and I care about her, just like any uncle would. And right now, I would do anything to have her back here, safe. I sat up and decided that I didn't care how tired I was. I had to go work on finding her.

But before I could even stand and stretch my long, old legs out, my cell phone vibrated in my pocket. After rubbing my tired eyes, I reached in and got it, seeing that it was Fin calling.

"Hello?" I grumbled into the phone.

"Hey, man," he said in an unrecognizable tone, "We found Livvy."

My heart skipped a beat.

"Is she okay?" I asked. It was the only question I had.

"Yes," he said, "She's okay. Shaken up, scared, but okay."

My rigid posture slackened at once.

"Okay," I said, not knowing what else to say, "Thanks for calling."

"Yep," Fin said, "Oh, and by the way, they're taking her to Manhattan Central Hospital. If you wanted to know."

And with that, we hung up.

I hesitated for a second before standing up and shoving the phone back into my deep pocket.

Sleep was going to have to wait, because right now, Olivia mattered, and nothing else.

I was going to head down to Manhattan Central and be the friend I needed to be.

I wasn't exactly sure if she would even want me there or not, but I was going to be there, on the off chance that she would, with an open shoulder to cry on. It was time to be Uncle Munch.

**Fin's POV:**

I never thought I would have to see that look on Olivia Benson's face again.

Seeing those traumatized, terrified eyes of Olivia the one time at Sealview had already been enough to internally scar me for life. Never would I have imagine that I would have to her like that again. Ever.

But that is exactly what had happened toady.

Except this time, the look went deeper. This time, the emotion on her face was so strong that I couldn't stand looking at her for more than a few seconds at a time.

Reason being: this time, it had gone all the way.

Now, Olivia had never really told me the whole Sealview story, but from what I've gathered, they hadn't gotten "all the way" in the basement.

But this time, there was no denying it.

If the bruises, tears, and missing clothes didn't give it away, the look in her eyes would have.

Those eyes.. They pierced right through my chest.

And even now, sitting in the passenger seat of one of the cruisers, the burning memory of those eyes were enough to make me want to turn around, break through the fiber glass wall and strangle Matthew Parker, who currently sat with a smug smirk on his face. Yeah, we'll see how long that stays there…

Anyway, we were about 15 minutes away from Manhattan Central, the hospital Olivia had been rushed to, and I was nervous, yet eager, to see her.

I was afraid of seeing those eyes again.

Because once I looked into the beautiful, broken soul of that woman, I knew it'd be over for me. I wouldn't bee able to hold it in, and I would break. And that's the last thing she needed.

So after a few minutes, when the cruiser dropped me off outside the hospital doors, I took a deep breath and then trudged forward, determined to go to Olivia, and do anything I can to help her. Just like the rest of my colleagues would do when they got here. We were all here for Olivia. She needs us.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the characters. That would be Dick Wolf. Ugh. That makes me jealous!

**Olivia's POV:**

I had finally gotten the tears to stop.

They were likely to come out again soon, but for the time being, I was thankful for my freedom from them.

Another thing I was thankful for was the fact that I was alone. It was just me ,myself, and I in the quiet of the small, white hospital room. The doctors had requested that Elliot and anyone else who wanted to see me wait awhile; give me time to calm down. And of course, Elliot didn't take that too well.. The only thing keeping him from barging in here right now is captain's orders.

One thing that I was certainly _not_ thankful for was the blaring, intense pain that was throbbing through my bruised-and possibly broken-legs. The beating from the baseball bat had done some serious damage. You could see it, too. Every inch of exposed skin was covered in big, purple bruises. Bruises that everyone would see when they saw me..

The doctor said that if I was up to it, I could have visitors in after my examination. They also said I could have one of them present _during_ the rape kit. And while a part of me wanted to have someone there to hold my hand, a bigger part of me knew that it would only add to the humiliation.

I'm a cop. I knew how rape kits went, and they weren't pleasant. They are thought of as almost a second attack. I knew that the chances of me breaking down again during the procedure were great, and I didn't want _anyone_ to witness it. Especially Elliot.

There was a knock at the door and it was slightly cracked open.

I snapped my head up and struggled to find my voice.

"Come in," I barely got out, my voice low and scratchy. I assumed it was the doctor at the door, coming to perform my rape kit. Deep breath.

The door was pushed open the rest of the way and I was greeted with the smiling, handsome face of a man in a long white coat and scrubs.

A male doctor. Figures.

As an automatic response, I pressed myself back into the bed and gripped the hospital bed sheets with tight fists. The smiling man didn't seem to notice.

_Pull it together, Olivia,_ I told myself.

"Miss Benson," he read aloud from the file in his hand, "how are you feeling?"

Again, my voice seemed to get lost in the lump that was forming in my throat.

Instead of answering him, I gave him a slight nod and a shrug, still sitting in my rigid, tensed position.

_Relax, _I told myself, _You are NOT going to freak out over having a male doctor. He's nice. He won't hurt you.. He won't hurt you._

Maybe I could request a female doctor..?

No.

That is ridiculous. I was being pathetic. I needed to stay calm, stay professional. This man was just here to do his job.

_Stop being so weak!_ I mentally scolded myself, _You're acting like a wimp. You are a cop. Suck. It. Up._

He took a step toward me and a slightly flinched again. I was on edge, shaking and watching his every move.

"It says here that I'll be doing a rape kit today," he said to me, "Is that correct?"

I gathered barely just enough composure to offer him a small smile of confirmation. He nodded and took another step toward me. Another flinch.

_Stay calm. Stay calm. _

Another step.

My chest tightened.

Another step.

I was barely holding on here.

Finally, he was within arms reach of me. He reached down to my bed, probably to pull back my hospital sheet, and that's when I lost it.

I just broke. I sharply exhaled a breath that I didn't know I'd been holding in, jumping back and swatting the doctor's hand away.

"Don't touch me," I blurted out sharply. He pulled his hand back faster than if he had touched fire.

. I looked away and shut my eyes , in shame, fear, and embarrassment, trying to catch my raspy breath.

Keeping my eyes closed tightly and trying to control the emotion in my voice, I spoke out again, more gently this time.

"Please," I said, "Can-can I please have a female doctor? Please.."

My voice trailed off, getting lost in a teary sob.

The man slowly backed away from me, putting his folder down on a table.

"Uh, yeah," he said, "sorry."

And then I heard him leave and shut the door behind him.

I stayed frozen in my position for a few moments; clenched fists, closed eyes, and a shaking form. I didn't move from this spot until I heard another knock on the door. My heart jumped.

I pulled my knees to my chest and hid my face. I didn't even bother on responding to the knocking. I assumed that it was the female doctor. Even though it was better than she was a woman, it wasn't going to make this any easier. I wasn't sure if I was ready for this. I _knew_ I wasn't ready for this.

The knock came again, just as gentle as last time.

When I heard the door being pushed open, I peeked out from under my arm, and was surprised when I didn't see a doctor.

I was even more surprised to see that it was _Elliot._

He was frozen in the doorway, staring at my shaking, sobbing body with an unidentifiable look on his face.

"Liv.." He whispered, mouth open and eyes wide.

I closed my eyes against his pitiful stare, feeling a new wave of tears coming down my face.

There were footsteps as he began to walk to me. I tensed myself in preparation of his touch, but it never came. Instead, he stood about three feet back from my bed. The shocked face still hadn't gone from this face.

"Olivia," he whispered again.

I sniffled in response.

Then, I looked up when I heard something that I never thought I'd here.

I heard the sound of Elliot crying.

My eyes slowly raised to meet his. The sight was heartbreaking. The rims of his eyes were beat-red, with glossy liquid running down his cheeks from his glimmering eyes. His arms were half-extended, as if he wanted to reach out to me, but was afraid to.

I sniffled again, looking into his eyes for the first time since he had rescued me.

"El," I croaked.

He let out a sob at the sound of my voice.

"Oh, Liv," he said. He brought his hands to his face, rubbing at his eyes.

He took another cautious step toward me. I didn't flinch. Another step. And another.

When he was close enough, he sat down on the edge of the bed and without another second's hesitation, pulled me into a tight embrace. I flattened my aching legs down on the bed and wrapped my arms around him in return, pulling myself closer to him. My tears were flowing freely now, my hands gripping tightly at his back.

He was full-out sobbing now.

"Oh, Olivia," He whispered into my hair, "I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad your safe. I'm sorry I let them take you! I'm so sorry I let those monsters hurt you."

I said nothing in response, just pulled him closer and buried my face into his chest.

We cried like this for a long time. Every couple of seconds, he would apologize again, his voice filled with agony and relief at the same time.

I wanted to tell him it wasn't his fault, that I didn't blame him, but I couldn't do anything but sit in his loving embrace and cry. For now, that's all I wanted to do.

**Elliot's POV:**

Never before in my life had I been so shamelessly out of control with my emotions. But I couldn't help it. Nothing in the world could have stopped my free flowing tears as I held Olivia's warm, shaking body in my arms, knowing that this pain she was feeling was my fault. I'd let her down, and now she was a broken mess. I'd never forgive myself. Even if she did.

The tears weren't just from the guilt though. Or even just from the heartbreaking look on Olivia's face. Some of my crying was due to the relief I felt to have Olivia safe in my arms.

For the time that she had been gone, so many thoughts had crossed my mind. So many thoughts that involved me never getting to see Olivia again. The feel of her now was like heaven.

I had come to her room after seeing a flustered doctor walk out of her door. I had to make sure Olivia was okay, even though her actions in the ambulance had made me think that she didn't even want to see me. When I'd seen her.. Seen her in her completely broken state, I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. Not only was my partner hurt and scared and confused, but it was my fault .

As we sat in our embrace, both of our breaths beginning to return to normal, I rubbed my hands up and down her back, comforting her as she got the last bit of her sobs out. It was actually so bad that she had begun hiccupping between cries. My tee shirt was now soaked with her tears, but I couldn't have cared less. I just held her until she was quiet.

When she was quiet for a long time, I started to think that maybe she had fallen asleep. But when there was a knock, she pulled out of my arms and looked up at the door.

A young woman doctor with long, brown hair walked in and sympathetically.

She picked up the file from the night table, looked through it briefly, and then set it back down and looked back at Olivia and me.

"I know this isn't going to be fun, but are you ready?" she asked Olivia gently.

My partner shook her head slightly and lied back onto her pillow.

I took that as my cue. I stood up from the bed, leaving the doctor room to do her work, and began making my way to the exit. When I was to the door, I turned around quickly to tell Olivia that I would see her later, but when I turned to her, the look on her face stopped me dead in my tracks.

She was looking past the doctor, who was busying herself with getting all the things for the rape kit ready, and staring at me with the most terrified, lonely expression I'd ever seen.

Her watery eyes were pleading with me. Pleading me to stay.

And I'd never been more willing in my whole life.

**A/N: Hey guys. I really hope you like this chapter! I worked hard on it, to capture the emotion and everything, and I think I did okay, but I want to know what YOU thought! Last chapter, personally, I thought was not one of my stronger ones, so I hope this emotional/ EOish chapter made up for it! =) lol You're reviews make my life!.. Just sayin'. =)**


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Thank you guys so much for your reviews! I'm glad that you all thought that I did well on the emotions and all that jazz.. I'd also like to explain a little bit about the whole clingy-olivia thing. I'd really taken a long time to think about how to deal with the aftermath and how she deals with it. Since none of us really know how Olivia would actually react to a situation like that, i had to guess and make a choice. I could have either made her really distant or really clingy. And in that chapter, her character shows a bit more of a clingy side, but that doesn't mean taht its how shes going to be throughout the story. Her 'moment' with Elliot was more of an in-the-moment, desperate-for-comfort type thing. Basically, it was an emotional breakdown. The whole situation hadn't fully sunken in for either of them until then. From now on, youll begin to see more distant, victim like qualities from Olivia. . I hope I explained that well enough! lol Now, Without further ado..chapter 20!**

**Elliot's POV:**

"You want me to stay with you?" I asked quietly.

She nodded to me from across the room, the wide eyed expression frozen on her face said everything..

My heart broke for her.

I walked cautiously to her bedside and gently placed my hands on the railing. I looked down at her, not being able to help the pity that was inevitably written all over my face.

She shifted her eyes away from me, and I could feel the shame radiating from her.

Trying to ignore my eyes on her, she gulped nervously and waited for the doctor to be ready.

"Ready?" she asked, sympathetically.

Olivia seemed to barely manage a nod.

The doctor brought the stirrups out and my partner drew in a quick breath as her feet were set accordingly. She was now shaking so badly that I could see the vibrations of her body through the thin, white hospital blanket covering the better half of her body. I watched her hands drop to the surface of the bed and anxiously grab a fistful of the sheet.

I wondered briefly if she would want to hold me hand through this. I wanted to badly to reach out to her and comfort her, but touching her now might scare her even more, and make her flinch away again. So instead, I released my grip on the hard bedrail and displayed them in a more open manner. If she wanted to hold my hand, I would let her take the initiative and decide for herself.

I knew right when the examination began that my staying with her for this was a good idea. No matter how independent and strong I thought Olivia was - even after all this - no one should ever have to experience this alone.

I could tell she was trying to be strong as the doctor lifted the blanket and exposed her lower half -not enough to where I could see anything. She flinched and her iron grip on the bed sheets got tighter every time the woman touched her. When the doctor's hands went under the sheet, a heartbreaking whimper escaped Olivia's lips and she squeezed her eyes closed. Despite her efforts to hide it, I saw glistening puddles of moisture beginning to gather under her eyelids. My chest sunk in and my eyes began burning, but I didn't cry. I was trying to be strong for her. My partner, my best friend that I had known and loved for 10 plus years had been violated, brutalized, and condensed to a shaking, terrified victim. And it killed me inside.

My hands twitched toward her before I stopped myself. I had to let her make the first move to hold my hand.

The doctor reached behind her and turned back around holding two swabs in her hand.

She made eye contact with Olivia, holding the sticks up. Olivia, of course, knew what they were for. The doctor didn't have to explain much to a cop who dealt with this stuff daily from a third person POV. So she gave her consent with a tremble of her lip and a slight nod.

The doctor nodded professionally in response and went straight to her work.

I looked to Olivia's face again, and it was like watching a ticking time bomb. She was trying so hard to keep it all in- I could tell. There were deep wrinkles on her sweaty forehead and the teardrops behind her closed eyes were beginning to seep out. Her breathing was more and more labored with every second. Finally, she couldn't take it.

It must have been one wrong touch by the doctors hand that sent her over the edge.

In one quick, thoughtless motion, both of her hands pried themselves from the crinkled sheet and reached automatically to my open hands. The tears that had been threatening, finally spilled over. She was now clutching my hands with a fierce persistence. It was like she was literally hanging on for dear life. And in the state that she was in now, she probably was. I showed no hesitation as I held her small hands between the two of mine and leaned down to her so she could cry on my shoulder.

We stayed in this position for the rest of the procedure: Olivia tensed and crying on my shoulder, and me, lightly squeezing her hands every once in a while and whispering small words of comfort. The only time we moved from our spot was when the doctor needed to look at her bruises or take pictures.

I had been so relieved when the doctor said she was finally done. By this time, Olivia had already released my hand and was looking away with her lips in a tight line and tears wetting her face. There was a dead, unmistakable look in her eyes. My heart sank when I realized she was beginning to detach. And Once that happened, God knows when -and if- I'd get her back.

The doctor left the room with a wave, and I decided I had to do something to bring Olivia out of her distance.

"Liv?" I said quietly, keeping completely still.

When she didn't acknowledge me, I felt my chest sink in a little bit more. I took in a deep breath.

"Liv?" I repeated again, a cautious edge to my voice, "I'm sorry. I'm so.. So sorry." I truly was.

Again, no response.

I waited for a few more seconds, watching as her eyes stared straight ahead, away from me. It's like she wasn't even listening.

"Olivia.. Talk to me," I said on the verge of tears, "Tell me what you're feeling."

I sat and watched as her expression began to change from her numb, detached state to a pained, terrified look. The corners of her lips twitched down into a frown and she brought a hand over her mouth to hold in a sob. After a few seconds of gathering a bit of her composure, she looked down at her lap, defeated.

"Pain," she weakly hissed out between her clenched teeth. I could tell she was struggling to keep her composure, "I feel pain. Physical pain. Th-"

Her voice was cut off again by a sob.

She sucked in a breath and tried again.

"Th-they hurt me so much, physically.. And.. I.." She seemed to struggle at the end.

I waited patiently for her to continue. After a long while of silence, I took a step toward her. When she didn't flinch away, I took another. Eventually, I was so close that I reached out to touch her shoulders comfortingly. Apparently, I hadn't learn my lesson yet, because she responded to my touch by jerking roughly away from my touch. This time, however, her sudden jerk had sent the sheet on her legs shifting to the side, and all at once I was bombarded by the disturbing discoloration of the bruises on Olivia's leg.

I couldn't even say anything. All I could do was stare.

Olivia noticed and yanked the blanket back over her exposed skin. She looked up at me with red cheeks. Whether it was from anger or embarrassment or both, I couldn't tell. I quickly tried to gather myself.

"Liv, I-"

"I just want to be alone, Elliot," She said quietly with downcast eyes.

"But-"

"I just want to be alone!" She said a little fiercer.

I closed my previously agape mouth and took a step back.

I would obey her wishes. I would go.

And I know just the place.

I turned and walked out the door, pulling my cell out the second I closed to door behind me.

After a couple of rings, he picked up.

"Tutuola," said the voice on the phone.

"Fin," I said with harshness, "I'm on my way down the precinct. Hopefully you haven't already killed Parker. I want to get a few shots in."

**Olivia's POV:**

_*****__When I opened my eyes, all I saw was his face above mine. It took me a while to register everything that was happening. I couldn't move my arms. They were pinned down, above me. There were hands. I was being touched everywhere. And pain. Oh, the pain was unbearable. I started screaming and pulling on my limbs, but they were stuck beneath the crushing grip of the men on top of me. So I started to cry..*_

The flashbacks were attacking me from all angles as I leaned forward on the porcelain, hospital sink and stared into the mirror.

It's like I was frozen in this moment, staring into my own reflection's eyes. Reliving everything that the pain in my image revealed.

_*I wake up again, and both of them are off of me. I open my eyes just in time to see them walk out one of the back doors of the garage. I tried to sit up, but flopped back onto the thin, pokey mattress when unbearable pain shot through my body. It was like the soreness that you get the day after you overdo your workout, times 100. __My arms were tingling as the blood rushed back into them. They had gone completely numb when they had held them over my head. I felt the last bit of my tears beginning to dry on my face, but I didn't reach up to wipe the remnants away.. I knew there would be more tears to come later, anyway. After a few moments, I noticed my slightly torn under garments lying on the floor next to the mattress, and hurriedly - well, as hurriedly as I could manage- reached over and grabbed them. I struggled as I put them on, trying my best to cover as much of my violated, brutalized body as possible…*_

When I came out of my flashback, I realized that I was no longer standing at the sink, looking into the mirror. At some point, I had managed to end up in the position I am in now: curled up on the hospital bathroom floor, crying and clawing desperately at my thin hospital clothes. I was hyperventilating, because I could feel them. I could still feel their hands all over me. Touching, squeezing. I could feel their strong hands pinning me down, and I could feel the dingy mattress against my back. I could still feel myself being violated. Most of all, I still felt that helpless feeling. And I was afraid it was never going away.

I heard my cell phone vibrating on the rim of the porcelain sink above me, but I didn't make a move to answer it. I couldn't move at all. I waited for it to stop, but it didn't. Apparently whoever was calling, was going to KEEP calling until I answered. Eventually, the vibrating caused it to fall to the ground beside me. It didn't break, but I could now see who was calling me. The little screen on the front of my phone said "Ellitot".

The name sent fresh waves of hyperventilation. Even some tears with it, this time. I couldn't let him see me like this anymore. He'd seen enough of his partner being pathetic today. I couldn't bare the shame of looking him in the eyes anymore. Not now, as I sit here in a pile of my own misery on this dirty, hospital floor. I couldn't. I wouldn't make HIM suffer through my problems.

I reached over to my still vibrating cell phone, and in burst of emotion, threw it against the wall with one loud, shattering clang. The vibrating stopped.

With all the energy that I could find within myself, I pulled myself over to the bathroom door, slammed it shut and locked it. Locking the world out with it.


	21. Chapter 21

Hey everyone, sorry for the late update last time! I tried to make this one a little quicker J I love all of your reviews, with a passion! Keep them coming, please! Lol I hope this chapter Is quality enough for you. Let me know! Enjoy!

**Fin's POV:**

It had been about 2 hours, and I was still standing in the same, rigid position. My legs were starting to get sore. My back was against the wall, arms folded, facing forward, staring directly into the eyes of Matthew Parker.

Munch and I had been tag teaming him for a while now, and he wasn't cracked. He won't even break a sweat. Instead, he sits there with this cocky little smirk on his face, like he's got something to be happy about. Its really starting to tick me off.

As I continued to stare him down, my mind went back to a few months ago, when Liv and I were at Sealview, undercover. Parker, here, had been the one I hung around the most. He had been the one we had originally suspected for the ongoing rape allegations at the trashy, female prison. During the time I had spent with him, I saw more and more evidence against him; the way he'd "accidentally" brush against the inmates, how he'd take the inmate searches a little too far. He was a total perv, but in the end, Lowell Harris had been the one we'd arrested. Although, in my mind, I never stopped doubting that Harris was the only one committing the crimes. I just knew Parker had a part in it, too. And now with Liv's case, I can actually put his sorry butt in lockup, where he belongs.

I finally broke my posture when my cell started buzzing in my pocket. Munch, who had fallen asleep against the wall behind Parker snapped his eyes open and jumped at the noise. I snickered silently as I pulled my phone out. The call was from Elliot.

"Tutuola," I said into the speaker.

"Fin," his voice hissed into the phone, "I'm on my way down the precinct. Hopefully you haven't already killed Parker. I want to get a few shots in."

Then I heard a click and silence. I smirked and slid the phone back into my pocket.

Much and Parker were both staring expectantly up at me.

I smiled back at Matthew, mirroring the cocky grin on his face.

"Detective Stabler is on his way," I said menacingly, "And let me tell you, he doesn't take well to people messing with his partner."

"Now may also be a good time to bring up Detective Stabler's long history of violence with the perps," Much added, coming up behind him.

For the first time since he had stepped foot through the door, Matthew Parker showed a glimpse of fear.

**Olivia's POV:**

"I'm ready to go home," I said to the receptionist on the Trauma Recovery floor.

The sweet, middle aged woman looked up at me sympathetically.

"Detective Olivia Benson?" She asked as a confirmation.

I nodded. Her gaze grew even more pitiful.

"The doctor had mentioned that he wanted to keep you for a little while longer, just to monitor you," she said gently.

I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath through my nose, trying to keep my tears of frustration and everything else inside.

"I'm fine," I said, "I don't need monitored."

"But your injuries-"

"My injuries are fine. _I'm _fine," I repeated, "I don't want to be monitored. I want to go _home._"

I was getting irritated. Not with this receptionist specifically, but I felt like a child; whining and begging and trying to reason my point to a higher authority.

The nice lady in front of me looked down at her desk for a moment in thought. I could tell she was struggling with what to do.

Finally, she looked up and leaned forward on her elbows.

"Miss Benson," She said softly, "I know you just want to be alone, and it's understandable-"

I didn't even wait for her to finish her sentence. I couldn't. Without my permission, my lip began to tremble and tears sprang to my eyes.

"Please," I cut her off with a quiet, broken whisper, "Please. I'd like to go home. Please, I just want to go home."

My voice cut out at the end, trailing off in a shaky cry. Tears began to run down my face.

The receptionist stared up at me for a few moments, hesitating before I finally saw the resolve break in her eyes. She silently reached somewhere on a shelf behind her and brought back a clipboard with a stack of papers attached. Before she handed it to me, she pulled a tissue out of a box and attached it to the clipboard for my tears.

She put the clipboard in my hands and smiled up at me.

"These are the discharging papers," she said, "Fill them out, bring them back up here, and you're free to go, Detective."

I took the tissue and ran it across my wet cheeks.

"Thanks," I whispered and walked to the nearest seat.

I began filling out the papers as fast as I could, never having been in more of a hurry to get home.

**Harris's POV:**

I'd been driving for hours now, but it seemed like days.

I was headed South, maybe to hide out across the border for a few weeks, lay low so they wouldn't find me.

I hadn't thought much about Parker, but I do wonder what happened to him.

Poor sucker, he'll probably have to take all the jail time, because I'm not

Oh well. Its every man for himself.

**Elliot's POV:**

**A pair of leather-covered arms restrained me as soon as a I burst through the interrogation room door. My eyes were set on the surprised man sitting at the table in front of me. Fire was in my eyes; a burning hatred for this monster and what he'd done. **

"**Let me go, Fin!" I growled as I continued to fight against his constricting arms. I hadn't even noticed that Much had joined him in trying to conceal my fit of rage.**

"**Let me go! I'm going to kill him!" I shouted, all anger consuming me at that moment.**

**There was a glimmer of fear in Parker's eye and it only fed my temper. My mind was continuously flashing images of Olivia: bruised, battered, and terrified. **

**I threw my fists about wildly, hoping to get a piece of him. **

**It wasn't until I heard the loud, commanding voice of Captain Cragen that I stopped fighting. **

"**ENOUGH!" He yelled, louder than I had ever heard him.**

"**Elliot Stabler, my office, right this instant!"**

**He was absolutely irate, and I could see it in his eyes. **

**He turned to storm to his office. With one, final, intimidating look at Parker, I turned to follow Cragen, trying to catch my breath.**

**The lecture began the moment I shut the door behind me in his office. **

"**Care to tell me what that was about, Elliott? Huh?" He didn't give me time to answer any of his questions before continuing on in his rant, "That was absolutely ridiculous, immature, and irresponsible! I didn't expect this from a dedtective of your quality and experience. I expected SOME sort of self control! This was absolutely inexcusable. And to think what this will do to our case! Any halfway decent defense lawyer is going to have you in lockup by sunset tonight."**

**I remained quiet, head down, taking the lecture in silence.**

"**I know your partner has been hurt, but she is special to all of us too, and you don't see us going and getting in ghetto fights with the perp!" He added.**

**This lecture went on and on until I just couldn't take it. **

"**Captain," I grumbled, "I'm sorry.**

**His eyes were wide with annoyance. **

"**Sorry doesn't even begin to cover it," he replied solomly, "Elliot, you are off of this case. That is final."**

**My mouth dropped open a little. **

"**No," I said, "No captain, I have to, for Olivia!"**

**I was almost panicking now.**

**He looked down at his feet and said quietly, "you should have thought about that before. Now, get out of my office."**

**He looked me in the eye once before pointing to the doorway. **

**I frustrated walked out, pulled out my cellphone, and called Olivia. 1,2,3 times. No answer. **

**I began to get worried, so I went out to my car, hopped in and began making my way toward the hospital. I might have been banned from this case, but I sure as heck wasn't going to let that stop me from seeing my partner. **


	22. Chapter 22

_**Hey, readers! (: I'm back again, fairly quickly this time! (cue the applause!) I truly appreciated all of your reviews from the last chapter. They really do encourage me to go on, and some of them even give me inspiration and guidance for further chapters. So, thank you to all who commented. Anyways, one of you mentioned about how you thought the story was being rushed and also brought out a couple of other things to my attention, and I agree with all of it. ! I have really been thinking about it lately, and I have felt the same way, so I am going to try to slow things down a bit and try and clear up some other things it whatever way I can. Thanks for bringing that out to me!: ) Hopefully this chapter fulfils all of your anticipations! Haha . Here you go - Chapter 22! (OMG, 22 already? Yayyyyy!)**_

**Olivia's POV:**

By the time I had made my way to the exit doors of the hospital , there were already tears in my eyes, and blood on my lip from biting it so hard. I was trying my hardest to keep the pain shooting up my leg concealed.

I had at least thought I would be able to make it to my car without it being so bad. I was wrong.

I knew that the only reason I could even walk at all was because of the extreme dose of morphine my doctors had put in my I.V. But that didn't do enough to cover up the pain of possible fractures that were probably all over my legs. I was already beginning to feel my legs shake and falter with my steps.

Each step that I took on the hard, cement pavement seemed more painful than when Parker had actually hit me with the bat. That, and other injuries that had been inflicted during the.. 'attack'.. made it nearly impossible to keep walking.

_Think about the doctors, _I told myself,_ think about the poking, prodding nurses and doctors, and think about your partner. Think about all of the people you work with, who are going to think you are absolutely pathetic if you stay here in your hospital bed to be waited on hand and foot. You are more independent than that!_

My conscious was being harsh, but I told myself it was right, and painfully kept walking through the parking lot.

That's when I remembered; I hadn't driven here.

Crap.

At this time, the threatening tears were no longer held back. Angry, pained, and frustrated tears fell over the rims of my eyes and down my cheeks for the thousandth time today.

I wiped them away furiously and looked around me. I saw a bus stop at the end of the parking lot near the road. At least 50 yards away.

A sudden, involuntary sob escaped my mouth. I reached my hand up to cover the source of the noise, but it seldom helped, as the pain began to grow more and more intense.

I forced myself to take a step forward, and let out another silent sob.

With every searing, unbearable step, I was painstakingly reminded of my attack. I felt every hit, every blow, echoing through my body as if it were happening once again. Every once in a while, my legs would give or the toe of my hospital-lent shoe would catch on the ground and I would stumble forward a little. This added to the pain, but I never fully fell.

By the time I made it to the bus stop, I was full out sobbing. Hysterically.

Thank God I was alone.

I was nearly overjoyed when I saw the small blessing of a bench. I limped my way over to it and slowly sat down. It was no garden of roses, but it at least allowed me to take my weight off of my legs. The morphine was definitely worn off.

After catching my breath, I leaned over and pulled up the pant leg of my scrubs. The sight beneath them was not pretty.

My stomach began to churn as I stared down at the completely black and blue marks that covered the majority of my skin. I was bleeding in several places; cuts that had been torn open because of the immense swelling. My calves were nearly double their regular size because of the injuries. I let the pants fall back down and cover the hideous markings. At that moment, I saw the city bus emerging my stop. I groaned as I began to pull myself up from the bench, using the railing that had been placed there to help the handicapped.

The bus stopped with a loud screech in front of me and opened its doors.

The driver was a fat, middle-aged man who appeared unbathed and apathetic.

I limped forward to the steps of the bus and braced my arms against the metal railing to help myself up.

I felt like an old woman.

My cheeks began to flash red with embarrassment as I took a long time to make my way up and into the aisle.

I exhaled a sigh of relief when I saw that there was a seat open within the first couple of rows. When I was almost to my seat, the impatient driver decided that he had waited long enough and jolted the bus forward. I tumbled forward a little before a man who was sitting nearby shot up to catch me around the waist.

I flinched violently at the sudden touch and looked up at him with my red, tear streaked face.

"Are you okay?" he asked, obviously in shock of my appearance and lack of balance.

"Yeah..sorry. I mean, thanks," I stuttered out nervously. I pulled quickly away from his grasp. He looked confused and hurt, but I scrambled my way into the seat, scooted my body as close to the window as I could and ignored everyone for the rest of the ride.

This bus was headed right toward my apartment block, luckily. It was only about a 20 minute drive.

When the bus driver pulled to a halt, I was the only one who stood up to get off.

I carefully - and painfully - made my way down the aisle. I could see the drivers face in the rearview mirror. He sighed impatiently and folded his arms. I tried to ignore him, along with the other faces of the impatient passengers.

When I reached the steps, I took in a shaky breath. I gently lowered one foot onto the lower step, followed by the other.

I thought I was doing pretty okay, until the next sequence of events happened. It was all a blur.

First, I heard an impatient grunt coming from the driver behind me. Then I heard the squeal of the gas petal.

Next thing I know, my trembling leg gives out after feeling a final rush of pain and I am falling, falling, falling, hit, blackness.

A gasp from someone behind me, hands on me, voices-panicked voices-speaking loudly at first, and then everything got quiet. Silence. I was out.

**Elliot's POV:**

My phone vibrated on the passenger seat beside me. In all my rage and confusion, I almost didn't notice it. I took a glance over at it and saw that it was Captain who was calling. Maybe he was calling to apologize.

I reached over and flipped it open, hitting the speaker button.

"Captain?" I answered the call.

"Elliot," he said, his voice sober and grave. My stomach dropped. Something was wrong. It had to be for him to take that tone.

"What is it?" I asked nervously.

"It's Olivia," he said.

I nearly slammed on my breaks in surprise. My hands tightened themselves around the steering wheel in attempts to get them to stop shaking.

"Oh, no," I whispered, "What's wrong with her? What happened? Is she okay?"

Captain was quiet for a moment before answering.

"She took a fall. A pretty hard one. Off the steps of a city bus."

My mind was racing. My breath was ragged.

"A city bus?" I breathed in confusion, "What is she doing on a city bus? She is supposed to be at the hospital! Did she..She discharged herself, didn't she? What was she thinking?"

Captain stopped me in my rant.

"I don't know Elliot," He said sternly, "All I know is that she is unconscious and unresponsive to the doctors. What I would like to know is why she was left _alone _at the hospital. With one of her captors on the _loose!_"

His voice rose at the end with anger.

I loosened my grip on the wheel and breathed out heavily. In all my rage at Parker and Harris, I had forgotten about the most important detail here.

"Captain, I'm-"

"Save it, Elliot," he snapped, "Just get to the hospital. Now."

"I'm on my way," I replied, "Is..Is she okay? I mean, is she going to be?"

Captain was eerily silent yet again.

Finally, he responded.

"They don't know if she's going to make it, El."

And I could have sworn, in that very moment, my heart completely stopped beating.


	23. Chapter 23

**Oh dear. I can see the angry pitch forks and torches already. Before you savagely kill me, though, I would like to thoroughly apologize for the agonizingly long wait. I know, it was awful. I probably scared a few of you into thinking that I had fallen off the side of the planet. But let me be the first to tell, this is not true. (Insert excuses as to why I haven't updated here). So yeah, I hope you like your long-awaited update! Reviews are my sunshine on a cloudy day! **

**Cragen's POV:**

When Elliot busted through the waiting room doors, there were already tears in his eyes.

"Where is she?" He demanded breathlessly. A crazy look was apparent in his eyes, "How did this happen?"

I rose from my seat and went to him, putting my hands firmly on each of his shoulders - firstly to comfort him, but also to restrain him.

"Elliot," I barked, "Control yourself."

"Captain!" He nearly shouted back, "How did she just fall off of a city bus? How did this happen?"

I sighed. Should I tell him? Of course, he deserves the truth, but this might be too much for his temper to handle. Hesitantly, I looked back at him.

"Witnesses say that the driver began to pull away before she was fully off the bus."

His expression darkened automatically. The crazy look that had occupied his face earlier was no comparison to his expression now. It looked like he was going to snap any second.

"Elliot, take a seat," I coerced gently, "You need to relax."

The detective blinked several times before nodding at me. As he didn't seem to have control of his own body, I led him to the nearest row of hard, plastic chairs and helped him sit.

His eyes were wide. He was terrified to an extent that scared me. However, this is exactly the reaction I had anticipated from him. Olivia was his world and her life was hanging in the balance. To make matters worse, Elliot was going to blame himself for every bit of it.

"Cap," Elliot whispered, looking blankly ahead, "You said Olivia might not make it.. You said.. You said she.. She.."

"El," I cut in. Suddenly, I felt as if I was in a father's shoes. I had a responsibility to hold things together at an impossible time - a time like this. I had to be strong and comfort him, "Please. Try to relax." I begged.

He shook his head and dropped it into his hands.

"No," he said, "No, no, no. This is all my fault. None of this would have happened if I would have just stayed with her. If I could have just been a better partner.. A better _friend._"

"Elliot, that's ridiculous," I said, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off immediately.

"Don't tell me it's ridiculous," he said as he jerked his head up, "Don't tell me you don't think it's my fault - I _know_ you think it's my fault. It _is _my-" "Elliot!" I interrupted, standing up, "Stop. Listen to yourself. You _are_ being ridiculous. What would Olivia do if she heard you making all these accusations against yourself. You don't even have to tell me; I know what she would do. She would probably punch your lights out for giving yourself that much credit."

Elliot was silenced. For a long while, he simply stared up at me with a heartbreakingly lost face. Eventually, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall. A barely-there half smile appeared on his face.

"Yeah," he whispered sadly, "She probably would."

He let out a few soft, dark chuckles, and before I knew it, the gentle laughter had erupted into heart wrenching cries. At the sight, I had to blink my own tears back before sitting down quietly next to him. My hand grasped his shoulder as we worried together.

"Oh, God," I heard Elliot whimper through his tears, "Please let her be alright."

**Fin's POV:**

I was standing outside the interrogation room window, staring at Parker with the same dirty look, when I got the call.

It was captain calling, telling me that Olivia was at the hospital. His words were rushed, and I could hear Elliot in the background.

Apparently Liv had an accident. She took a fall.

"Is she okay?" I had asked, confused.

His response was unsure. My stomach dropped to my ankles, and I felt the need to be sick. Liv couldn't be.. Dying.. She couldn't. Not after she made it through all this.

My eyes stung, but I blinked hard, fighting back the swell of emotions that was threatening to take over. _Not on the job, _I told myself.

Before we had hung up the phone, Captain had told me to stay here and keep working on Parker. The sooner we could find a location on Harris, the better.

After putting the phone securely back in my pocket, I swallowed back one final wave of tears, and slammed through the interview room door once more.

"Alright, Parker," I said in a grave voice, "You're going to tell me where that scum bag partner in crime of yours is at, and you're going to tell me now!"

He looked up at me startled, yet smugly, like he was going to object, but I cut him off before I had the chance

"Don't you even test me," I snapped, "Olivia's in a life or death situation right now, and I swear, if you don't give me Harris on a silver platter, I _w_i_ll_ find a way to tie everything to you, and you'll be doing double the time in prison. But maybe if you work with me here, we can get a deal established. It's you're decision."

Parker swallowed hard.

"I don't know where he is," he said quietly.

I slammed my fist against the table, causing him to jump.

"You know!" I shouted back. My face must have looked terribly dangerous, because at the sight, Parker almost flinched away.

I-he-" parker stuttered.

I deepened my gaze.

"I don't know for sure," he said quickly, " But.. I may have a few ideas.."

"So let's hear them," I said impatiently.

"Well," he started off hesitantly, "Lowell had this uncle that lived out of town. His name is Robert.. Robert Harris. We used to go visit him when we got vacation time. He lives a couple hours south of here."

His gaze wondered downward toward his lap. The shame of turning in his best friend was obviously getting to him. Good.

I shoved a pad and a pencil toward him and looked at him expectantly.

"Telephone number and address," I barked, "And they'd _better _be accurate, because if we don't find him, you are taking the fall alone."

I watched him like a hawk as he shakily wrote down what I had requested him to. When I had the information I needed, I jerked the paper away from him, turned swiftly, and walked out the door.

Once I was in the office, I plopped in my chair and picked up the phone. That's when Much emerged from the men's restroom and walked toward me. His face was contorted more than usual with worry lines. Obviously he had heard about Olivia.

"I got something," I said to him, already dialing the phone number.

"What's that?" He asked as the call began to ring in.

"Possible location of Harris," I said.

Munch's eyebrows raised in surprise. Just then, someone picked up.

"Hello?" Said a man who's voice was distinctively similar to Lowell Harris's. Bingo.

"Hello, Mr. Robert Harris," I said with and exchanged sly smile with my partner, "This is the NYPD.."

**Harris's POV:**

I found myself getting more and more paranoid as the hours passed.

Obviously, I knew what Parker and I did was a huge deal. If I got caught for raping a lady cop, I'd be dead. Almost literally. Therefore, whenever I heard a siren or saw a cop car as I drove down the road, I would stiffen up with fear. I was freaking out and looking over my shoulder. I could only imagine was Parker was going through right now.. Poor sucker.. I almost felt bad for leaving him behind, but any sympathetic thoughts were dissolved as I began emerging my destination. I drove until I saw the correct address, then brought my car to a stop in front of a yellow, rural looking house.

Seeing it brought back memories. Without hesitation, I stepped out of my beat up rental car.

Walking up the steps of the porch and approaching the door, I looked over the familiar house. It had been a couple of years since I had last visited, but nothing had seemed to change. It was still the same simple, clean cut house as always. I knocked three times on the hard, wooden door.

Paranoid as I waited, I looked over my shoulder. Good. No cops. Yet..

I knocked again, impatiently.

"Just a moment!" Came my uncle's voice from the inside. I heard soft muttering after that and wondered who he could be talking to. It sounded like only one person though.

My mind was interrupted by the door opening. I was greeted with my suspicious, confused -looking uncle, with a phone in his hand. The look he gave me made me nervous. He swallowed hard, looked at the phone, then back at me.

"Lowy," He said nervously, "The police are on the phone. They won't tell me anything, but they told me to contact the local authorities.. I did."

My stomach dropped.

I cursed under my breath and turned quickly to run, but stopped dead in my tracks when I saw three speeding cop cars skid to a stop in front of the driveway.

**A/N: Haha Yeahh! They got him now ;) Well, I hope you enjoyed this. So sorry if it sucked :/ lol I will try not to keep you waiting so long next time, im just having some issues deciding where I want this story to go. Reviews help me from getting discouraged, just saying. **


	24. Chapter 24

_**Elliot's POV:**_

I couldn't believe the words I was hearing across the phone line.

"You caught Harris?" I exclaimed to Fin.

"We caught him," He confirmed, sounding incredibly relieved, "Parker gave us everything we needed."

"Wow," I whispered and blew out a sigh of relief, "Well that covers one problem…"

"How _is_ Livvy?" He questioned, suddenly somber.

"She's been out of it for hours. Doctors haven't let me see her yet.. But they say soon," I told him.

"Are her chances.. good?" He asked after a few moment's hesitation.

"I don't kn-" I started to say when the waiting room door swung open and Olivia's doctor walked out.

"Fin, I gotta go," I said before hanging up the phone and shoving it back into my pocket.

I raced from my chair over to the doctor.

"Hey, how is she?" I inquired, "How is Olivia doing?"

"The same," the doctor explained with a sympathetic smile, "But the nurses are done with her, so you can see her now."

I swear, my heart skipped a beat.

I looked over at the captain, who was fast asleep in a waiting room chair. The man was exhausted, he needed his sleep.

"Take me to my partner," I demanded to the doctor.

**Olivia's POV:**

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. _

This repetitive lulling is what drew me from my peaceful unconsciousness. My mind slowly began to process other happenings among the steady beeping as my state of mind was clarified. Distant movement, muffled, far away talking. With the exception of the blackness that continued to overtake my vision, I was awake again.

Why couldn't I see anything?

When I attempted to move, I realized that my eyelids were what was preventing me from seeing. I couldn't move.

My arms, my legs, even the features of my face were completely immobilized. At the realization of my helplessness, panic set in. Desperately, my limbs tried to find some way of movement, only to be disappointed by the numbness I felt.

Thousands of thoughts raced at once; paralysis, permanent damage, or perhaps, I was already dead. And if I _was _alive, I wouldn't be much longer, due to the unhealthily rapid pace of my heart.

Before I could think of any more panic inducing possibilities, I heard emerging footsteps. They were slow and unsteady, almost hesitant. My lack of sight and moving abilities didn't allow me to see whoever this person was, only adding to the stress. Oh, no.. What if it was Harris? They hadn't arrested him yet. He could be anywhere, and anywhere includes my hospital bedside. He could kill me - or worse - and I wouldn't be able to do a thing about it. My blood iced over and my mind was uselessly screaming at my body to do something. It's like I was having PTSD while unconscious.

However, my tensed body relaxed the moment I heard this person's familiar voice.

Gentle, sweet, and broken, the heartfelt words emerged from his mouth, "Liv.. Are you there?"

My icy veins warmed automatically, and my mind urged to respond to the loving words of my partner. I'd never heard him so desperate before.

"Olivia," He started again, unsurely, "I don't know if you can hear me or not.. The doctors say you're in a coma. It's been about 4 hours…You know, you are really starting to scare us. Us being everyone from the 1-6. We're worried."

My heart began to ache at his words.

"Anyway," he continued, "I heard what happened. With the impatient driver or whatever.. And just know, I'll have that SOB in jail by sun down tonight, if it's the last thing I ever do. Oh, and what were you doing on a city bus anyway? Weren't you supposed to be in your hospital room? What were you thin- I mean… not that its your fault.. I'm not blaming you, Liv, I'm just saying.. Well, I really don't know what I'm saying. I've just been here for hours, and Captain told me I wouldn't feel better until It talked about this.. And I figured you'd be good to talk to, being my partner and all, and look, here I am nervously rambling on… Typical me, huh?"

Oh, Elliot.

Despite my situation, he brought a thrill of light heartedness. My same, good old partner.

I felt myself begin to show a smile on my lips.

There was about 2 seconds of silence, followed by senseless stuttering.

"Wh.. whoa.. Wait, Liv? Liv! Liv! Doctor!" He called. His footsteps were quick and fleeing for a moment, but only shortly, because soon he was coming back, carrying more footsteps with him.

"I'm telling you she was smiling!" Elliot was exclaiming to the other people.

"You're sure, El?" I heard captains incredulous voice.

"Of course I'm sure, Cap!" Elliot said, "Go check her out, Doc."

Another pair of footsteps began to emerge. It didn't scare me this time, though, because I knew Elliot was nearby.

"Olivia," I heard an unfamiliar voice call out, "Miss Benson, can you hear me."

_Yes! _I wanted to shout back, but I couldn't.

My hand was burning to reach out.

_Grab my hand! _my mind shouted, hoping the doctor would somehow pick up on the telepathy.

By some miracle, the next second, I felt a rough hand slipping into mine.

"Olivia.." The voice urged gently, "If you can hear the sound of my voice, squeeze my hand."

I could feel every ounce of my body mustering up strength. I could do this, I could do this, I could-

Unexpectedly, I felt my palm squeezing against the surface of the doctor's warm skin. The action must have been visible, because the second my hand moved, gasps were heard across the room.

"Liv," Captain and Elliot whispered in unison.

I squeezed again. Slowly, I could feel the strength draining back into my body.

I began to feel my limbs again and my senses became clearer. When my eyelids felt light enough, I fluttered them open, cringing away from the bright light. Awaiting me were the awe-struck face of my partner and boss. My eyes automatically reached for Elliot's.

"Livia.." He whispered.

I couldn't find words to respond with, but I stared back with an intensity that should speak for itself.

"We found him," Elliot said with a slight smile, "We found Harris. He's in custody right now."

My heart squeezed painfully at his name, but the news was good and I smiled at Elliot.

I nodded.

He and Cap both walked forward until they were a foot away from my bed.

"It's good to have you back, Liv," Captain said with a tired smile.

I returned to smile, then looked back to Elliot.

Despite the aching in my body and the haze that still clouded my mind, it was good to be here, in the haven of my best friend's gaze.

**So, I'll leave you with that for now (: Thank you a TON for the reviews I received last chapter. I know I wasn't very deserving of them, but hopefully this chapter (and the fact that I updated in a reasonable amount of time) will satisfy you more thoroughly ! I thought I'd leave this chapter to the "Olivia side" of the story. Next chapter, I'll write the Harris, Parker, Fin stufff. The good crime stuff. Lol Review and let me know your thoughts, comments, questions, and requests! :D**


	25. Chapter 25

**Fin's POV:**

"Move it, scumbag," I said shoving Lowell Harris roughly into the precinct's holding cell.

He stumbled forward a few steps and caught himself against the opposite wall of bars.

"I want my lawyer!" He grunted as he turned around to face me.

I stood in the open door way and smirked at him.

"Yeah," I said, "We get it. You said it every five minutes on the ride here."

Then, as if on cue, Munch emerged around the corner, hauling with him a huge, bald, tattooed criminal.

"Well, the thing is your lawyer is stuck in traffic. He won't be arriving for another 2 hours at least. Until then," I said, my smirk growing wider, "We'll just keep you in this cage with Big Bubba, here."

Harris's eyes flashed to the hulking man who was approaching, then back to me with a terrified expression.

"Big Bubba here," Munch added, "Is getting ready to do 40 years for sexual assault."

"And," Captain said, appearing from his office, "All of his victims were men from the ages of 30-40."

Harris's eyes were widened considerably, and he backed himself against the wall as Bubba was led into the cell.

"Let's see how you like being on the receiving end, Little Lowy," I said before slamming the door, laughing, and walking away with Munch and Captain. Time to switch shifts with Elliot, and I had a feeling he would enjoy having some alone time with Harris.

**Elliot's POV:**

Olivia's hand was soft in mine. Her darkened, heavy eyelids were closed, but every once in a while, her body would shift or she would squeeze my hand, giving me some indication that she was still 'there'. She was exhausted. Who would have known that after being in a heavy coma, one could still be so tired.

Mesmerized, I couldn't take my eyes off of her soft face. Right now, this moment, was the first time in quite a while that I've been able to just sit and think. Some of the thoughts I was getting, however, were not very peaceful.

I could still see dark bruises covering the pieces of Liv's exposed skin. And although I didn't know everything, my mind did enough imagining to come up with plenty of scenarios of how she got most of the marks.

A massive amount of hatred was stored in my heart toward the evil animals who did this to my beautiful best friend. Once I got my hands on them, they would beg for death. They would regret ever thinking about harming my partner.

My thoughts were interrupted when my cell phone began loudly buzzing in my pocket. I hurriedly reached it, trying my best to not let it wake Olivia. Luckily, I was able to answer it before she began stirring.

"Hello," I said quietly, getting up and moving outside the door of the room.

"El, it's Fin," his voice came through the phone, "How's Olivia?"

"She's good," I sighed, "She's awake.. Well, technically right now she's asleep, but she came out of the coma about an hour ago."

"That's great," he said, and I could practically hear the smile in his voice, "I knew our girl would pull through."

"Yeah, she's strong," I said with pride.

"Well, Munch, Cragen and I are headed down to the hospital to see her right now," he said, "Harris is being held at the precinct. I figured we could, you know, let you have some time with him while we were out. His lawyer should be there any minute now."

"Alright," I said, "I'll leave as soon as you guys get here. Her room is 273 on the second floor."

With that, we hung up.

Luckily, the hatred in my heart for Olivia's attackers hadn't lessened any. This was good.. I was going to need all the anger I could manage if I was going to see them soon…

**Matthew Parker's POV:**

Ever since the detective told me about all the blame falling on me if they couldn't get Harris, my entire body had been shaking. I kind of felt like a rat, you know, giving him up like that.. But I felt trapped. I didn't have another choice. Besides, he would have done the same to me in a heartbeat; we had always been friends, but Lowell was the most selfish person I knew.

My thoughts were driving me wild so I rested my head against my folded arms on the table, only to be disturbed a few seconds later by the door slamming open. I immediately sat up and bolted from my seat. It was Detective Tutuola.

"Did you find him?" I asked breathlessly, my heard tightening a little.

He looked at me with an arrogant smirk. He seemed much more relieved than earlier.

"Yeah, we found him," he said. My heart fluttered with relief.

"But," He added, "Olivia's awake at the hospital. And when she's ready, she is going to tell us every detail of what went on in that storage barn. You are going to be charged even more because she's a cop. Basically, you won't be seeing daylight for quite some time after we throw you away turning trial. I am going to go visit her now, and hopefully get some information from her. I thought I'd just leave you to ponder some of what I had to say. Goodbye now."

He turned and walked out the door with a confidence in his strut. Right then, I knew it. Harris and I had made our biggest mistake. We weren't getting out of this one.

**Elliot's POV:**

I walked through the precinct doors with determination, impatiently rode up the silent elevator, and once I got to the SVU floor, stormed over to the holding cell. There he was. I could see him clear as day.

I thought I would have been able to control myself, but I should have known better. I could practically feel my eyes go red at the sight of the man who raped, tortured, and injured my best friend.

"Hey," I shouted violently, running toward the cell.

He, and everyone else in the room, looked up at me.

From across the room, I caught sight of some of my coworker's eyes, reminding me to keep my cool. (If that was possible)

With gritting teeth and steaming anger, I turned to face Harris.

I yanked open the door with a clenched fist, but before I could do anything I would regret, I was stopped by an annoying voice."

"I know you aren't trying to talk to my client without his attorney present, Detective Stabler," Came the approaching voice of Harris's annoying defense lawyer, Hunter - the same one who represented him in the Sealview incident.

"Of course not," I retorted, "and we don't need to. We have everything we need against your client."

"Oh, but don't be so confident detective," He said with a mischievous grin, "I have something that might rain on your little 'justice' parade."

_**Annnnndddddddddd, I think I'll leave you with that for now! (: What does Harris's Lawyer have up his sleeve? How can he put a hole in this bullet proof case? Tune in next time on When it All Comes Back… Yeah, that sounded like a soap opera commercial. Lol anyways, I really hope this didn't suck! Review!**_


	26. Chapter 26

**Crap, guys. I did it again. I made you wait forEVER to get an update =( (Hey, at least it wasn't a year this time.) But to make up for the last few months, I wrote you a pretty long chapter here! I really hope you enjoy it, and I look SO forward to reading your reviews. Love always, Amanda.**

**Cragen's POV:**

"A psych defense?" Elliot screamed once we were in my office with Hunter and Harris.

"It's all right here, Detective," Harris's lawyer said, shoving a paper at Elliot.

I watched my best detective's face distort as he read through the doctor approved note.

"This is crap!" Elliot concluded as he chucked the paper back at the cocky lawyer.

"I'm sorry, Detective, but you simply cannot give my client a full sentence when he was clearly suffering from severe depression and accidental over-use of prescribed narcotics."

I stared blankly at him for a moment; he could not be serious.

"With all due respect, In all my years of working in law enforcement, this has to be the weakest defense I'd ever heard," I said, "And to see that a doctor approved this? That's crazy. Even so, there was no way this will stand up in court."

"And you must be forgetting about the fact that he escaped from prison?" Elliot shouted, "He's obviously going to have to go in for that!"

Hunter kept his gaze steady.

"I realize this, detective," he stated coolly, "But Mr. Harris only had about a year left to serve at the time he had escaped. When they take him in for inmate escape, that will only add an additional 6 months to his sentence."

"Uh-huh," Elliot sneered, getting more and more outraged, "And what about Olivia's case? You honestly think Harris is gonna walk on this one?"

Hunter smirked.

"No," he said, "But when the jury and a judge take Lowell's state of mind into consideration, they will have sympathy for a man who was the victim of a mental issue. He'll be out in 5 years, tops."

I braced myself, physically preparing to jump in and pull Elliot away from a fight which he looked like he was about to start. His face was red, his muscles tensed. I could practically see the smoke rising from his ears. But instead of pouncing on the puny lawyer in front of him, Elliot began speaking in the most intimidating voice I'd ever heard.

"No, you listen here, scumbag. The _only_ thing the judge and jury are going to see is one of the most loyal, respectable, decorated officers in New York who has been brutally victimized by your sadistic pervert of a client. Olivia has her friends, her brothers and sisters in blue, and the law on her side. Lowell Harris has shredded lives because of what he's done, and I'll be darned if he's not dragged out of that court room with 25 to life ahead of him."

I stared at Elliot, radiating with pride. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Hunter, however, kept that same smug expression that made even me want to hit him.

"I guess we'll see in court," Hunter said, leading Harris out of the office and shutting the door behind them.

Elliot and I followed them out with our eyes and turned to each other when they were gone.

"This is insane," he said with a heavy hearted sigh.

I gave him a look of understanding, knowing full well he wasn't just referring to the psych defense.

"I know, Elliot," I consoled, "We're all feeling completely lost. We never imagined it would be Olivia sitting in the hospital."

Elliot sank into one of the chairs behind him and buried his head in his hands.

"I just don't have a clue as to what to do right now," he said, "I feel like there is no right thing to do in a situation like this. And.. I don't know.. I just feel.. Helpless. I feel absolutely helpless, and that's not something good to feel when it's your partner in trouble."

I took in a deep breath and sat down in the chair beside the hurting detective. I instantly felt myself slipping into father mode; a mode I've found myself slipping into a lot since becoming captain of SVU.

"Elliot," I said, "You talk to victims - and families of victims- every day of your life. And you're good at it."

"Olivia is better," he mumbled.

"But you know how to deal with them, El."

"Not when it's Olivia!" He said, shooting up from his seat. I was surprised to see tears in his blood-shot eyes.

"Yes, I deal with victims a lot, but never someone that I care about _so much. _Not when it's my partner. _Not_ when it's my best friend."

"I know this is hard to understand when you're so close to the case, but every victim you see is someone's best friend, or daughter or wife. While each victimized woman has her own needs, what is the one thing that you tell every family member and friend to do?"

Elliot stared back at me for a few seconds.

"I tell them to just be there for her. To make her feel supported."

I stood up, placed my hand on Elliot's shoulder, and gave him a small smile.

"Maybe its time you started following your advice."

He stared at me for a while longer, then blinked and nodded.

Elliot looked at his watch.

"Almost six o'clock," he said, "I should probably go back and see Liv again."

"Wait up," I said, remembering something and walking behind my desk. I grabbed my jacket and put it on. Then I bent down to retrieve a small, brown teddy bear with the words "Get well soon" from the bottom drawer, "My hours are over, I think I'll join you. By the way… I've decided to put you back on the case."

Elliot looked surprised.

"Why?"

"I figure it will be the best way to make you feel like you are doing something helpful for Olivia," I said, "And we still need to get her formal statement. She'd probably feel most comfortable doing that with you."

**Olivia's POV:**

I laid awake in my hospital bed feeling stupid and dirty.

Stupid, because of the current situation. Being so overly eager to escape the confines of my safe hospital room, I'd over done it and fallen out of a freaking _city bus. _That Just spells out stupid, doesn't it? Its almost laughable.. It was my desire to get _out_ of here so bad that got me back in.

I felt _dirty_ because even after several days of being away from Harris and Parker, I could still feel them all over me. It's like they attack never stopped; I was still being violated. I shuddered as a wave of disgust washed over me. I hadn't been asked to give a formal statement yet, but I expected it any time now.

That was something I surely wasn't looking forward to. In addition to the fact that giving a statement would force me to relive this whole event in great detail even more than my flashbacks already did, I would be saying all of these things to my colleagues. The people I went to work with _every day. _

I expect captain to have Elliot orchestrate this one. After all, he is my partner. But honestly, when I think about it, I don't know which person from the squad would be _best _for this particular job. Telling the horrific events to any of them is going to be beyond awful, and I was so worried about their reactions. I'd never been so open, so _vulnerable_, in front of anyone at work. They would certainly be seeing a whole new side of me..

_Knock knock. _

I looked over to the doorway to see Captain Cragen and Elliot standing there.

"Come in," I welcomed them with my still-hoarse voice. I kept my face downward, still finding it difficult to make eye contact with them.

"How are you doing, Liv?" Cap asked gently. I didn't know how exactly to respond so he added, "Physically, I mean. How is your body?"

I sighed in relief, not wanting to explain anything that was going on in my _head_.

"It isn't bad now," I said, offering a small smile, "They've got me pretty well supplied with morphine."

"That's good," he said with a sincere smile. Then he brought a small teddy bear out from behind his back.

"Here," he smiled, "This is for you.. It's kind of cheesy, but it's all the hallmark store had."

I held the bear in my hands and felt myself beginning to smile.

"Thanks," I whispered, "It really means a lot."

I moved my hand to lightly grasp my sweet Captain's. I was genuinely touched at how much my team cared about me.

"Well, I have dinner plans with a couple of buddies from Brooklyn tonight," Captain said, releasing my hands after a few seconds, "I'd better get going.. Goodbye Liv. You're in my prayers."

With a smile, he left the room, leaving me and Elliot alone.

Being the observant cop that I was, the thick, square outline in Elliot's jacket pocket did not go unnoticed by me. It was a recorder.

"You didn't come here just to visit, did you?" I asked.

He looked confused for a moment, then patted his pocket and pulled out the tape recorder.

"Not just," he said, offering a small smile.

I sat up in bed and swung my legs over the edge of the bed, positioning myself across from Elliot who was now settled in a chair beside my bed.

"I knew this was coming," I sighed, "I just wasn't looking forward to it."

Elliot looked at me with the most caring, understanding expression.

"It won't be easy on either side," he said.

He held my gaze for a moment longer and then proceeded to hit the record button. We both had one thing in mind: get through this crucial step and move on to the next.

"Please state your name," he said, looking into my pained eyes.

"Olivia Benson.."

_10 minutes later.._

Elliot shut off the tape recorder and slid it back into his jacket pocket. The two of us sat in awkward silence for a few moments.

"So?" I said, expectantly.

He looked confused.

"So.. What?"

I looked down at my lap and then directed my gaze at him.

"Elliot, you know I don't want to be left out of this case. My _own_ case,"

It was still weird saying that, "Fill me in."

Elliot sighed, a long, exasperated sigh.

"We haven't gotten either one to talk about what happened at the storage garage," he said, "but we have them for kidnapping a cop, at the very least. And after the rape kit results get back to the judge, that will be a given.."

He looked down at his lap for a while, but I never stopped staring at him.

"Have I mention how much I hate them for what they've done?" He said, plainly trying to get off the subject.

"There's something else.." I accused, "What aren't you telling me?"

He looked away and then regained eye contact with me.

"Okay, Harris's lawyer is going for a psych defense," Elliot sneered.

My stomach knotted and my face grew contorted into one of confusion.

"He what?" I asked, flabbergasted, "On what grounds?" I demanded.

"Something about him being under the influence of an accidental overdose," Elliot rolled his eyes.

My heart was pumping loud with anger.

"A courtroom full of _pre-schoolers_ wouldn't even go for that!" I exclaimed.

"I know, I know," Elliot said, "We all know that. So there's nothing to be worried about. Everything is going to be okay."

I nodded silently, looking down to my lap again as Elliot tried to soothe me.

I wanted to believe what he was saying. Although I was sure Harris's pathetic psych defense wouldn't stand up in court, I wasn't so positive that 'everything would be okay'. As things stand right now, nothing is ever going to be okay. Never the _same. _Never again.


	27. Chapter 27

**Quicker update this time! (: Trial next chapter (yay) Enjoy! =)**

**Olivia's POV**

After slipping out of my rough, papery hospital gown and into the soft, familiar clothes that Elliot had brought me, I sat on the edge of the bed and picked up my cell phone. I punched in the memorized number of my partner and waited for him to pick up.

"Hello?" he answered the phone.

"Hi, Elliot," I said, surprised and grateful that my crackly voice was finally beginning to heal.

"What's up, Liv?" He asked, "Is everything alright?"

I almost smiled at his concern.

"Yes, El," I replied, "Everything's fine. They're sending me home today.. Finally."

"That's great, Liv!" I could hear the genuine feeling in his voice.

"Yeah," I said, "Have I ever expressed my extreme hatred for hospitals?"

"A few times," Elliot chuckled, "So do you need me to pick you up?"

"If you aren't too busy.."

"Of course not, Liv," he said, practically smiling through the phone, "I'll be there in a few."

I thanked him and hung up the phone just as my doctor walked in carrying a brown sack.

"Good morning, Miss Benson," he said, cheerily, "Today's the day!"

I mustered up the best smile I could.

"I trust the nurse had you fill out all the paperwork?" he asked.

I nodded.

"Alright," he said, "Then there is only one more thing to take care of.."

I watched as the doctor's hand reached in the bag and pulled out another transparent bag. Inside was the undergarments I had been wearing at the time of my rescue. Seeing them made be shudder in disgust.

"It is protocol to ask if you want these b-"

"No," I snapped, "Keep them, burn them.. Do whatever. I don't want them back."

The doctor nodded, sliding the garment bag back into the brown sack.

"Do you have someone to pick you up?" the doctor asked, gently.

"Yes," I replied, "My partner."

He nodded and turned to walk out of the room. When he got to the door threshold, he turned and looked back at me with caring eyes.

"Olivia.." he whispered, "I hope you get better."

"Thanks," I said, offering the smallest of smiles. And then he was gone.

During the fifteen minutes it took for Elliot to get to the hospital, I was left to sit on my bed and think. Thinking was _not _a good thing for me at the time. Considering, every time my eyes closed, my rapists faces are all I can see.

When Elliot finally arrived about 15 minutes later, I was so relieved.

"El," I said standing up, "Thanks so much for coming."

"It was no problem," he said, as we began our walk downstairs.

I tried not to make it evident that every step was `excruciating because that would only make Elliot more overly concerned for me. But it was pretty hard to hide.

When we arrived at his car, I saw that Elliot hadn't been driving his squad car..

"El," I said, "You let me interrupt you on your day off?" I was almost mad.

He smiled a crooked smile as he opened the passenger door for me.

"Like I said, it was no problem."

I couldn't help but send him a smile as I stepped into the car.

**Elliot's POV:**

I drove in silence to Olivia's apartment with my quiet, fragile partner in the passenger seat. I hated the way she looked so defeated. Her usually beautiful, vibrant eyes were now dull and..

I stopped myself.

Did I just refer to Olivia as beautiful?

Not that she isn't.. She definitely is. And not that I hadn't realized before.. It's just.. I was seeing her for the first time. I subconsciously looked over at her.

She must have sensed me staring at her because she looked over curiously.

"What?" She asked, looking lost.

"Nothing," I chuckled to myself.

She _was _beautiful.

I would do anything to see her eyes light up again; to see my old partner back. I couldn't wait until this whole fiasco was over. Better yet, I wish I would have done my job and protected her in the first place. I felt a pang of guilt hit my chest and decided to stop thinking.

"So," I said, aloud, "Court tomorrow, Liv."

She nodded in response.

"You nervous?" I asked her.

Her eyes dropped to her lap, shamefully.

I glanced over at her, confused at this emotion. What did she have to be ashamed about. I was about to ask when Olivia began speaking in a low voice. She began with a dark chuckle.

"I.. go to court at least four times a week," she said, "I testify, I witness, I watch. I help victims through their testimonies, I listen for hours to cross examinations, and I'm basically I pro at court terminology. So I feel absolutely pitiful being nervous about tomorrow. But yes, Elliot, I _am."_

I sat speechless for a while. That certainly wasn't Olivia's usual "I'm fine". Maybe that was a good thing?…

By this time, I was pulling up to her apartment's parking lot.

I cut the engine of the car and the two of us sat in silence before I decided on what I should say.

"Olivia.." I said, " I'm sure you don't need me to tell you any of this.. But you.. Are the best cop I have _ever_ met. You are the strongest woman I have ever met. Just because.. _this_… happened to you, it doesn't mean anything about your personality has changed. When I look at you, I still see the same independent, hardheaded woman who has been my partner for a decade."

I allowed my hand to gently take hers.

"Olivia," I said, almost wanting to cry as I looked into her broken eyes, "If anyone could make it through this, it's you. I have faith in you."

Her chocolate-brown orbs reciprocated a look of my own; a look of overwhelming intensity. Our faces began growing closer and I our eyes connected. Suddenly, her gaze broke, and she backed away, leaving an empty feeling in my chest.

"We'll see." she said and got out of the car.

**Finn's POV:**

I felt like Elliot.

It was _his_ thing to be all psycho-depressed in the locker room during the wee hours of the night. Except now, the only man looking in the dirty, scratched-up mirror, was a sad, frustrated resemblance of me.

I sighed and then sank to the bench by the locker, putting my head into my hands. I didn't want to be at home right now, because I don't feel like putting up with an argumentative girlfriend and thick tension. So this was the only place for me. Pathetic.

I really couldn't blame my girl, though, for being so sour. Ever since Liv's case started, I haven't made much time for her. I couldn't. It seems like every moment was either spent thinking about Liv's well-being, puttin' the pressure on her captors, or feeling the guilt.

Most often, it was the guilt.

Even though it was months ago, the incident at Sealview seems like it was just yesterday. Everyday, I go through the torture of having to relive seeing Olivia's face when I opened the basement door.

I keep thinking: What if I was a few minutes -or seconds- later?

I was supposed to be in there as Liv's only back up, and what do I do? Hit her with a night stick and then almost let her get raped. Shows how great of a cop I am .

Ever since then, When I look at Olivia, it's like we're sharing a secret. A painful, dark secret that no one could understand unless they were there. But they weren't. No one but me, Liv, and that scumbag of a C.O.

And now that this new case has happened, its like the emotions of Sealview have been amplified.

Dang.

This is too much.

I sighed again as I pushed myself up from the bench and looked at my watch. 11:33. I should probably get home. I walked downstairs and grabbed my jacket from my desk. I needed my sleep tonight if I was going to Support Liv tomorrow.


	28. Chapter 28

_Disclaimers are a pain in the butt. Because obviously if I owned Law and Order SVU, Elliot and Olivia would already have 4 million beautiful babies together. That being said, credit goes to Dick Wolf. Okay, now here comes the intense, long-awaited trial scene. I really , honestly feel like my writing has been slacking lately :/ I haven't felt content with many of the past few updates, but I want to look at this chapter as my comeback! I mean, its TRIAL. Stuff is about to go down ;) Oh, and I am going to make the trial process as realistic and accurate as possible, but I don't know if I'll get everything right, so cut me some slack! I really hope you guys enjoy. PLEASE REVIEW ! _

**Olivia's POV:**

Despite the gratitude I felt for awakening in my own bed instead of a cold hospital, getting up this morning was more of a challenge than ever.

I'm not sure if it's the dread I was feeling because of the trial or the nerves of having to face my rapists for the first time since my rescue. Or maybe it was because I had been up all night long, trying to fight away flashbacks and terrorizing faces that weren't really there.

Either way, when my alarm went off, I thought about just lying in my safe, comfortable bed all day. Going to trial wasn't that important, right?

Wrong.

My common sense got a hold of me and brought me back to all the times I've talked with victims of rape and told them that convicting their attacker was a major step in the healing process. And no matter what the ruling was in court, no victim had ever regretted testifying.

I took a deep breath and tried to use my own advice to calm my nerves.

Eventually, I mustered up enough strength to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom sink.

But one look in that mirror was all it took to get my lip trembling.

One word came to mind when I saw my reflection: pitiful.

Just look at me. A cop. A female cop. The _only_ female cop in her unit. The only one who has had to work three times as hard as anyone else just to gain trust and respect.

And then this happens. All my credibility, down the drain.

_Don't tell yourself that. Your squad loves you, _the miniscule, positive voice told me.

But any positive arguments were drown out by the shaking, terrified figure staring back at me in the bathroom mirror.

Mathew Parker and Lowell Harris had ruined me. They desecrated who I am as a woman, a detective, and as a person. They used me like I was their slutty, little play toy, and I didn't have the strength to do a thing about it.

It was a simple fact, and I hated it. Suddenly, the slight lip trembles evolved to sobbing.

How was I going to testify today in court if I couldn't even stand in my own bathroom without losing it? Pathetic.

_Stop! _I wanted to shout at the negative thoughts corrupting my mind.

I was going to make a complete fool out of myself. In front of my co-workers, my captain, and the court. Everyone was going to see how weak I was, and how much power those to vial creatures had over me.

I sunk down to perch on the ledge of the bathtub and took a deep breath.

Cradling my head in my hands and trying to get a grip, logic began coming back to me.

This was my chance for redemption; my chance to tell the world-no matter how humiliating- how sick and twisted these monsters are. I am going to tell my story and convict them, and come out victorious. Even if I feel sometimes like I'm on the losing end.

Right now I can't even begin to see the light at the end of this dark, horrific tunnel, but something deep inside of me knew that testifying today would bring me one step closer to healing.

So with a burst of determination, I grabbed my soaked rag and wiped away the streams of defeated tears and ugly streams of makeup on my face. I can do this.

**Harris's POV:**

Sitting in my holding cell, I wasn't a bit nervous.

Parker, who was in the cell next to mine, was probably feeling the same way. After pulling a few short strings, I'd managed to get my buddy a pretty strong psych defense. It was the least I could do after bailing on him the day the cops found the storage place.

Ever since my court appointed lawyer went for the whole "psych" thing, this thing has been smooth sailing for us. I even got to see Olivia's little partner get all riled up about it. Wasn't that interesting.

I had it all planned out in my head: I would go in there, tell my sob story of how I was mis-prescribed a dose of medicine that affected my psych. (I a good doctor-friend of my brother's sign for approval). Even if I don't have the jury eating out of my hands, the judge legally can't put me away for something I was "not accountable" for doing.

Having the hookups was great.

That's why when the guard came to the cell door and opened it, I walked out of there with the biggest smirk on my face. Showtime.

**Olivia's POV:**

Just look forward, Olivia.

Stop shaking, focus on feeling your feet on the ground, and ignore the fact that your _rapists _are sitting less that fifteen feet away from you. Just relax.

Elliot, knowing me better than anyone, sensed my fear laid a gentle hand on my back. I jumped, but he kept it there anyways, tracing small circles against the back of my jacket.

"Liv?" Elliot barely whispered. I knew what he was asking.

"I'm fine, El," I shakily whispered back, "I've got this."

But really, my very soul was shaking. The only mercies I had right now was Elliot's soothing hand and the fact that someone was sitting directly in the way of _their _line of sight.

My mission for the day: Avoid eye contact at all cost, and survive.

So far, both of those hopes are still in tact.

My thoughts were interrupted by an unfamiliar judge making his way to the bench.

"All rise for the Honorable Judge Rosenburg."

We rose. And I made sure to look at my feet, in case _they _wanted to take an opportunity and psych me out.

"You may be seated," announced the judge in a deep, rumbling voice.

After we were seated, he called for Casey to make her opening statement.

I reminded myself to stay calm as the time grew closer and closer for me to testify. Elliot's hand kept its steady rhythm, keeping me connected to reality.

Casey stood from her wooden chair, shoulders back and chin up, so determined. Just as she was for every case. Except this time, she was protecting me, her friend.

"Your Honor.. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury," she began with a crystal clear voice, "These two defendants before you today have been charged with the assault, kidnapping, and brutal rape of a decorated NYPD detective. Detective Olivia Benson" -she motioned to me in the crowd - "has been scarred both mentally and physically through this horrible ordeal. We, the city of New York City, have come today to receive justice for everyone involved."

She sat back down and the judge motioned for Harris, Parker, and their lawyer to stand.

The scrawny, blonde lawyer looked incredibly nervous standing before the prestigious judge and a courtroom full of people. Ashamed, almost.

"How do the defendants plea?"

"Not Guilty by reason of mental defect, Your Honor," he spoke as he brought a signed paper to the Judge's bench.

I took this opportunity to finally assess the two animals called the defendants.

Despite their presentable court attire, the only thing I could see was filth.

Even from behind, I could sense their evil. I began to feel their hands again, remember the smells and.. Tastes. I doubled over and hugged my arms to my stomach. Elliot added gentle pressure to the strokes on my back, as if to say "I'm still here."

"Very well," the judge said, skeptically reading over the paper that was handed to him, "Miss Novak, you may call your first witness."

Casey stood once more and angled herself slightly toward the crowd; toward me. And I knew it was time.

"I would like to call Detective Olivia Benson as my first witness."

Elliot's hand moved to my own as I stood.

I looked to my partner once more before approaching the stand. Instead of saying anything, he simply smiled and brushed his thumb over the back of my hand.

That said more than words could ever measure up to.

So with the little courage I had, I made my way to the front of the room, putting metaphorical blinders on as I passed the defendants' table.

I took the familiar oath of truth that I'd taken so many times when testifying in court; The _only_ thing even remotely familiar about this scenario for me. Then, I was seated.

In the hot-seat, I could feel the burning stares of everyone in the courtroom, and it was almost too much. I wondered how victims were ever able to do this..

_Just focus on Casey and her questions, _I mentally reminded myself. As if on cue, the blonde ADA stepped directly in front of the stand, intercepting my line of sight to the Harris and Parker.

I mentally thanked her and let out a breath.

"Detective," Casey began in her laywer-voice, "Can you please explain to the jury what happened the day of your kidnapping?"

I cleared my throat. Here goes nothing.

"Yes," I said, "My partner and I had just been called to the scene of a crime. The dead body of a woman; not the first, either, that Lowell Harris had sent to us, almost as a warning. We were going over the details of the scene with CSU when I noticed a message engraved by knife on the female's leg, covered in blood."

"What did it say, detective?" Casey interjected.

I closed my eyes as I remembered back to that exact moment, seeing and feeling everything perfectly.

"It said, 'Look Up'."

"And what did you see when you looked up?"

I took another deep breath.

"When we looked to the roof of the high-rise next to us, we saw Harris's face. He had a gun, and he shot down at us on the scene. Immediately, Detective Stabler and I began the pursuit. We chased him all the way up until we got to a storage room in the top floor. Then the power was cut. I, being closer to the steps to the roof, took the opportunity to feel my way up. I reached a door and pushed through. When I was out onto the roof, I heard the door slam shut behind me.. That's when I saw Harris. I began reading him Miranda, ready to arrest him, but he was acting suspicious. Then Matthew Parker came into the scene. He was armed and had his gun to my head. My weapon was stripped of me and slid across the rooftop. They forced me down the side latter and into a van they had waiting in an opposite alley, and chained me up."

At this point, my heart began to beat heavier.

"What happened next?" Casey gently prompted, "Where did they take you?"

"Uhm," I started out shakily. I could feel myself beginning to lose my grip on composure, "I couldn't see where we were going because they had painted over the van windows with black. But once on the way, the van pulled over. Parker exited the vehicle and Harris came back and began assaulting me."

I lowered my eyes and continued.

"I screamed and begged him to stop touching me.. But he told me there was no one around to help. Fortunately, he stopped when Parker got back in the car. We drove for another couple of hours; it was hard telling just how long I was in there. It seemed like forever. But eventually the van pulled into some sort or garage or barn. They unlocked me from the van and pulled me out. That's when… That's when…"

I interlocked my shaking hands and set them on my lap. The tears began to shamefully fall. So much for composure.

"That's when they took me over to the mattress in the corner.."

I could barely understand my own words because of the cries that were now shaking my body.

"What happened next, Olivia?" Casey asked, gently resting her hand on the rail in front of the stand.

"I knew what was coming, so I fought them. I fought them hard. As hard as I could!" I explained desperately, "But the two of them overpowered me. They held me down and took turns.. Raping me."

The courtroom was silent, besides the sound of my own sobs.

"Was that the only time they hurt you?" Casey asked, knowing full well the answer herself, but still needing me to answer for the jury.

"No," I whispered, "They raped me several times while we were there. And once, Harris beat me so hard with a baseball bat, he fractured several parts of my legs."

"And you were rescued by Your partner and other police later that day, correct?" She questioned.

"Yes," I said.

"So," she continued, "Detective Benson, tell me, what were these two acting like during this whole ordeal? What were their emotions like from what you could tell?"

"Objection!" Came Hunter's voice from across the room before I had the chance to answer the question, "What is the relevance of my clients' 'emotions'?"

Casey smugly turned to the judge.

"Your Honor," she said, "I ask this to disprove the defendants' claim to have been mentally 'insane' during Olivia's time of captivity."

The judge nodded at me.

"Overruled, Mr. Hunter, sit back down," he rumbled, then turned to me, "You may answer the question, Detective."

I thought for a few moments. Not to remember anything, but to think of a correct way of wording it..

"They seemed _proud,"_ I spat, "Like they were so pleased with what they were doing to me. That is was some big accomplishment for them. They didn't seem detached or erratic at all. They were perfectly aware of their actions."

Despite my exhausted, disgusted expression, Casey offered me sympathetic nod.

"No further questions," she said.

I was almost relieved, until the defense Lawyer stood to his feet. Oh, great. The cross examination. The worst, most embarrassing, challenging part of testifying. I hugged my arms around my torso as he approached.

"Miss Benson.." he began. I didn't even bother correcting him by saying _Detective _Benson.

"Yes?" I responded.

"So you honestly thing these men were in their right minds during this whole episode?" he questioned.

I squinted my eyes at him.

During this '_episode'_," I spat, "they knew full well what they were doing. They made conversation, the made eye contact.. There was nothing that would lead anyone to believe otherwise."

Hunter nodded, pacing a few feet to the side, leaving an open line of sight between me and Harris and Parker. I automatically looked down at my lap. I think he picked up on my nerves.

"Miss Benson, is it true that Mr. Harris at one point hit you with a baseball bat?"

I looked at him funny.

"Yes?" I said, wondering how that question was going to help their case.

"Now, what kind of man who is in his _right _mind would to that to someone?" he asked, conceitedly.

My jaw _literally_ dropped. He's got to be kidding, right?

"Yeah, he's _sick,_" I said, "But in the way that all rapists, creeps, and pedophiles are.. The kind who _should be _locked up. Not the type of mentally sick that deserves a crappy psych defense to get off. They are no better than the raping scum that we arrest everyday."

The court was quiet. I took this opportunity to look over at the jury.

The looks on their faces showed that they were clearly on my side so far. Good. It sent me a boost of encouragement.

Hunter's face looked a little discouraged. Almost shocked, or maybe even defeated.

"No further questions.." he said, dropping his gaze to the ground.

I was relieved to be able to reclaim my seat next to my partner, feeling the gazes of everyone in the room finally leaving me. Of course, the second I joined Elliot, his hand resumed its gently rubbing, as if he had never left off.

"You did great," he whispered sincerely.

"Thanks," I replied, breathing out a lungful of air I didn't realize I was holding.

The relief I felt, however, was short lived when Casey called her next witness, Matthew Parker, to the stand.

Nothing real exciting happened with his examination. Both the people and the defense lawyers questioned him, but most of his answers were insincere apologies. I knew he didn't mean a word he said, and I doubted (and hoped) the jury didn't either.

When they called Harris, I knew it'd be a different story.

He'd always sort of been the "ring leader". and he was definitely much more confident (more like cocky) than Parker. I had a feeling that he'd be tougher.

And I was right.

From the second he took the stand, his eyes rarely left me. I never actually got the nerve to look directly at him, which made me feel more pathetic than ever.

I could practically feel Elliot boiling next to me. He saw what Harris was trying to do and couldn't do anything about it except for glare back at him.

The whole thing was just a pretty intense smoke-in-mirrors show.. That is, until Casey began pulling out the photos.

The first blown up picture she used was of me at the hospital, bruising on my face, neck, and arms.

Several members of the jury and I, cringed at the sight.

Harris, however, simply stared at his handy work with a smirk. I felt sick.

"This," Casey growled, "Is Detective Benson at the hospital.. The Day after she was rescued from your captivity. Can you explain how this happened?"

Harris looked straight at her and cocked his head.

"I was sick, didn't you hear?" he retorted.

The way he said it told everyone in the court room that he knew that wasn't true.

"You were sick?" she asked, incredulously.

"That's what I said," he snapped.

A smirk formed on her face, and I knew she had a plan. I just really hoped with all that I had, that it worked.

"So you don't know how Olivia got these bruises?"

Harris looked like he didn't know what to say. He looked from his lawyer back to Casey.

"I.. do remember," he said, almost unsurely, "I just couldn't help it. The drugs made me do it."

"The drugs made me do it," Casey repeated, "Classic excuse. But if these drugs really did 'make you do it', Mr. Harris, then you would never do this on your own, right?"

"No," Harris lied.

"So your saying that the drugs gave you the _power _to commit these crimes.. The _strength _behind these bruises didn't really come from you, did they? Huh? You not strong enough all on your own?"

"Objection!" Hunter yelled out, but it was too late. Casey had set off a spark that could not be tamed in Harris.

She challenged his power.

In a fit of rage, Harris rose to his feet, knocking the wooden chair behind him to the floor.

"I am strong enough!" he yelled, raising his fist at Casey, who stood back with the same smirk, "I don't need anything to help me fight. It's all natural. I wasn't under the influence of _crap _that day."

"Shut up, Harris!" Yelled Parker and Hunter.

"Calm yourself, Mr. Harris!" ordered the judge.

But he kept ranting.

"Neither was Parker!" he yelled, realizing that he didn't want to go down alone, "I had a doctor friend help me out with that paperwork, but you idiots were stupid enough to go along with it. We did it! We did that cocky broad detective, and I'll admit it."

In the midst of all the yelling in the court room, Casey managed to keep her cool and utter the final words.

"No further questions."

After Harris was able to be calmed, he and Parker were stuck in the aftermath of Harris's rage. Right where I wanted them to be; where we _needed_ them to be.

We were given a few minute recess to allow the Jury's deliberations, but then we herded back to our seats. There were no doubts now, we were just waiting on them to say the words.

"On the count of assaulting a police officer, how do you find the defendants?" the judge's voice rumbled when the session had started back up.

A representative from the jury stood and looked at the judge.

"We find the defendants… guilty."

"On the counts of rape of a police officer, how do you find the defendants?"

"We find the defendants guilty."

"On the count of kidnapping of a police officer, how do you find the defendants?"

"We find the defendants.. Guilty, your Honor."

Elliot and I let out sighs of relief in unison.

"Very well," the judge said, with a hint of a smile on this face, "Lowell Harris and Matthew Parker, I sentence you to 25 consecutive years in the State penitentiary. Court is dismissed."

At the sound of the gavel, Elliot and I rose to our feet. He looked me in the eye before pulling me into a warm, long embrace. My arms wrapped themselves around his waist and I pulled him closer, feeling all the emotions of the past couple of months pouring out to each other.

The hug was interrupted only when I felt a finger tapping my shoulder.

I reluctantly released my partner to see Casey Novak, wearing a triumphant smile.

"Great job, Liv," she said sincerely, "You were so strong. I'm so proud of you."

"No, Casey," I said, "You deserve the congratulations. Thank you so much."

We pulled each other in for a hug. I wanted to make sure this woman knew how much gratitude I had for her.

"You want to join me and some of the guys for celebratory lunch?" she asked.

"Thanks, Case, but no thanks," I said, running my hand through my hair, "I think I'm just going to go home and sleep off a stressful morning."

She nodded and smiled, "Understood," she said, "Again, great job today."

I nodded in response, and she turned to meet someone in the hallway.

I turned back to Elliot who was waiting with a smile. He gently took my face in his hands.

"Its over Liv.." he said, "There's nothing more to worry about now except healing."

I smiled back sincerely for the first time in a long time.

"I think I've taken the first step today."

El was practically beaming. Taking me by complete surprise, he leaned down and planted a soft kiss on my forehead.

In the midst of a noisy court room, I could almost hear my heart beating.

"Let's get you home," he said.

So we drove to my apartment. I told him I was probably going to sleep the rest of the afternoon.

Knowing me as well as he did, he offered to stay with me. I gratefully accepted. After all, I wasn't so used to being back, alone in my apartment.

So after about ten minutes of sitting and chatting in my living room, I found myself curled up, falling asleep on the couch opposite of Elliot Stabler.

I would sleep better today knowing that my partner was near and that my rapists were behind bars for a good, long time.

**The. End. **

**AHHHHHHH! Oh.. My gosh.. Did I actually just type those words? "The End?" Wow.. The funny thing is, when I began writing this (incredibly long) chapter, I NEVER expected it to be the end.. But like most of my chapters, my mind and hands started going crazy, and the chapter basically wrote itself.. So, wow.. Here we are.. At the end of like, a two year journey. I would like to thank you all so much for every single review, favorite, and alert. For every person who has read a word of this story, I thank you so much. It really means so much to me. But wait, this isn't over yet.. Oh yes, that's right… LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, LOOK OUT FOR THE SEQUEL! =) **


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